Hey, EC. So, college starts for me in a month. I'll be enrolling full time at a community college but will, for the time being, be living at home until I'm financially stable enough to move out. Now, though I will be living at home, I am considering the possibility of beginning my college career as being openly transgender. Because of school policy and state protection laws, I shouldn't conceivably be running into any issues with my gender identity and being able to use the correct facilities, name/pronoun recognition, etc. I'm hoping to get in touch with my advisor and see what can be arranged. The one issue is, I live at home and I'm not out publicly. My original plan was to wait until winter term at the earliest before coming out to family and begin living openly as a man. But there's something about being in college that marks the beginning of a new life and I'm ready to leave the lie of my assigned gender behind for good. But still uncertain, partly because I'm worried I won't pass well on campus and am worried I'll do myself in and be outed unintentionally. So, yeah. Either I keep hanging on until winter term or later before finally coming out and making the necessary arrangements on campus or I can come out now and deal with a double life before finally revealing the truth to family. I still plan on spending my fall term, regardless, getting in touch with my GSA and trying to build support, however possible to prepare for the day when I do decide to come out. Any ideas on what to do? I'll be emailing the advisor and professors soon, as soon as I figure out what my plan is. Thanks. Any help/feedback is appreciated.
I'd advise you be a guy right from the start. Walk in as a guy, give Byron as your name etc. There are multiple reasons. Firstly, the image people form of you in their head the first time they meet you is likely to stay with them forever. Even if you plan on telling them you're trans, you'll still be seen as a man. Also, from personal experience of beginning transition at school, as in, being known as I was before, then coming out and telling everyone I'm a guy, that leaves you in a vulnerable place, and assholes tend to take advantage of it. So that brings me to the question of passing. If you don't pass now, you can learn to pass better. You can look up guides online, ask us for tips etc. Try to build muscle to get a more male bodyshape. Research difference between male and female voices (its more than just pitch), research behavioural differences etc. I've never been outed, and I went stealth a year before I got hormones. People are amazingly unobservant, and honestly its usually easier to pass that you think. If you haven't already, get some of your documents changed. But basically, make sure everything is arranged before you walk in on the first day.
Yeah. Okay, so good. Figured the sooner I started socially transitioning, the better. I'll be getting in touch with my advisor and the campus Affirmative Action to see what can be arranged in order for me to get the needed paperwork and whatnot dealt with along with emailing professors to ensure the correct name/pronouns are used. And yes. My voice/presentation are my biggest concerns at this point. Just can't get the voice down, which as you can imagine frustrates the hell out of me. So yeah. Well. And the hair, always a fucking big deal but I'm in college, right? And if I'm a lesbian at home, short hair's practically the lesbian uniform. So yeah. Part of it's probably just my paranoia about not passing/getting caught, etc. Thanks, mates, will keep it all in mind.
