My thoughts, that i want to share, about secrets people hav

I think so... As humans, we want to be liked, so tell good things, but keep bad things to ourselves. BUt we're also naturally sociable animals, and tend to like to share problems, especially women, so keeping secrets is hard xx

 

Yes. Expressing ourselves is in our nature. We want to connect with others, we need that to feel whole. We need people to know the real us and we want to know the real them. That's why friendships are so important. It makes us feel more alive.

Not everyone can handle our secrets. As far as sexuality goes, there is a very real risk of rejection once you came out to someone. I know I've often felt that it's better to have a friendship with someone and keep that hidden than risk losing the friendship completely by coming out. I'm questioning this now though because those friendships are more shallow due to my secret. I feel like I'm not being genuine and I'm not sure what to do now.

 

The root of all secrets, I believe, is almost always necessity or shame. For we share secrets only with those we would share our deepest shames, our most feared (by our self) embarrassments.
We are afraid to tell others our secrets because, if they felt the same shame as us, knowing our secrets, would they not reject us? Prosecute us?

But secrets, as we all know, consume from the inside. Eat at you.
I think therefore secret keeping is not a natural instinct, but something which comes from intellect. We have no natural reason to keep secrets. We first need to understand why something must be kept hidden, sometimes from ourselves. But we are not always willing to except the true reasons, me thinks.

Just my thoughts. Not completely on topic, sorry.

 

Some things we don't reveal under the guise of "It's not their business," "It just seems rude," and so on. Sexuality is a big part of our identity though, and it's hidden almost entirely out of fear. Otherwise it would just be like you say, talking about someone we like of the same sex, like it's nothing. In a world free of judgment, it would be expressed to the point no one is closeted.

At first it might be shame as well, but that we can control more than others' reactions. Fear of loss is very real. A lot of people come out and might get a positive reaction, but then there's that 1 friend or parent they lose. When you consider all the stress that goes with it - panic attacks, "suffocating," general anxiety - it stays a secret out of fear that something even worse will happen. At the same time, coming out can be just as significant a relief from all that. Even if the reactions are negative, it might be worthwhile.

Every family, maybe every person, keeps something hidden - an affair, bad grades, medical issues. But it's not always overwhelming, depending on a few things: how easily you can keep that secret or turn your mind away from it, the possible consequences for getting caught, and how it limits one's life. It's very difficult to live freely in the closet and it's routinely on the mind.

 

We are social animals and in earlier society to excluded from the "herd" would be a horrible sentence for that individual so to day we work with the same mentality. We keep what society deems unexceptable to ourselves to better fit in. Its based in survival instinct really...

 

Yeah this is all pretty obvious stuff. However, I actually contend that the idea we are 'social beings' is the reason we keep secrets.

We develop strict ideas about others expectations and what is socially acceptable. Anything that could damage our standing with others becomes secret because we value our social connections and don't want to ruin them.

 

We also keep secrets to keep from hurting others. "Gee, that really does make you look fat." for example. You wouldn't say that to someone. There are some things better left unsaid.

 

Pretty much, I could only imagine how much less the human population would be if everyone stated how fat each other looked