Masculine/Effeminate

I think "manly" versus "girly" is a silly way to describe people.

Each human being is a unique individual. All human beings have their own unique individual traits. Society wants to categorize some traits as "masculine" and others as "feminine", however the truth is that pretty much every human being on planet earth is some mix of both "masculine" and "feminine" characteristics.

So the whole idea is silly.

There are a lot of guys on the apps who will say "masc only" and "no femmes". On the other hand, in the gay bars I've been to in NYC, I see a lot of 'femme' guys out there. Perhaps, it is a difference in visibility.

However I personally do not categorize myself using such labels. Gender is a social construct to which I do not personally subscribe; I am a unique individual, not to be defined by maleness or femaleness.

 

I would have to agree with Rakkaus, that even though I understand you're interest in making this topic; I would at least use Feminine and Masculine over "Manly" and "Girly". Femininity and Masculinity are not gender exclusive descriptions. Not to mention, adding a option for the many neutral/neither/androgyne members of the site.

 

Fuck the gender binary.

 

I've got nothing against effeminate men, but they are a huge turn-off to me. That being said, overly-masculine guys (specifically the insecure type, that need to "prove" their manliness constantly) are also unappealing.

I see that some people are frowning upon the labeling and categorizing of people. This intentionally complicates communication. It can be a bit hard to precisely define what the OP is talking about, but we all know exactly what he means, and it makes things a lot easier for people to understand and relate to when we avoid excessive political correctness.

 

The problem is not confusion as to what the OP is saying, the problem is that the selected options are not reasonably versatile enough to include many of the members of the site. If the OP agreed this poll can easily be altered to mended.

It is not excessively "political correct" as ask that a thread that is seeking feedback for the rest of the site to present its questions and options in a way that is largely stigmatic and polarizing, especially in a topic that is trying to combat that in the community.

 

We do? "Manly" and "girly" are silly words I've only ever heard used in playground-style name-calling. A boy on a little league team who can't throw a ball well gets called "girly". A girl who is obsessed with cosmetics and frilly dresses is a "girly girl".

"Manly" I usually only hear used ironically. A man who calls himself "manly" comes off as insecure and would probably be the object of derision.

Is there anyone out there who seriously identifies as "manly" or "girly"?

 

Threads and topics like these usually result in people being idiotic, so I won't take part in the poll.

However, I agree that "manly" and "girly" are awful ways to describe people.

 

[YOUTUBE]HRKkhtSMZGo[/YOUTUBE]

 

Arnold Swartzinegger (sp?) used the term girly-men once when describing gay men. I've heard very few other people use that term. The poll terms should have been worded differently. I consider myself mostly masculine with a fem. side. I do find myself more drawn to masculine men but I'm not closed-minded about feminine men.

 

The fact that you use "manly", based on a term for an adult, and "girly", based on a term for a child, speaks volumes, if not about you, then about our culture. That said, I voted because I'm tired and didn't think about all the problematic elements of the poll before I did. The poll would have definitely benefited from an "in between" option and using "masculine" and "feminine" instead of "manly" and "girly".

 

Not really sure how non-binary people are supposed to relate to this poll. Or women for that matter.

 

The problem is that some people are over-analyzing what is essentially a vague, conceptual question, that calls for generalizing your identity and preference to suit the available criteria, in an effort to promote understanding of a particular concept. Most people are aware of the heteronormative ideal of sex-based gender traits. Society as a whole decides that some behaviors are expected of men, and others are expected of women. Men that fit the expectations are masculine, and men that do not, are feminine. There are many traits to consider, however, so coming up with a precise determination of masculine versus feminine can be difficult, but that's where you use your best judgment. If you walked into a bar and talked to ten men, there's a pretty good chance you could easily identify which men had an overall "masculine air" and which did not. It's sort of like pornography... you don't know how to define it, but you know it when you see it.

You might argue, however, that there is one major ambiguity, with people that are an even mix of masculine and feminine traits, or no strong traits at all. If such is the case, it can be noted in the responses to this thread. All you have to do is say something like "I'm not really manly or girly, but I like X."

As a side note, I agree that the terms "manly" and "girly" are a bit questionable, but I'm fairly confident in my understanding of the concept that is being communicated.

 

Or you could just criticize the entire premise of the thread.

 

More poll options are needed, even though some of the inconsistencies noted above make sense. I'm more of a masculine guy and, appearance wise, I tend to notice primarily masculine men and feminine women.

 

Well I guess I don't see a reason why playground insults "manly" and "girly" were used, when the OP could have at least just used "masculine" and "feminine". I don't know how many people would willingly identify themselves using this poll's terms, thus limiting participation in the poll.

And I would argue that it is the overwhelming majority of people who fall somewhere in between the extremes of masculinity and femininity. Only a small minority of people are walking talking stereotypes of pure masculinity or femininity.

 

I'm glam rock, and I like Annie Lennox only.

 

I generally go for gender-variant men and women, more on the androgynous side. I've found LGBT, especially trans, are more open to the idea, but then, there are plenty of heterosexual cismen and women who also blur gender lines, sometimes intentionally, and that's always a positive quality for me.

It's not that your typical masculine man or feminine woman is a turn-off, I just find them hard to relate to and to some degree conformist. We're from different worlds, although there are many ways to express masculinity and femininity, and like it's been said, most people are some combination of the two.

As diverse as gay male culture is, I find many of the subsets idealize a specific form of maleness. All fine and well, but as a genderqueer, leaves me feeling slightly invisible, similar to how I feel being 100% open with my bisexuality on either side of the fence.

 

I'm more on the masculine side of the equation myself in terms of both presentation and preference. However, I wouldn't outright discount a guy with some effeminate qualities simply because of that - if he's a kind, caring, compatible guy - why not?

Again, if the OP is amenable to amending the poll, that can be easily done

 

Mostly masculine and strongly prefer girly guys. However, I won't rule out other manly guys, as long as they're not totally macho gym rats.