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Face of the gay community

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Carpe Noctem, Aug 30, 2013.

  1. Carpe Noctem

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    Ok I happened to watch this video:

    FEMME Gays give the community a bad rep? - YouTube

    I know most people love to hate this guy, but I believe he's got a point there.

    As a feminine gay have you ever experienced gay on gay discrimination?
    As a masculine gay do you consider yourself "less open"? Do you enjoy such kind of straight world - gay world duality? Do you have resentment towards feminine gays for giving the gay community a less acceptable face, thus making it harder for you to come out and be open?
     
  2. srslywtf

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    Honestly the guy that made that video is stereotyping/generalising/separating/isolating as much as the people he has an issue with.

    Not to mention the whole 'masculine traits are x' 'feminine traits are y' arguments...

    One thing I will say is, I've never seen a dating/etc profile that said "feminine guys only", but I've seen heaps that said "straight acting guys only"
     
  3. Adi

    Adi
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    I dunno if this counts as "gay on gay discrimination", but I was once on a gay chatroom, and my username was "LocoRoco" (after the video game). One of the people on there thought it was an Abba song, assumed I was a stereotypically fem gay, and started verbally assaulting me. Such people suck.

    It's thanks to fem gay people that the "gay community" is even a thing. A couple of decades ago, they were the ones out being gay, unlike the "straight acting gays", who were pretending to be straight and married to women. Well, at least they were really "straight acting". I can't help but cringe whenever I hear a gay guy today say he's "straight acting". Honey, if you're not fucking pussy, you ain't "straight acting", 'cause that's the only "straight act" a guy can do. The fact that you have bad taste in clothes and like hockey and cars doesn't make you the least bit straight.
     
  4. Night

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    I don't believe in masculinity vs femininity and I refuse to believe that there's a "straight world" and a "gay world".
     
  5. Adi

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    There definitely is a straight world and a gay world, culturally.
     
  6. RedMage

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    But there shouldn't be any real differences other than who one is attracted too, just like when someone mentions straight-acting Vs. gay-acting. There really should be no difference other than attraction and obviously the person to person differences.
     
  7. Adi

    Adi
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    People built entire cultures based on something like sexual attraction, which is a very important aspect of a human being. Gay people and straight people different from each other, and it's only natural that they build different "worlds", where each can feel comfortable and at home.
     
  8. Carpe Noctem

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    Uhm...If it were natural how could the Ancient Greeks live in a completely open bisexual society without dividing their world into gay-world and straight-world ?
     
  9. Adi

    Adi
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    The society wasn't exactly "openly bisexual", long lasting same sex relationships were not viewed positively, and same sex relationships between adult men were viewed as shameful for the passive partner. Men were expected to marry women and have children. Believe it or not, but contemporary Western society is the most accepting society of non-heterosexuals in recorded human history.
     
  10. RainbowMan

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    This really got me thinking.

    Yes, this guy is a little over the top with his arguments, and gratuitous use of "fuck you", but he's got a point at the same time.

    As a masculine guy (who's not entirely out), I have to say that I do enjoy the duality of being able to fit in with all my straight friends, going to a straight bar and just hanging with everyone, or being able to go to a gay bar and hang with the people there.

    As for rejecting feminine guys, I don't think that's entirely true - especially the part about not sitting next to someone for fear of being outed. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I'm free to associate with whomever I like (regardless of their gender expression), and I don't think that anyone else is going to think less of me for doing that. Maybe that's just me, though.
     
  11. byronea

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    As a bear, I have no problem with effeminate gays, however i am just not attracted to them. Is that discrimination? I don't think it is, any more than a gay man not being attracted to a woman is. We all have what we are attracted to. We can't help it.

    HOWEVER, refusing to associate with effeminate gays just because they are effeminate is discrimination. Or looking down at them because of it.
     
  12. MijSo

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    I hate this guy. Not only did he choose the worst way to deliver his message ("shut the fuck up let me finish masculine gays"), but what he doesn't realize is that he, himself, is discriminating against masculine gays. And what's with mimicking the masculine gays with a voice of someone going through an asthma attack?

    Personally, I haven't been discriminated upon before on the gay websites on the internet, regardless of the basis of discrimination. But I also know that a lot of the "fem only" gay guys aren't discriminating. I personally believe it's a matter of preference and not discrimination, kind of similar to how almost all straight men would not want a butch woman, or how straight girls mostly don't want an effeminate twink.

    This "gay world straight world" argument doesn't make any sense. You can't possibly, as a homosexual, seclude yourself from the "straight world." It's not an equal 50% gay 50% straight divide, it's more of a 99% of the places in the world are "straight places" and only 1% are "gay places." This is because the "straight places" are mostly not made for straight people in particular. "Straight" bars are not called straight bars (rarely would you see a sign saying "straight bar"), because they're not specific to anyone. Aside from major cities in Canada (and I assume other gay-friendly countries), gay bars are non-existent across non-major cities in Canada. In the whole province of Newfoundland, there is not one gay bar. Instead, Gays are prominent in the so-called "straight" bars, which I think is great.

    That aside, I do not deny the fact that I want to fit in the "straight world" if you want to call it that. I just don't like the idea of secluding myself in one environment. I would definitely enjoy going to gay events and what not, but I wouldn't want to live in an exclusively-gay life. You can compare it to how a person of different background in a multicultural country would enjoy participating in cultural activities, but wouldn't want to live his whole life secluded from people not belonging to his nationality.
     
    #12 MijSo, Aug 30, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2013
  13. biggayguy

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    Humans live on one world. There are straight communities, gay communities, white communities, black communities and so on. It's the same argument they made about light-skinned blacks passing for white to enjoy white privilege. This just proves that we need to stick together and treat each other kindly.
     
  14. Night

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    I don't sit at home with my same-sex partner in my gay world, and when I go to the grocery store I don't enter the straight world.

    The thought that people believe in there being two separate "worlds" for straights and gays is laughable because it's just so ridiculous. I don't mind Chris Crocker, and I kind of enjoy him, but him suggesting masculine gays can switch back and forth between the two "worlds" is idiotic. Yet another reason why I'm glad I've distanced myself from any real life "gay community".
     
  15. Carpe Noctem

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    "Straight acting only - no fems!" is more of a preference than a discrimination, even though the fact that everyone shares this preference and no one has the opposite is kind of discriminating. Think of a straight people meeting website where every profile said "white people only - no blacks!" .. if a small group of persons said this it would be just a preference among others but if the whole website has this it means it's racism no? That is what the commenters are trying to say.

    The guy in the video though is not talking about the "Straight acting only - no fems!" line. He is talking about the "Why is it that in movies a girly twink always plays the gay guy role? Why are feminine people the face of the gay community?" line. And he is ranting about masculine gays complaining about femining gays spoiling the word "gay" with their girlyness, while they are not doing something themselves to change this stereotype, instead they enjoy enclosing themselves in their closet, because this way they can enjoy the duality of being accepted both by straight AND gay people, whilst feminine gays are eventually forced to come out because they can't hide it and they're discriminated either way.

    Now about the "gay world" / "straight world" thing, it's just words he's using to show how gays act differently when in a gay meeting site, or in a gaybar surrounded by gay men, and act differently when out in normal bars, at work, or at a local restaurant: Everyone acts differently. You wouldn't be staring at a cute guy in a "straight world" restaurant but you wouldn't mind doing so in a gaybar. What the guy in the video is saying is that masculine gays act WAY too differently in "straight world" places compared to "gay world" places, and they enjoy being socially accepted in both, BUT in the end they complain about how when a person hears the word "gay" they think of the girly twink stereotype, still they prefer hiding their sexual status when in "straight world" places so they won't get discriminated like feminine gays do.

    He's just saying his opinion in a rude ghetto queen attitude kind of way, and he ends up missing his own point.
     
  16. Colours

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    There's always going to be a difference. He has a point, but he doesn't realize that there is also difference and hatred among several "stereotypes" in the straight world. He puts it like all straight people are friends and get along great. That's not true.

    My experience in this is that, well, there's been guys I've been out on dates with or hooked up with but before we did, most of them would ask "Do you act gay?" And when I say something like "No not really" mostly they'll say "Good".

    I do kind of recognize what he's saying about masculine "gays". I myself am pretty masculine and I enjoy going out with straight people without getting the "Wow he's gay, what's he doing here" look. I fit into both worlds, so to speak, mostly. But he depicts it like people like me would be hating on the feminine gays, and I don't necessarily do so. To be honest sometimes, over the top-femme guys make me cringe, and I don't know whether that is self-hatred or non-acceptance, but I do know that there's always going to be (types of) people who you dislike. He shouldn't go around saying that all gay people should go hand in hand with each other because in reality, it's not like that in the so-called straight world either.
     
  17. Carpe Noctem

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    An example of gay on gay discrimination is this guy in my school who would put on light make up and post statuses on faceboοk saying he's "looking for his prince" and stuff... Not even necessary to say he would get bullied by all the straight guys, but EVEN the gay guys would come up to him and tell him that he's giving them a bad name, that he's a gay GUY not a GIRL and such stuff.
    The thing is the gay guys would tell him these things anonymously on the internet, so it's probably guys who don't want the world to know they're gay. So what Chris Crocker is saying is that such gay guys, instead of complaining anonymously to the feminine guy should just come out of their closets, stop posting anonymously, and let the world know that not only girly guys are gay.
     
  18. Tightrope

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    Interesting thoughts. As for more feminine guys, I've been exposed to some who can throw out some good doses of venom, probably as a function of some anger issues, and some who are very kind and considerate, so the point becomes their personality more so than their traits and general style. As for ultra masculine guys, some of the ones who pass and have movie star looks, even if they have a more regular job, are people you wouldn't want to know.
     
    #18 Tightrope, Aug 30, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2013
  19. lukeluvznicki13

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    I agree with what you are saying :slight_smile:
    It is just relationships and who people are attracted to really, nothing more, nothing less.
     
  20. Hrantou

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    The guy has a point but he really doesn't know how to talk about it. The whole video just sounds like a rant and its kinda hard to talk about it when the guy tells us to "be quiet masculine gays" and "fuck you" and gives us the middle finger...but I still get his point.

    Honestly, to me everyone is just different. There is feminine gay, there's masculine gays...there's all types of gays! From gay football players to gay drag queens. Every community has different parts of it.

    Yeah I've seen the hate some gays give to the feminine gays, but its not just a gay problem. Some black people discriminate against the "darker" black people. Some mexicans discriminate against other mexicans. Some white people discriminate against the "hillbillys"

    Honestly, I don't see a fix for the problem other than more understanding and acceptance. Its not just a gay problem. Its a human problem.