My Story..

Hello, I'm Heather. I'm currently living with my great-grandparents. With whom are "major" Christians. In my case, that sets a whole line of problems. Most of my friends are either gay or bisexual, which makes them angry. They always ask, "Why can't you make normal friends?" It doesn't stop there though. You see, I myself am gay. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now. While most of my family supports this, my grandparents do not. I see her at school and at band functions. (Oh, I'm in band by the way.) Outside of school? That's out of the question. It seems so long ago that she was actually allowed to come over. (This was two or three years ago, now.) Occasionally my grandparents would find a "love letter" or her name written on my notebook.. which, I guess started their thinking we were together. Not long after, her and I were studying together at what our school calls "Hound Town".. (A place where you can basically get your homework done in a quiet place.) my grandfather caught her and I holding hands. At first, I was scared. And I had every right to be. They threatened to take me out of the school and send me off to military school. They said the most awful things to me about her and I. Like, "You two should burn in hell.." It hurts, a lot. To hear someone you love say that about who you are is.. I can't even explain it. It's depressing. Sure, I cry. I keep my chin up though. In hopes that things will get better soon. I will admit though, sometimes it's tiring having to lie to them. Or go behind their backs to see her. I want to be myself, but I'm scared to. I'm afraid they'll take me far away so that I'll no longer be able to see her again. I don't want to think about that sort of scenario, but with them I never really know what to expect. To a certain extent, I understand why they're so frustrated. There is a 3 generation gap from their time and mine. But regardless, they should act as though I'm a human being and not some freak with a disease. Every time they mention something about gay people on the TV, I always hear a horrible or inhumane comment coming from my grandparents mouths, and it just hurts. I know, you must be thinking I'm crazy for having put up with this for so long. But, I have nowhere to go. I don't have a mom. I don't have a dad. My family all live in different states. I have the option to leave, but I choose to stay.. only for her. I stick it out everyday only to look forward to what the future holds. Sure, it's emotionally exhausting. But so is band practice. (You'd have to experience it to know what I mean.) And just in case I'm not the only one in this sort of situation, I just want you to know that you're strong. Things WILL get better. It'll take time, but in the end it's SO worth it. There are MANY times when I've wanted to quite band. But, I've stuck through it for the past three years. And do you know how it payed off? We made it to state two times in a row. AND I learned more than I did in the three years I chose to stick with it. If things look like they'll never get better, just hold onto that last piece of hope. It'll get hard, believe me I know. Just keep your head up high, and smile. It might not be easy, but there are so many wonderful things to smile about. You're alive, and breathing. There are so many people out there that love you and I. (Yes, I'm talking to you reader.) I've had those days where I've wanted to just give up. But I held on to that little piece of hope and it helped me more than you can imagine. Find that hope. Whether it be a friend. A girlfriend/boyfriend. A dream. A goal in life. No matter what it is. Just focus on that throughout your life, and I promise you'll go farther than you thought you could. I may just be 16 and a Junior in high school, but I know life is cruel. Life isn't always fair. Believe me, I've always gotten the short end of the stick. But trust me, the day will come when you and I will get what we've deserved for a long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story.. and a little bit of my advice.