1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do you explain your sexuality/gender identity to younger kids?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RainyViolinist, Sep 18, 2013.

  1. RainyViolinist

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2013
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    So today, while wandering aimlessly in the labyrinth that us my thought process, I wondered how you would explain alternate sexualities and gender identities to younger kids, like under 9 year olds. What do you guys think? I'm not really sure if there's already a thread like this, but I can't really check.
     
  2. All41

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2013
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Love is love. Unless they're raised by bigots just tell them you're attracted to the same gender. I'm sure they'll understand
     
  3. chercheur

    chercheur Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2013
    Messages:
    432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Eh, kids are naturally open minded. Aand, more perceptive than you'd think. My little sister told us she knew our older sister was gay when she was 8. She's 11, now, and she loves our sister the same, and absolutely ADORES her girlfriend.

    She reacted the same way to finding out I liked guys: indifference. I know she won't mind if I bring guys home, and I'm sure she'd love them.

    There's no reason to hide this from kids. It's not shameful or "too grownup" it just is. It's a fundamental part of our identity, and they have the right to know.
     
  4. myheartincheck

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Messages:
    2,461
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    The Golden State with a Golden Gate
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just say "some boys like boys and some girls like girls" I guess. It's as simple as that really LoL
     
  5. Hexagon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2011
    Messages:
    8,558
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Earth
    I wouldn't explain my gender to anyone. I'm deeply stealth, and will probably remain so for the rest of my life. As for gender, I'd just say I like guys and girls.
     
  6. aquartertosix

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2013
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Little kids can be very understanding. I have 6 nephews and nieces and most of them are aware that "uncle Nico likes boys". They don't fully comprehend what being gay is but they seem to be quite ok with it. Maybe that will change once they become more exposed to society's prejudices.
     
  7. Colours

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    791
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    I've once had a conversation with this about my now 8-year old nephew. I told him that some guys like guys and some girls like girls. I recall he found it quite interesting.

    I think these kind of things shouldn't be hidden from kids. The earlier they know of homosexuality etc., the more accepted it will be in the future. It's simple, really.
     
  8. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    When my nieces (5 and 6) asked me why I was a boy now, I told them I had magic powers and I could be a boy because I wanted to. They thought that was pretty cool.

    My sister-in-law (their mom) is openly bisexual, and I know she'll mention that it's perfectly fine to like anyone no matter what their gender is, whenever they're curious enough to ask about it. I'll likely be talking about the subject to them also when that time comes.

    It's not something that you need to hide from children at all.
     
  9. Hot Pink

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,005
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota, USA
    I find it hard to talk about it to kids because they're never my own. If they were my own, I would be perfectly honest, but I guess I'm trying too hard to be sensitive to the way that other people raise their kids. They might not want their kids to know about homosexuality yet. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying I don't want to have some angry parents yelling at me.

    My own nieces and nephews have asked me about my gender. They realize I'm a girl now, but don't understand why I changed or if I'm going to stay this way. Their innocence is actually charming. I had to explain to them that I was always a girl and now my body just shows it. They seemed to understand, surprisingly. I haven't told them that I'm a lesbian, though. I suppose they'll find out if I ever take a girl home for Christmas. XD
     
  10. Sinopaa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2013
    Messages:
    608
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Uh...*pushes Onstar*
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I tell them to just follow their heart, love who they want to love, and be who they want to be. I see no reason to teach falsehoods about gender roles or sex.
     
  11. Aussie792

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Messages:
    3,317
    Likes Received:
    62
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've never had to, but if I do have to (I'm sure I will), I'll just explain it as it is; I like other guys. Kids aren't going to react badly if they're young. And if they do react badly, what can they actually do?
     
  12. leer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2012
    Messages:
    1,785
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    grt Manchester
    I have younger twin brothers by 5 years both found out at 12 and came to me . I didnt tell them everything of cores both happy with it sort of one still thinks its a phase thing .
     
  13. pokerface87

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2013
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada, eh
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I am a single mom of two young children, and they know that two women or two men can marry and or love each other. My twin is also transgender (female to male) and they love him so much. Kids are very smart and open minded. I didnt make it a big deal because, well, it isnt :slight_smile:
     
  14. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm not even sure how to do that, and I've been wanting to explain it to my little sister and my younger cousins. As far as sexuality goes, just that love is love. Some girls like boys. Some girls like girls. Some like both and some like neither. The same is true for boys. That much I can explain to them. However, gender identity seems to be more complicated. I'm sure I'll think of something somehow, and I'm hoping if my partner comes up sometime this year he can explain it to my sister the same way he explained it to his little cousin.
     
  15. Elf Wynd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CalElfornia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't. Its not my place to educate a child on sexuality.

    Since I opted out of the gene pool decades ago, I have no children to educate on the subject.

    Should a child ask I would redirect them to their parent/guardian for further information.
     
  16. Ridiculous

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,583
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Children very rarely have any issue understanding that people of the same gender can be in relationships. In fact if they don't know about sex and vagina+penis=baby yet, they will understand easier than anyone else.

    Usually the only time they don't understand is when they have particularly caustic parents that have already begun hammering in the whole "gays are evil" thing.
     
  17. blueberrymuffin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2013
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's like explaining any other identity to kids. They don't know the difference or care. It's when adults come and give them ideas on how to hate that it becomes an issue. There was this dwarf substitute teacher in elementary school who would eat lunch with us kids, since the other teachers were so damn prejudiced and didn't want her around. I can guarantee it would have been the same for a gay or black teacher.

    I haven't actually done this yet though, since in college i don't interact with younger kids like ever.
     
  18. clockworkfox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My baby sister was very perceptive. When she was maybe 6, she asked if I was a boy now. I wanted to tell her that I am, because she would have accepted it on the spot, but my mom cut in with a "no, some girls just like boy things".

    Some day I'll come out...
     
  19. Robert

    Robert Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,398
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    .
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Speak to them as if they were adults. Kids understand more than you think.
     
  20. Ohhai

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2013
    Messages:
    807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nottingham, UK
    To my nearly 3 year old (not that I've had to. He's 2. But when he gets older).

    Mummy loves other ladies. Everyone loves different and that's okay. Mummy likes ladies just like grandad. Nanny and mama like men, and uncle Pete loves men and women. And it's okay, because love is love. And you need to be happy.