So I was watching the Doctors today and they had a couple on with a young Gender-fluid child. The parents had gotten hate mail that was very sexual, like calling there son a cocksucker. The language of gender has slowly moved from the word "sex" to the word "gender". Wouldn't be nice to have an alternate word for "sexuality". A more representative word to remove "sex" and replace it with "love", "romance", or "attraction". The words matter. Most homophobes are hung up on the "sex". Marriage equality is important for changing the focus but we won't be there until we change the language as well.
I think this wouldn't be a good idea. There is nothing wrong with sex. Its my own personal opinion that once sex becomes less feared and hidden, society would become better, but even if that weren't true, it doesn't make sex bad. And sexuality describes a sexual attraction to a specific gender(s), not a tendency love a gender(s). We have romantic attraction for that. While the two are usually towards the same gender(s), they are two different things, and IMO, we need to respect that. It isn't usually a desire to love someone that clues us into the fact that we're queer, but sexual attraction. Yes, homophobes are often hung up on sex. But its their problem. The term sexual orientation is an accurate description of what it is - sexual attraction, and not love/romance etc. And we shouldn't change it to suit someone else's hateful stupidity. And you know, most sexual people like sex. Straight and queer. And if acceptance means we have to tiptoe around heterosexuals pretending or implying we don't have the same sexual urges they do, then its not a kind of acceptance I want.
Well, sexuality is often used as a blanket word to encompass every type of attraction, since a lot of people have matching romantic and sexual attractions. However, the word sexuality in its truest form is linked specifically to sexual attractions. Some people do already separate sexual attraction from romantic attractions and identify themselves as, for example, a heteroromantic asexual, or a biromantic homosexual. As for the case of gender, it isn't that the language has changed, it's our understanding of the subtleties of the language that's developing. Sex is still used to describe whether somebody was born as male or female, whereas gender describes how they mentally identify - again, in the majority of people, those two things are the same, hence the common misconception that the words have the same meaning, but they are entirely different concepts (one biological, the other sociocultural). However, it is clear in the case of the child you describe that the major issue is homophobic bigots conflating gender with sexuality. Just because the male born child identifies as genderfluid doesn't automatically mean he will grow up to be attracted to men.
I agree, what we should do is let them notice their hipocrisy and double standards by pointing them: " i suck cock? So what, doesnt your wife sucks yours too? If being a cock sucker is a bad thing, then any women who suck cock is bad too... Yes i suck cock , so what?, that is not an insult... Have a nice day" or at least something along that line.
Why do you think all the Christian churches run around screaming that it's disgusting and gross and that STD's are God's punishment for the way we acted in the 60's?
Good points. First, there is nothing wrong with sex. Finding it dirty is a social construct. I still think that a largely monogamous pool of people would be better, once they find their significant other, while others will continue to play the field or abstain/participate infrequently, much like we have now. I don't think that loosening up all the way to drunken orgies and debauchery being the norm would be a good thing. I'm referring to the Roman Empire, as it is often characterized. Also, thank you for the distinction between sexual and romantic attraction. While the norm, in terms of percentages, is that most people have that energy directed toward the same gender, some do not, or they do to varying degrees. Under Later in Life - Gay Dreams, I told the story of a really attractive Greek guy who said "I've lived in San Francisco ... but I'm not gay," almost at the very beginning of the conversation. Sure, I would have liked to have spent some time with him between the sheets, but I wasn't interested in a relationship or saw myself wanting to know him. Besides, with all the whacko comments he made, he was neurotic. I grew up in a household that practiced a popular religion. For some reason, I never saw sex as dirty. Partly, my parents never talked about it as dirty. If someone knocked someone up accidentally, they would just shrug and say "Oops, an accident, whaddya gonna do?" They didn't talk about them being sinners and it being premarital sex.
i certainly never wanted to suggest that sex is dirty. I am coming at this with a slightly different angle. I believe changing people views on sex is a longer road. It only would like to change the focus. It only takes one look at the protest signs from the Phelp's family to see what many homophobes are focused on. Thats why marriage equality is so important. It changes the focus. My close friend recently stated that homosexuality was just unnatural. I think that is a common and understandable feeling as I believe many gay men feel that way about heterosexual sex. So maybe changing the focus has an affect on opinions. I have also wondered how many peoples hatred is based on a bad sexual experience as a child at the hands of an abuser. Remove the sex act and replace it with a love act and perhaps we move it away from a terrible experience.
Sex is fun and enjoyable and brings couples (or sometimes even larger groups ) closer together. If you don't want to have sex, fine, but I can't see why you would want to 'remove' it from the lives of others. Besides, the human race would cease to exist without sexual activity. (Though if you're an extreme misanthrope I suppose that would appear to be an added perk.) There's nothing wrong with being sexual, society needs to get over its hangups about sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with being a 'cocksucker' either, the sucking of cocks is a favorite hobby of mine personally. :lol:
As to how far it gets taken, I don't think it really matters. I doubt most people would want to participate in daily orgies anyway. What is important is for sex to be free from all its negative connotations, so that people are free to do whatever they want, be it strict monogamy or orgies. ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2013 at 08:36 PM ---------- I know you're not suggesting its dirty or anything, but I do think it would be going about things the wrong way. It would be trying to gain acceptance by putting on a mask. I know some homophobes are hung up on sex, but it doesn't mean we should change for them. We're moving towards equality and acceptance on our own, and we don't need to do harm to the cause of sexual freedom on the way. Just take heart that all the homophobes will one day die. As for your point about sexual abuse, its possible, but I doubt it. And once again, it would be denying our own sexuality to suggest otherwise. Homophobia, though, for the most part, is a cultural thing. I don't think there would be much correlation.
