Do homophobies actually know a LGBT person?

A lot of them claim to even have gay people as friends. And then they go on to try and argue that just because you have gay friends doesn't mean you're homophobic.

There's a difference between knowing someone who's gay and actually being friends with them. If you're not willing to support them, you're not really their friend, and yes, by your arguments you're homophobic if you say things like "Gays shouldn't marry because they spread AIDS"

 

Which is ironic...since what better way to decrease the spread of sexually transmitted infectious diseases than by generally practicing monogamy?

 

They likely know gay people, but they likely think the gay person they know is the exception to all the stereotypes.

 

I think they might have seen a GLBT person, but they didn't put any effort into getting to know any of us. Though I won't say they're all lost causes. I had a co-worker that I've known for 5 years who was staunchly anti-GLBT. He thought that we all "made a choice to defy God" and just assumed we were all sex crazed heathens. We weren't really close, but I'd work with him 4 times a week so we somewhat bonded. When I came out it kinda blew his whole GLBT mindset out of the water. By his choice we didn't talk for a couple of weeks; but when he saw that I was still the exact same person he slowly came around and started asking questions. While I wouldn't say he's an ally now, he's softened up quite a bit. So I think there is hope, but it'd take a lot of effort on the homophobes part to let go of their insecurities to let us in.

 

The raging homophobe types might *think* they don't know any, but it's little wonder. Any lgbt will spend a few minutes with them and decide to avoid the homophobe. Thus, the potential friendship is gone. Other times, especially if it's a childhood friend or something, we just don't tell them out of fear of the reaction. Again, they continue their ignorance.

However, the promising news is polls show that having a close gay friend/family covaries with gay acceptance. This suggests that the homophobes haven't met lgbt *yet*, to their knowledge, but when they do they often come around.

 

I'm actually really glad to see this, because a friend of mine who was formerly very conservative and a fundamentalist Christian had his mind blown when I came out to him. This was a few years ago, and he said that my coming out blew away all LGBT stereotypes that his church had indoctrinated in him growing up. He's changed a lot of his views, and he's actually discovered that he's bisexual himself. He was so indoctrinated that he didn't even think about his orientation, but discovered what it really had been all along.

I think as time goes on and society becomes more educated, more and more people will have a similar experience to his. The reason I say similar is because obviously every homophobe who becomes tolerant isn't going to end up being LGBT--he was a special case. But I think we'll slowly see stereotypes fade and tolerance bloom.

 

I have 2 fundamentalist Christian friends I don't see much anymore. One is a man and the other is a woman. I've known them for a long time.

The guy seems to be very intrigued by bisexuality in general. I remember him telling me about a guy he worked with who was "very handsome" and was "a bisexual" (said with a tah-dah effect). I've always found him kind of odd and inconsistent on so many topics.

As for the woman I know, her attitude toward homosexuality, and probably bisexuality, is a squirming "Eeew, it's so unnatural."

So, I don't think he would be too miffed by those who are LGBT. He periodically brings up "I wonder if so and so (someone we know, and who is not married) is gay or a lesbian?" OTOH, I think she would be freaked out by it and, coming from a line of strict evangelists, she would rely on some passage in the Bible rather than trying to look at the situation holistically. She has a good college education but is still VERY narrow minded.