Your Childhood Question

It'd be helpful to know what is defined as childhood in this instance. In my life so far, certainly all 3, but...

EDIT: Alrighty. Hm...

I've actually only ever had B (Social anxiety) under the age of 13, kind of as a constant, even when I was way younger, like 4. In my teens I've gone through A, B, and C. I didn't know I was gay until about 5 years ago, and I also don't think it lead to my social anxiety as a kid. As for being depressed as a teen... being gay contributed greatly.

 

A. Since the day I was born.
B. Asperger's, social anxiety, depression. Since I was first born.
C. Ages 7, 10, and 14

 

Well I am still 14 years old but so far this is me.
Present: Depression, PTSD, Rape Trauma Syndrome, Glossophobia (spelling?), OCD, Anxiety, very low self esteem
Beat: Anorexia, Bulimic Tendancies, Self Harm

 

I've had all 3. Low self-esteem, depression and social anxiety started around the age of 6. I would abuse myself by slamming various body parts in doors; the cutting didn't start until I was in High School. I was born with OCD, so that's been with me all my life. My first suicide attempt was in 5th grade when I tried hanging myself out in our garage. After that I tried suicide again a total of 7 times between then and my Sophomore year of High School.

 

Yay, I got 100% on this quiz! I had (and still have, to an extent) A, B, and C! What do I win? ...A lengthy stay in therapy? Ummm, ok, seems fair.

I have been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and depression, and I believe I've also always suffered from OCD, Separation Disorder, and probably a form of high functioning autism. I also have a mild dissociative disorder, often brought on by emotional trauma, known as depersonalization disorder.

I've always had low self esteem, with all of the above having a lot to do with that. Add on the fact that I'm a third born out of four, was lost in the shuffle, didn't get a ton of attention, and was essentially emotionally neglected for much of my youth, and I'd say that self-esteem pretty much had no chance to develop. I've had suicidal thoughts and fantasies since I was 5 or 6, and possibly even younger.

I believe being gay and more docile or feminine than the other boys had a lot to do with me not fitting in and feeling bad about myself. I used to think I didn't know I was gay back then, but I think I had already subconsciously figured it out, because I kept waiting for this switch to flip in my brain where I'd suddenly take interest in the girls, lol.

 

I was diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and panic disorder when I was 15, but my symptoms began when I was 8. The only time I ever tried to commit suicide was when I was 11. I was too young to understand how bad of an impact it could be on the people around me. I just know that I was having a horrible panic attack, and I wanted it to end. My low self-esteem began when I was 12. It went away when I was 13, but it came back when I was 19. Now I feel like I'm pretty confident, and my conditions are almost completely under control.

The root cause of everything is definitely from my past and being around my dad.

 

I've had low self esteem through most of my childhood and only recently started getting over it around 13-14 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD for my entire elementary school life but never took any medication and it fixed itself (If there even was an issue) I was never suicidal however so I'm thankful for that I guess.

 

A) I've had it since high school. Its better now, but now its just who I am. I'm not that great, or smart, or will ever feel loved, but I accept it and move on. You can call that low self esteem if you want, but if I didn't accept it as fact when I did, I probably wouldn't be making this post right now.

B) Depression is the big one. Throughout high school I was all pilled up from meds because I was labeled early as "depressed" Also, I was diagnosed with ADD, but nowadays they don't really apply to me anymore.

C) Many times. I tried twice in my life to kill myself, and both times I went halfway and stopped. It was all for many reasons that I'm sure I don't need to go into, or I'll write a essay for a post

But I should say, that despite all these diagnoses and pills and all that, these days I'm very happy. I've moved on and accepted who I am and my past and nowadays I quite enjoy life. I want everyone to be happy

 

Are you sure you're not my long-lost twin? I remember how everyone would beg me to stop hurting myself. My thought process was "I'm not hurting myself. I'm hurting this strange man that's keeping me prisoner in his body. None of you will let me have the life I want.". I remember my childhood therapists trying to "read between the lines" and picking apart pieces of what really was wrong with me. After awhile of being told what was my real problem was it was like "why am I even trying?". When the wrong puberty hit I took a nosedive into depression that lasted until college. God those years sucked. *sighs*

 

My twin sister has social anxiety. Sometimes she has a hard time going places by herself because she's afraid people will judge her. I always tell her, "No one is judging you. They will only judge you if you give them a solid reason to. And if they judge you for no reason, then they're insecure. Everyone puts their pants on the same way."

Trust me. This is coming from someone without social anxiety. If someone walks up to me and starts to stumble over their words because they're nervous and have a lack of social skills, I don't ever judge them. I know everyone is different. I'm extremely outgoing and I honestly don't give a crap what people think. So why should you?

 

All of the above. I struggled to keep my true self hidden for a very long time, because I wanted to make people happy. I didn't think anybody would accept me, so I put on a fake face and tried to be the person I thought they wanted me to be.

The social anxiety, the depression, and the suicidal thoughts were just part of a greater underlying issue. That issue being Gender Dysphoria. One day I'd just had enough and couldn't handle it anymore. I had a breakdown in front of my mother and told her everything. Now she's actually helping me, and taking an active role in helping with my transition.

The rest of my family knows, too, and they're all being very supportive. All in all, I'm doing pretty well, now. I've even gotten over my fear of talking to new people, somewhat.

 

A and C for me. Mom and dad were too busy to pay attention to B, but oh are they now paying attention. -_-

 

I've been lucky to only really go through just B (OCD), it first started its worst at 10, when I obsessive over thoughts of death and dying, what happened when we died, what would happen if people I knew and cared about died, I kept worrying but couldn't do anything. I had to go to a therapist for the next year. I've dealt with very minor obsessions and compulsions since, and the death obsession eventually stopped. Recently though I start getting major anxiety if I don't work out everyday (it's become a compulsion) and I obsess over whether or not I still have the muscle that I've worked so hard for. It's still there, and I know taking a day off won't undo everything, but OCD is irrational, and it's anxiety is relentless if I don't do what I feel I have to.

 

A) Since I was eight

B) Possible Asperger's since early childhood, social anxiety around age ten

C) Puberty (approx. age 13/14 when suicidal thoughts got a hold on me)

 

A.) Somewhat. Mostly more frequent in my teenage years.

B.) I'm a bit high strung, despite appearing pretty mellow. I had my first (what I now know as a panic attack) at the age of about 11. I still remember the day, who was there, and what happened. I checked myself into the local ER because I was depressed. Was about 13. Was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder; I remember they (the staff) were trying to rule out Aspergers' and ADD. If they came up with anything else, I don't know about it.

So I'd say, possibly, anxiety/rumination and mild depression.

C.) I wasn't ever really suicidal to an extreme extent, while I've pondered the thought from time to time I don't have the capability to go through with it. First time I thought about it was thirteen.

 

A) Always.

B) Social anxiety and depression confirmed. My mother would always say I have Asperger's and had all books about it, though I don't know if I really had it.

C) Sometimes, though I think I've had far more suicidal thoughts as a young adult than as a child

 

All three. Low self-esteem and social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I'm 99% sure I also have OCD, but haven't ever been diagnosed. Depression for a few months every year for the past few years, slightly suicidal at around 14 and 15 (but never attempted it, just thought about it). This thread is depressing :icon_sad: