I've recently heard about neutral pronouns like "ey" or "ze". Do you use them? If you are genderqueer or gender-neutral, do you prefer them? In my native language there is not even something like "they", so i can't imagine something similar being used.
Honestly? I can't stand them. Ran across someone a few years back that insisted on using them for everyone, even if the person declared they'd prefer him/he/etc or she/her/etc. Then the person would attack people if they didn't use the pronouns, both publicly, and on a little blog they ran where them and their little lackeys would continue bashing them. Max I use is they/their/them.
I use them for genderqueer people. "They" and "their" can be used as singular pronouns, but their indeterminate (I think is the correct term), anyway, they're used when the person's gender is unknown, rather than neutral.
I generally just use "they" unless someone asks for something specific, because there are far fewer people who know about dedicated gender-neutral pronouns like "xe" and "zhe" than there are people who understand the singular-"they". As for myself, I appreciate it when someone goes to the extra effort of using "they" or something non-gendered, but I care much more about my identity just being acknowledged. Hearing someone say, "He identifies as agender," is much more reassuring and validating than someone just using "they" to refer to me.
I use it when the person identifies their gender as non-binary. For myself, I'm usually okay with "him" because I don't want to confuse people more than I was while figuring out my gender.
I avoid them (not the people, the pronouns :icon_wink) . "That book belongs to this person here" (instead of to him or her). "That person walked away" (instead of he or she). If it is someone in my proximity, I guess I would know which gender that person identifies with and address accordingly. Or use what that person suggests. If a stranger wants to attack me over pronouns, I walk away. Not worth my time.
I'm not hellbent on what pronouns people use with me, as long as they aren't female. Ze/hir is ok. I think they/them is much easier. And I use they/them with other nonbinary people unless they prefer something else...
Where others are concerned, I am very firm about everyone using whatever the individual in question prefers. If I don't know (or have any doubt at all), I ask. I am completely comfortable correcting others who mis-gender someone. In my opinion, it is not up to someone to decide how another person does or should feel, and that includes about pronouns. For myself, I'm currently trying out a singular they. I'm at a women's college, so everyone is super wonderful and eager to learn and polite, making this possible. However, they doesn't quite feel like home. I'm not sure whether that's because it's still quite new, or whether I'll soon wind up with something else. I do know that she doesn't quite cut it right now, and he is just wrong for me. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, I am still so, so happy every time I hear someone get my pronouns right. It feels so wonderfully respectful and affirming.
