Why are so many gays using the word "faggot" on each other?

Using it in a non-derogatory way rubs it in the face of people who do use it that way.. Or even to some extent somewhat of a self-deprecating-but-not-really joke

Although nobody really thinks about that when they're doing it, it is basically fighting back against the negative use of the word. Coopt it into normal language and as you said, it no longer has the same power.

 

Because as gay men, they feel like they have the ability to use it how they want. If a black man referred to her black friend as the N-word, who's gonna go after them? No one, because it's offensive if it's coming from an outside source (such as a white man).

But who cares really, if they love calling each other that more power to 'em.

 

I think there are a few reasons for this:

1. So as to take the wind out of homophobic sails. Basically using that name so that it's not truly offensive whenever someone calls someone else a faggot. The intent is to offend, and if the person who's supposed to be offended is already using it, it can't really offend them.

2. It could be a joke. Basically mocking homophobic people, and giving the message "Hey sweetie, I really do love you" because both parties get the message that being gay is actually perfectly fine. Mocking those who don't get it will probably get a laugh out of the receiving party.

3. It could be out of pride. We all know the story of "Yankee Doodle" which was originally a song made by the British to mock Americans. The Americans took that song and said, "Hey, yeah! That pretty much is us!" and effectively did what example 1 did: Took the wind out of the offender's sails. Similarly, they could be saying, "Yeah that's me and I'm proud of it!"

I'm not sure which one of these it really is or if it's something else, but that's what I've taken it to be.

 

I've got a high tolerance for crass humor, but I don't find this funny at all. It's no different than sitting on a bus and hearing young black guys talk about each other and all their friends by using the "n word." It's annoying to anyone who's around and doesn't want to hear it. More so than "faggot," I find the use of "bitch" more annoying. I was once talking to a guy about his hometown of Denver, and he said "Yeah, a lot of bitches in Denver." He was referring to guys. I didn't say anything, but I thought it was very self-deprecating.

 

I don't do it to homosexuals that I don't know, but my friends are just kind of mean to each other anyways, so calling me a rug gobbler is hardly an insult in comparison to other things we have said. It also depends on the context as well. I have a gay friend who is very sensitive about his sexuality. However, he is comfortable with being called a fag so long as a.) we are joking and b.) it isn't constant. We are respectful that his limits are a hell of a lot shorter than ours, and we make it a point not to call him that just to avoid any controversy.

On the other side of the coin, I used to have a friend who referred to himself as, "Faggotron".

 

I guess gay IS the new black. Lol. Camaraderie.. taking an insult and flipping it in a way that's playful. I don't use the N word a lot, but it's circumstantial. Example: "*N word, you're dumb" I don't actually mean my friend is dumb, but he's said something ignorant and/or silly, so I compounded it by referring to the slur. It depends on the friend I'm with I guess and even at that, I don't make it a habit. Now, when it comes to faggot.. I don't take offense to it, but then again..I've never been called a fag by a straight guy. Not sure how I'd feel about that...seeing as though I identify with straight men a lot more, I'd say it probably wouldn't bother me unless it was used in a way that was meant to be offensive, if that makes sense. Just as the same as someone calling me the N word. If a friend of another race uses that to identify me, it does make me a little uncomfortable if I don't know them well.. or hell, even if I know them. It's kind of like.. Should I let this person get comfortable with calling me that? It's a minority thing in my opinion and if you're white, I just don't like it much unless you're brought up in the same struggle by circumstances I guess.. the "underdog" terminology I guess. Mainly used for camaraderie, but I like to distance both words if I can. I love being black.. I love looking at my face in the morning, I love knowing that here in the south, I'll always know who my real friends are.. in the face of prejudice on a daily here, I just try to separate myself from the stereotypes of my own race because I don't think it's a synopsis for who I am. Same with the faggot word.. I separate myself from that stereotype because I'm a masculine man and it doesn't fit me. I guess if you felt like a faggot or a N word, you might not take too kindly to it, but it just depends on the individual.

 

I used to agree that with this sentiment until I realized how much of a hypocrite I was being. I don't use words such as the N word or faggot simply out of preference, but when I am with friends we toss out insult at each other like candy. We make light of stereotypes, racism, homophobia, and sexism. We know each other isn't going to take it in an offensive way, because it has simply become a way that we mess around with each other.

To be derogatory is to belittle; if you have ever said something in a comical manner, that could be insulting taken out of context, you can't really claim that you don't understand why they do it. Even if you still don't agree with those specific words being used.

 

Yeah, I can see where using that expression for 3 gay housemates who are using facial mask treatments might even be appropriate! :roflmao:

 

In a comic manner among friends is fine, but the calloused delivery of "Yeah, a lot of bitches in Denver," given that I wasn't a friend but someone he had just started talking to, came off as very jaded.

 

It isn't much different than some women playfully calling each other bitch/whore/slut/etc.

 

Words only have the meaning we assign to them. If you don't use them offensively, are the words really offensive?

 

To be fair, though, there are a lot of bitches in Denver.

 

The few times I used it with friends for irony's sake I didn't feel comfortable. I'm not much of a self censoring person by any means I really just don't have any desire to say the word at all. I feel like it's caused too much suffering for me to disregard and simply adopt it as a joke. While I realise it's like the "Guns don't kill people" argument in principle; the best way I can explain it is I don't want to touch a "weapon" that is used to attack and injure innocent people, friends and allies on a daily basis.

 

Ok, now THAT'S funny. And does it imply many G/B men as a percentage of Denver's male population, or a preponderance of bitchy G/B men, or both?

 

Call me faggot and you'll be lucky to speak to me again, no matter what your sexual orientation. I hate that word, and I won't tolerate it. No matter what, it's never OK to use self-deprecating terms, especially when they segregate us even more than we already are.

 

I will never use that word.

 

I used to use it a lot, but i started realizing how my LGBT supportive friends got offended. Now that i am out, i feal like such an @$$ for saying it. Im starting to find it more and more offensive. So ive stopped.