Your opinion dear ECers?

[OneHatMadder]

Okay a lot of you probably know that I'm fat. Before you get on the "WOAH! No self-esteem!" boat let me tell you that I've been fat all my life and I LOVE it. I enjoy being fat. It's who I am. It's as ingrained in me as being gay or liking musicals is. And to tell the truth I probably have too much self-esteem. But the other day I was talking to another gay guy on the internet. He said to me:
"Unfortunately the gay world do not find big attractive." I realised this would be true for quite a lot of people but SURELY there are some of you out there who like bigger guys! Or who at least don't MIND bigger guys!

Come on people! Help me keep my self-esteem!

What?
On monday I was walking through the gay part of paris and I walked in front of 2 bear bars packed full of big and/or hairy men. Lot's of guys like bigger men, I don't mind at all. Saying the gay world doesn't find the big attractive is a huge overstatement.

Isn't there like a whole fetish for big guys? >.< I think it'd be silly to say no one likes bigger guys. Everybody enjoys different flavours ^_^

Yes I was watching a video of how some gays like big guys and it's their fetish. Just like some people like skinny skinny skinny starving boys.

[beckyg]

Yeah, that's not true. It's true with gay people and its true with straight people too.

[Owen]

I'm one of those people. Believe me, there is a larger fat-appreciation section of the gay community than you may realize.

[Jeimuzu]

Hit a cub club sometime. You'll go down a storm.

Not really my type, but in all honesty neither Karl nor I are particularly thin. In fact, I'm in pretty poor physical shape, as he keeps proving by completely outmuscling me.

Bitch. <3

[Lexington]

I'm a bit on the round side, and my partner is a bit on the rounder side. I can't say I'm "into" bigger guys, but I certainly don't have any problem with them. Truth told, my last boyfriend was uber-skinny, and lying on him was like lying on a bag of sticks.

Lex

its about preferences isnt it. people find different things attractive whatever their sexuality

[Gerry]

Yeah it's definitely about preferance and different people find different sizes attractive. There are plenty of people in the gay community who find bigger guys attractive. It's not all the "typical gay guy" they're looking for.

[Tim]

I'm quite overweight as well, and as much as I hate it, I doubt I'll find someone, due to my self esteem atm >.<

However, there are plenty of people out there who look on the inside, not the outside, both straight and gay/lesbian. I've always said I care what's on the inside, not on the outside, and I stick by that, even if by some miracle I lose weight XD

[TriBi]

A friend of mine has a sticker on his car (actually put there by his daughter) which says:
"I'm in shape...ROUND is a shape".

That said - as you commented yourself - it isn't about 'shape', but more about self esteem.

If you are 'unskinny'...and paranoid/unhappy about it...you probably won't attract people.
If you are *insert any shape/size here* and happy in the skin you're in, and confident with it, people will flock to you. Simple really.

[Jeimuzu]

Originally Posted by Myzou

I'm quite overweight as well, and as much as I hate it, I doubt I'll find someone, due to my self esteem atm >.<

However, there are plenty of people out there who look on the inside, not the outside, both straight and gay/lesbian. I've always said I care what's on the inside, not on the outside, and I stick by that, even if by some miracle I lose weight XD

I don't think it's a case of looking on the outside or the inside. There really are people who like bigger guys.

[Tim]

Originally Posted by Jeimuzu

I don't think it's a case of looking on the outside or the inside. There really are people who like bigger guys.

I'm well aware of that, I was just referring to people in general though

[Lexington]

I think that yeah, skinnier guys probably will have an easier go of it than larger guys, all things being equal. But that's just it - all things are NEVER equal. It's one factor out of hundreds. Yes, there are gay guys out there who won't give you the time of day because you're fat, just as there are those who won't have anything to do with other races, or short guys, or less-than-attractive guys, or guys with no fashion sense. These guys aren't worth the struggle anyway.

I wouldn't necessarily focus specifically on the "chub chasers", either. If that's who you end up with, great, but you appear to have more to offer than just a few extra pounds.

Just make sure you're keeping YOUR expectations realistic as well. I was talking with a gay guy on "that other site" awhile ago who complained that he couldn't get any hot ripped guy interested in him "because they're so shallow that they can't see past my weight." I pointed out that he was specifically looking only for hot ripped guys, and he said, "I don't want another fat guy like me - I want somebody HOT!"

Apparently it's "shallowness" in others, but "selectivity" in ourselves.

Lex

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Lexington

Apparently it's "shallowness" in others, but "selectivity" in ourselves.

Lex is right. Yes, there are people in the gay community who think that fat guys are hot, but a guy who's only dating you because you're fat probably isn't worth dating. Still, it doesn't hurt. I myself wouldn't care about the weight of the person I date as long as they are nice. But a few added pounds can't hurt.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the chubby chaser community within the gay community.

[jroakwood]

Originally Posted by Lexington

Apparently it's "shallowness" in others, but "selectivity" in ourselves.

i think its all a matter of preference.
im not gonna lie and say that i would date a fat guy.
"personality matters" - when people say that they act like hot people dont have personalities or something. and thats dumb. because i know MANY hot people, and theyve got personalities, often times the best personalities.
like just because someone like me isnt attracted to fat guys. doesnt mean im a bad person.

[OneHatMadder]

Of course you aren't a bad person! nobody is saying that just because you wouldn't date a person because they are fat that you're a bad person. We all realise it is a matter of taste.

Thanks guys this is really helpful!

[jazzrawr]

So, erm...
basically youre BEAUTIFUL.
no matter how big or small you are, your personality is amazing!
and yeah, theres tonnes of people out there who like bigger guys!
i personally dont have that much of a preference...
i mean, i like girls from kiera knightley to Queen Latifah. XD
so it really is all about tastes.

[Lexington]

>>>i think its all a matter of preference. im not gonna lie and say that i would date a fat guy.

That wasn't the point, actually. It was more that I've run into a few fat guys who claim that people who won't date them are "shallow"...but then say they have no interest in dating another fat guy. In short, they exhibit the same tendencies that they damn other people for having.

Lex