I get it. A lot of people don't know what romanticism is--even within the LGBT community, but there's a reason why I've just stopped telling people who inquire about my sexual orientation that I'm panromantic: it confuses people. Even my best friend. I told her I'm panromantic and described it as the ability to fall in love with anyone--regardless of gender, sex, or lack of sex or gender. I can become attracted to someone's mind. My friend, who is bisexual, said, "Oh, so you're actually bi?" I said no. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone but women, but I have gotten crushes on men that I have taken the time to get to know. I'm not at all attracted to their bodies, but I love their minds. Is romanticism so out there that people really don't understand? It's not just her. It's basically everyone I've tried to explain it to. I try not to let it get to me, but it clearly does because I don't tell anyone anymore. I've had lesbians call me a hasbian when I got crushes and tried to date men or they accused me of being bi--as if that could be an insult and they intended it to be. Everyone in the LGBT community says that we're free to identify however we want, but in reality I have received no end to peer pressure for trying to do just that. If it's not from being panromantic, it's from being transgender and trying to be involved in the lesbian community. Feeling and being treated like an outsider. I have even been told to my face that I can't be a lesbian because I was born male. It makes me straight, so I should date straight girls because that's what straight girls want: to date women.
I'm also a Panromantic Homosexual. I get crushes on guys and I know that confuses people. They think I'm bi. I guess people focus more on the sex part than the romance part? Honestly though I'm only sexually attracted to girls. It's confusing when romantic and sexual orientations don't link up huh? Yay someone who has my same orientation!
Yay! There doesn't seam to be very many of us, huh? Anyway, it is very confusing. I really liked the guys I had crushes on and dated. I just couldn't bring myself to do anything sexual with them. I wanted to because I had all of these emotions that I wanted to express, but I couldn't shake how awkward it was.
Oh hey, me three! I rarely try to explain my romantic orientation to people for all the reasons you stated. I'm fine with the world seeing me as gay, because my lack of physical attraction to feminine-bodied people means I would never date one, and in my opinion, that's the main use of telling the world my orientation: saying whom I'm willing to date/mate/copulate with. I still identify as panromantic androsexual (attracted to masculine-bodied people), but it's for myself. I fell in love with a girl in high school, to the point where we even kissed and cuddled (that was as far as it went before I got uncomfortable with it, which is why I'm comfortable calling myself exclusively androsexual). I had already accepted that I was gay by then, so that messed with my head and made me wonder whether I was really gay or not. It was when I learned about the concept of romantic orientation as a separate "axis" from sexual orientation that it all clicked, and I immediately knew what had happened. I call myself panromantic because I've fallen in love with a genderqueer person since that happened, so I know the potential for romantic attraction to all people lies within me.
I know how you feel. I don't bother telling people about my biromantiscism because I know they won't understand. I already know that it's highly unlikely that I'd find a girl I want to date, but if there was, why not go for it, right?
Hey, don't worry. I'm pretty sure I'm panromantic as well. Or biromantic. In any case, I'm fully aware that sexual orientation and romantic orientation are different. They're similar, but still mutually exclusive.
