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Can you forgive homophobes if they are elderly?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by GingerGuy, Aug 30, 2013.

  1. GingerGuy

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    Let me explain myself: I hate homophobia, along with all types of discrimination. Why would I support something that wants to destroy me? However, I dont actually feel hatred towards a homophobe when he or she is in old age. If another teenager called me a fag, I would just punch him in the face. But when it comes to old people, Ill just ignore it, because I understand the society they grew up in.

    If you are 80+ today, you grew up in a time where being gay was a crime, and n one would ever think about same sex marriage. This topic was avoided from all conversations, and children bullied one another for it without even knowing its meaning. A lot, but not all, of it has changed, but when the change occurred, these people were already old, with their personallity already formed and with the ideals they constructed throughrough their lives firmly places. In their age, its VERY difficult to change the way you think.

    The teacher I like the most said homophobic slurs in classroom this year. Hes 70. Since I know that hating him for it wont be good to me, I decided to just forgive it and move on. Hell never need to know about me. The same goes to my grandparents, whom I simply dont plan to ever come out to. Im not saying Im ok with their beliefs, but they are more understandable and tolerate than a 20 something asshole saying that gays should rot in hell.
     
  2. gordilocks

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    nope, they're still shit.
     
  3. Wells

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    I get where you are cominh from but in my eyes they're still as bad :frowning2:
     
  4. Tightrope

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    A lot of elderly people have broken or low functioning filters.

    I can tolerate an older person with a not particularly hateful "I just don't get those people" delivered in an ornery manner more so than I can tolerate a middle-aged or young person who reads the riot act from the Bible. The elderly people are just being stupid, but the so-called religious people are being judgmental, which is not within their purview.
     
  5. Amerigo

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    they'll be dead soon, don't worry about it, they're simply a product of their time
     
  6. BookDragon

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    When I was in school calling someone gay was the highest of insults for much the same reasons, that doesn't mean I'd excuse it from someone my age.

    The thing about morality is if you can't justify your position on it properly then it means nothing. "That's just how I was raised" is nowhere near an acceptable justification for something, elderly or otherwise.

    If its something minor you would let other people get away with like saying its a bit weird or something, then fine but if they are going to sit there telling you you're wrong for it then they are getting an argument. As far as I'm concerned being old doesn't get you a free pass to be an arsehole. But maybe I'm biased since I don't buy into the whole respect your elders thing without a damn good reason...
     
    #6 BookDragon, Aug 30, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2013
  7. Hexagon

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    Not really. It seems almost insulting to suggest that someone is incapable of changing just because they're old. I've met plenty of accepting older people, and incidentally, my grandmother has been accepting of gay people for more than forty years. I've met others who have changed more recently as well. I'll point out homophobia in elderly people just as surely as younger ones.
     
  8. Britishskittles

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    hating people for hating you does nothing so I try not to dislike anyone based on their beliefs, I can deal with anyone of any age who just don't understand gay people and truly believe that we choose to be this way or that is wrong and say it generally not in a insulting way I can deal with because they just get those beliefs from not understanding not because there horrible people, however if someone new I was gay and came and spit in my face or said something directly mean than i might find it easier to hate them but i don't know because its never happened to me and try not to dislike anyone
     
  9. SomeNights

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    If an elderly person said something, I probably wouldn't care. Once again, because they are just products of the society they grew up in, but more so because of the simple "what am I going to do about it?" factor. Plus I kinda feel sad in a way for someone who can't just accept people for the way they are.
     
  10. Lindsey23

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    I'm definitely more forgiving of the elderly. They grew up in a different time and their beliefs have been shaped by that. It isn't entirely their fault.

    This question reminds me of the time I found out my grandma was racist. We were talking about different ethnicity's and she said she didn't have a problem with anyone, unless your black. I thought it was a joke at first but she wasn't joking. It took me a while to get over it but I do forgive her now. And anyway she's passed on and the younger generation is far more tolerant. In so many ways. So in a way I think it is a positive sign about how much society has changed for the better.
     
  11. BookDragon

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    Problem I have is that since this whole 'respect the elderly' thing is pushed on the young people they listen to things old people say and parrot it. One time my grandad said something about "the nigger in the wood pile" (I still have no idea what the hell that means) but my younger cousin started going around using it. He is still under the impression that the things granddad says are fine because he's old and its just funny when in reality he's just a damned racist.

    Just because it isn't there fault doesn't mean you should let them get away with it. Even if it's just saying something like "Dude grandma, you can't say that!" it's better than sitting there and saying to your children "Kids, grandma can say that because she's old!"

    "Maaan I can't wait to be old so I can say whatever I fuck I want!" "Don't swear Jimmy!" "Sorry mom!...if I was 80 you wouldn't be telling me off *grumble*"
     
  12. Adi

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  13. Matty1994

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    I don't see why I should forgive them why the fuck are we all pushing for equality in society if we'er just going to say "oh it's ok they can be homophobic because they're old" the thing is there are old people who aren't homophobic so why should we let the one's who are get away with it.
    This actually reminds me of something that happened at work. I have a part time job in a supermarket and where I live there are a LOT of old people (one of the reasons I'm glad to be going to uni). Anyway I was serving people at the checkout and there was a guy around 20 who looked and acted like the stereotypical flamboyant gay person a lot of people think of. Behind him were some old people (mix of men and women) they were quietly laughing and making comments about him, which I could still hear not sure about this other guy. When he had paid and gone the old people came along openly commenting about him and obviously expected me to make the same remarks with them. Although I didn't tell them I was gay, I sat there arguing with them for 5-10 minutes, was considering not serving them, but thought I would express my disgust with them instead. I still wonder if they complained about me haha.
    Anyway, that situation really did piss me off I don't even know if that guy was gay but just because he looked and acted like he might be these old people though they had the right to act like that. Every time I see any of them now at work I still have a good old argument with them (unless there's a line). So my answer is no being old doesn't give you the right to be homophobic.
     
  14. myheartincheck

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    I don't resent homophobes of any age. I feel bad for them because happy people don't feel the need to hurt others.

    Although I'm of the opinion that, as others have said, the elderly are a product of their time. Honestly LGBTQ rights are very recent and we're lucky enough to live in a time where it's tolerated for the most part. We aren't burned at the stake for it or sent to psyche wards, so I'd rather count my blessings...
     
  15. malachite

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    I wouldn't say forgive as much I would say they're views are outdated.

    I've had it out with older people before and it's like arguing with a child.
     
  16. unknown17050

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    This right here, also represents my opinion on homophobes who are elderly.
     
  17. Colours

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    It's been a taboo all their lives, only recently has it become more 'common' and accepted. They don't know any better. I can forgive them.
     
  18. Hexagon

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    I should mention that I forgive all homophobes, regardless of age. I just don't let homophobia go without a lengthly argument.
     
  19. Hrantou

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    No. One of the points of being human is that as you grow and get older, you learn things. You see and hear and as life goes on you get a greater understanding of the world around you. They however, chose to stay stuck in the past and hate gay people for who they are.

    So no, I don't forgive at all.
     
  20. MerBear

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    Homophobia, who came up with that? anyways

    Look, if someone is disgusted with homosexuals then let them. I'm going to respect their beliefs regardless of what they believe

    Unless, they are verbally harassing you or physically assaulting you or someone else because of their sexuality then please, don't bitch about it.

    People need to get over it ...honestly,....look, if its a stranger ..and not a friend, people shouldn't worry about it. I'm not going to bas anyone but a lot of people in the LGBT community constantly throw "homophobia" around like its nothing and it really annoys me because people have their beliefs and just because you don't share the same beliefs or opinions doesn't mean you should have the right to be rude back or talk bad about them.

    "an eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind" - my philosophy.

    You should only dislike a person because of how they treat you/other or of their personality. Not because of what they believe in.

    if they believe homosexuality is a sin then let them, its not homophobia and a lot just piss me off when they say that. its what they believe in ...or how they were raised so you should respect that.

    I mean, it doesn't bother me so it shouldn't bother anyone else unless they are harassing you or others because of your sexuality

    but this 'homophobia' is just bigotry that should be either ignored or handled with care or just a simple belief that should be respected and left alone.