How does anyone feel about their parents' general assumptions that . . .

They used to until I came out telling them I may like girls when I was 11/12 ish.. Naturally because I was so young it didn't go over very well and they put me into more therapy than I already was. Luckily she was the best therapist I'd ever had before she passed away. I really do owe her everything when it comes to realizing who I really am.

My mom was mortified and was begging me to never tell her parents and family members about it.. Quite sad but I was already a black sheep for not kissing up to my grandparents and siding with my drug addicted uncle so it didn't really matter to me.

My dad was only concerned my girlfriend at the time was an old guy on the internet trying to get a younger girl :lol: he's so silly.. but then when I tried to meet up with her on a summer trip we always used to take with his family over by where she lived. I let him be though eventually because he was okay with my second girlfriend that I had in high school. I think he was just worried about my safety more than anything because he didn't know her. My cousins on that side knew about my girlfriends and they still were happy and loved me even though they're really religious themselves.. Never mentioned it to their parents but my little cousin is a freaking loud mouth so I'm sure they found out. xD

 

Doesn't everyone assume EVERYONE is straight until they have reason to think otherwise usually?

Fortunately I've not had to put up with parents pestering me like that because Dad doesn't care as long as I'm happy and Mum just deals with it in her own strange way, but can you imagine sitting there as an in-the-closet teen while your parents sit there going "So son, that Robert Downey Jr, eh, bet you'd like to give HIM one, eh?"

 

My parents STILL assume I'm straight, after I've told them twice that I'm gay. My mom told me to never tell anyone and my dad has not mentioned it since. Sometimes they say things like "when you get a wife" or "isn't she cute?" or even "you should go ask her out". Until I bring home a guy, they will assume I'm straight and just "confused"

 

I feel like i have a bubble of open-mindedness at home where quite literally my atheist-democrat parents were only mildly shocked when i told them about wanting to be a guy. But the rest of my family (aunts, uncles, cousin, grandparents, ect) are close minded, and very religious (Witnesses) so i dunno. It's sort of like a dirty family secret that me and my parents have to keep (i have no siblings). But i'm sure the sh*t-storm will be fun to see when they find out how much of a sinner i am. Because they assume i'm straight. Because they believe people "choose" their sexuality.

 

Make sure you tell them you chose the fun one if the complain!

 

I guess I'm lucky in my parents never having made those assumptions with their children. I'd imagine it would have annoyed the heck out of me.

Nope, not necessarily.

 

Oh yeah...Before I came out I pretended really hard to be a guy and only dated other women. The image that I'll be a "father" and have that white picket fence along with 2.5 kids was imprinted into my Dads head for the longest of time. I'm always saying to him "look, I'm female. I may not look like it now because I'm only part of the way in my transition, but I'm going to be a woman with a woman at the end of the day. I'm not your 'heterosexual little boy' who is just confused. I'm a lesbian.". However, ever since I went to a pride fest and am refusing to date other women while transitioning he now thinks that I'm a cross-dressing gay male. :bang:

 

I am going to assume my parents think I'm straight as they have never made any references to my sexuality other than that they hope I'll find a girl who is right for me. But they only bring up the girl part when my little sister is talking about our futures and wonders what kind of lady I would marry. It doesn't bother me much but it kind of makes me a little nervous about when I eventually come out to them.

For the most part they don't really talk much about private matters such as sexuality and I'm kind of relived they don't since it would be really awkward to talk about.

 

The difference with parents is that they can become very invested in that assumption, building their hopes and dreams for a child on the idea of them having an opposite-gender partner.

 

We live in a heterosexist society. Of course people are assumed to be straight by default.

 

My mind, stop reading it!

 

My parents assume I'm straight, especially my mother. She's "fine" with gay people, but her son could never be gay.

 

This is a coincidence. You should read my latest blog entry. It's a letter to my dead mom about not being able to tell her I was gay. She criticized nearly everything I did; which made me not want to confide in her. At one time she told me that if I was gay I would not be welcome in her house. Thank goodness I had been out on my own for years when she said that.

 

It's not just my parents, everyone in my life was like that. None of them were homophobic, as in they didn't have any problems being gay, but still, they all assumed that I would turn out straight, and it annoys the hell out of me.

Even back before I realized I was gay, everyone, my friends, cousins, parents, etc. were asking me if I was into girls yet. At the time, I didn't know that same-sex attraction was possible and everyone had been telling me that there would come a time when I would find myself attracted to women, so I didn't think much of it and just said "not yet." What they don't know is that back then, I was already feeling attracted to men, but because no one ever told me about same-sex attraction (and, in fact, actively hid it from me), I didn't realize that what I felt for men was the attraction everyone was telling me about.

I didn't realize that this feeling I had for men was sexual attraction until I was 14 when someone indirectly revealed it to me. And this was, literally, the first time I had heard of same-sex attraction. I spent the next five years of my life believing that I was a complete idiot who lacked any kind of common sense, whatsoever, for not recognizing this feeling I had for men as the attraction everyone was telling me about. But now I realize that it wasn't because I was an idiot, it's because I didn't know.

Now, I'm morbidly pissed at everyone for actively hiding homosexuality from me, like it "wasn't appropriate" or some other bullshit like that. And I can't help but wonder if maybe I wouldn't have spent almost a third of my life in the closet, genuinely believing that I was a complete idiot who lacked common sense had everyone just been open and honest with me.

So, yeah, it pisses me off whenever people just assume I'm straight.

 

It can certainly be depressing when you are growing up closeted and your parents constantly make comments that presuppose you are straight, even though you have never given them any reason to assume that is the case. Unfortunately, the phenomenon is all to common out there right now; hopefully with education, parents of the future will be able to raise their kids with open minds, not presupposing what their sexual orientation will be anymore than they should presuppose what the child's favorite hobbies or activities or interests should be.

 

Well said.

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It's particularly annoying, especially if the parent makes belittling remarks towards other orientations besides heterosexuality. Honestly, people should not assume any personal things about others...for obvious reasons.

 

It's annoying. I think that's one thing being part of EC has really taught me since I notice it way more often than I used to and was probably more guilty of it myself even in the past. But not anymore =D

 

No, I assume all the hot guys are gay :lol:

My parents said they're okay with it (and even suspected it), but my mom still says things like that sometimes.

 

Everyone seems to defaultly assume people are straight. That's why any time I talk about relationships, I always speak generally. I never refer to specific genders, whether I'm talking about my self or to someone else, that's what I do.

I.E, instead of "Have you ever had a boy/girl friend?" I'd say "Have you ever dated anybody?"

Small detail, but significant