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Urgent: I need a short, clean gay joke.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Owen, May 20, 2008.

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  1. Owen

    Owen
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    I will be hosting an auction tonight for my TV Production class, and my co-host and I agreed to tell short jokes throughout the auction. I want to tell a gay joke that I can use as an excuse to come out en mass to the local community. (As in, "Don't worry, I'm gay. I can tell that joke.") I need a joke that is short, as in a few lines at most, and clean, as in you could tell it to your parents. I need it by 5:00 tonight. I have a decent one in reserve, but I need a really funny one, so that it won't seem like I told it just so I could come out.
     
    #1 Owen, May 20, 2008
  2. Trumpetplyer23

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    There's one, but is kind of stereotypical, and references Hitler.

    Here it is: What's the difference between Hitler and a gay guy? 45 degrees!

    ..um yeah, that's all I got.
     
    #2 Trumpetplyer23, May 20, 2008
  3. Lexington

    Lexington
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    My mother cried when I told her I was gay. I told her, "Don't worry, Mom. It's OK. I'm still your son."

    She shook her head through the tears. "Oh, I know that. But why didn't you tell me yesterday? I just paid a guy $1000 to redecorate my home!"

    ....again, that's all I got.

    Lex
     
    #3 Lexington, May 20, 2008
  4. JSG

    JSG Guest

    I dunno if this one are clean enough but if it's too clean, people won't mind if you say it.
    or
    Ok maybe those aren't the best jokes...

    Have you ever heard of Margaret Cho?
    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TQ04KsHNi8&feature=related[/youtube]
    XD
     
    #4 JSG, May 20, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2008
  5. Owen

    Owen
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    That's perfect! Thanks, Lex.
     
    #5 Owen, May 20, 2008
  6. Alex

    Alex
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    I like that one xD
     
    #6 Alex, May 20, 2008
  7. LOVEjames

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    xD I like the one Lex gave. As for Margaret Cho... >_> She's not terribly clean. Her new stand up, which I saw last weekend, is even dirtier than normal. xD
     
    #7 LOVEjames, May 20, 2008
  8. JSG

    JSG Guest

    I know she's not clean :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: but I find her really funny :grin: She started to get all political and boring at one point, glad to know she's back :lol:
     
    #8 JSG, May 20, 2008
  9. LOVEjames

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    She's still a little political, but she makes it so much more hilarious.
     
    #9 LOVEjames, May 20, 2008
  10. SlickyPants

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    I know I'm probably too late for the joke but I really don't get why some straight people are trying to ban same-sex marriage. I mean, if you think about it: all marriage is same-sex marriage because once your married it's the same sex every night. Night after night...

    *cue rim shot*
     
    #10 SlickyPants, May 20, 2008
  11. AlmightyFluffy

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    "I'm gayer than the holiday season."
    :3
     
    #11 AlmightyFluffy, May 20, 2008
  12. Nerdtendo

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    Three guys walk into a bar, and the bartender says "I bet you 50 dollors that one of you is gay." The first man says "No, I'm not gay." the second man says "Neither am I." The third one pulls out a photo of his old wife and says "I'm changing fast."
     
    #12 Nerdtendo, May 20, 2008
  13. LOVEjames

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    Not a gay specific joke, but it's still awesome. <3

     
    #13 LOVEjames, May 20, 2008
  14. LOVEjames

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    More. :grin:

     
    #14 LOVEjames, May 20, 2008
  15. Lexington

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    What does a gay horse eat?
    Hay-y!

    A man goes to a bar and orders ten shots of whiskey. The bartender lines them up, and the guy starts downing them, one after the other.

    When he finishes, the bartender says, "What's the occasion?"

    The man said, "My first blow job."

    The bartender said, "Congratulations! How about another one on the house?"

    The man shook his head. "If ten doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, I don't think the eleventh will, either."

    Lex
     
    #15 Lexington, May 20, 2008
  16. Paralyzer

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    HAHAHAAAAAA..... HAHA :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I like this one :slight_smile: :eusa_clap
    And I remember reading the ladel one before, very clever :thumbsup:
     
    #16 Paralyzer, May 20, 2008
  17. Blazer

    Blazer
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    Funny stuff. I was laughing a lot at the Dear Dr Laura one, because I got to a Catholic School (Hah, religion. How it makes me laugh) and we've read through the bible, and there is some very weird stuff in there. VERY WEIRD.
    I don't have any jokes though. My bad.
     
    #17 Blazer, May 21, 2008
  18. JSG

    JSG Guest

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJnmkSyU-5k[/youtube]
    Kinda lame, but still made me chuckle
     
    #18 JSG, May 21, 2008
  19. sexyalex

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    my dad is homophobic and he laughed hard when i read that to him
     
    #19 sexyalex, May 21, 2008
  20. pirateninja

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    Seriously people think being gay is a disease. Can you believe that? Imagine calling into work and saying "Sorry, can't work today. Still queer."

    Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all night. Even though that isn't my joke. And I probably told it lamer than the original. And I'm probably wayyyy too late.
     
    #20 pirateninja, May 21, 2008
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