Help?

[shyguy626]

so i dont understand
i feel so wierd
i have finally had sex and have been with a guy for about three weeks now..
and sometimes i feel like "im not gay"? but yet i still have feelings about him or other guys...like i dont feel like im not but i hate that i ? myslef this late into the game
what should i do??
any help plz





thnx

[Lexington]

How "late" into the game are you? You don't appear to be that old, and you're not "out" to anybody. Try not to worry about what label you're supposed to wear. Just think about your guy. Do you like him? Do you like being with him? Even if you don't (really), that's no sign - he might just not be a guy you click with.

Lex

[Jim1454]

Yes - don't sweat it. You're maybe feeling negative more because you think you're supposed to after being with a guy. Society's attitudes can weight pretty heavy on us.

Plus - if it's only about sex, then that might not be entirely fulfilling. There's more to life than just having sex with one gender or the other.

Just give it time. Life's not a race.

[Jeimuzu]

People change. I don't think a gay person ever turns completely straight or vice versa, but I do think there's a bit of wriggle room in our sexualities. Many people who identify as gay might have a hint of bi in them. Don't worry, just don't think about gender, think about what you feel for the person, and don't let society's - or indeed, your own - label of what you've decided you are now, hold you back. You'll find out what you like and what suits you in your own time, for now just chill, date whoever you want to, and you'll know what you are sooner or later.

[shyguy626]

thanks guys
well i have been out for about a year now and im 18 and he was/is my first the more i think about it the more i realize guys are what i want its just that i want to play the field its odd to know that i waited this long and it came and there was no fire no wreckless want ya know?? like i am and expect more i guess... hope im not talking in circles thanks for all the support

[Lexington]

Sometimes we build it up our first time a bit too much. We start expecting the earth to shake, the heavens to part, and a choir to start singing. Instead, well, it's just sex. And sometimes, our first time ain't that great. There's a lot of fumbling around, and worrying about whether we're doing it right. You'll get better at it.

Lex

[Jeimuzu]

Reckless want doesn't really happen. It gets better the more you settle down with it. Very few people have a hugely enjoyable first time; I couldn't get off during my first time (I blame him though )

[Jim1454]

Originally Posted by shyguy626

thanks guys
well i have been out for about a year now and im 18 and he was/is my first the more i think about it the more i realize guys are what i want its just that i want to play the field its odd to know that i waited this long and it came and there was no fire no wreckless want ya know?? like i am and expect more i guess... hope im not talking in circles thanks for all the support

Oh gosh yes - as stated above - your first time is not necessarily going to be all that great. It gets better. Honest.

[ccdd]

You may have just not clicked with him, is all. I think the comments about the first time not being so great also probably hold true (I say this as a woman with experience of straight sex...)

Basically: you cannot decide your sexuality - or anything at all - by one sexual encounter!

And I would also say, don't worry about feeling you've come late to the game - you haven't!! You're only 18, many of us here came to it all much later than that, so don't worry

[shyguy626]

haha well i totally figured it out
we didn't even begin as friends we had sex
so now i feel dumb...but o well

[Lexington]

If all you have in common is "he's willing to take off his clothes for me", and especially if the sex ain't great, then yeah - you ain't heading anywhere.

Lex

[shyguy626]

yea we broke up i couldnt do that to him nor me so..im gonna start fresh
i guess i learned my lesson