coming out fear

Being rejected by family and/or being considered delusional, a freak. :\

 

That ^

 

I'm out already, BUT:

My biggest fear was people becoming uncomfortable around me. Guys thinking I'd check them out 24/7, guys thinking I was friendly only to hit on them, friends stopping their sex jokes, etc. That was a legit concern for me because I picked my friends due to their personality. I didn't want to lose any of the experience because they began censoring themselves.

 

I think my biggest fear is similar to Data, being treated differently by people.

So far it hasn't been a problem but I would hate for it to do something like affect job prospects or making straight guys uncomfortable because it seems that straight guys are the only company I can find (socially of course).

 

Being treated differently. And uni friends (who don't know yet) ditching me, so I'd be totally alone in a university where I'm already pretty lonely xx

 

Me too. I have really close female friends, and obviously I don't hit on them or anything or even have crushes on them because they are like family to me and that would be weird...but I'm terrified of them being afraid to be alone with me.

 

I'm not worried so much about being treated differently because I think most of the people I know would be too mature. What I'm really worried about is being viewed differently.

 

Having to explain everything and face oppositions, because there's a group of people who just won't take my word for it.

 

I am afraid of being totally abandoned by everyone (yes i know it probably wont happen but thats my fear)

 

Some people already know, and, honestly, I am fairly certain others have an idea. But, for me, I'm most afraid of their initial reaction. The first second after I tell them, that's what gets me.

 

I'm afraid of people considering me to be the "gay friend" in that I don't want to be their friend only because I'm into guys, I want them to be friends with me. I'm fine with being the "gay friend" as like a joke or whatever, but the idea of being someone's friend solely for the fact I'm gay is somewhat depressing to me. Being treated differently, like Data said, is frightening to me also. My biggest fear, however, is probably that if I came out, people would see me differently, that I'm abnormal. I don't want to drift apart from my friends over something as trivial as my sexual orientation, I want my friends just to see me as their friend and not think I'm a different person. I'm the same as I was before I came out, you just now know that girls don't tickle my fancy.

 

I really want to step in here and say that save for 1 guy that I worked with, nobody treated me differently or felt awkward in my company. The 1 guy would always leave as soon as work got out, whereas before he'd stick around and talk guns and cars with me and a few other dudes. Honestly, guys who are *SO* uncomfortable with other gay guys around quite possibly may be gay themselves and don't like being around other gays because they're forced to think about their own sexuality. Whatever the cause, 1 out of about 20 friends being potentially unnerved about my gayness make some good numbers if you ask me!

So if anyone's reading this thinking "Oh Lord they're right this is gonna happen to me, oh my God, what am I gonna do? Gloom, doom, etc." don't freak out and what happens happens. Most will carry on with their own lives and be happy you trusted them.

After I came out to one friend (the one I was most worried about making it awkward between us), he said "Oh ok. I don't judge anyone." and then proceeded to immedietly talk about the mods he did to his car recently. Then he walked over to the car and humped it for a good 10 seconds. HAHAHA So much for that concern, eh?

 

Back when I was a teen in the 80's, I was fearful of just being myself for when I was about 14 years old, I came to be belted into for not being straight. Being bashed and raped for Jesus was no fun at all. I met plenty of people over the years of my teens who spoke about gay bashings and how they all deserve to be bashed. So that was my fear. I was a student of Martial Arts but I hate fighting.

 

I'm afraid of being treated differently than I am now. I like being treated as I am for the person I am, and sometimes I think admitting to being gay would cloud some people's perceptions of my person and values, when it really doesn't. I am also afraid of being rejected and dropped by some friends (and the prospect of being verbally abused for it.) I know most will say that they weren't worth being friends with anyway, but it would still hurt

This is especially true of some adults that I respect as authority figures immensely and have actually become friendly with. I wouldn't want former teachers or superiors, who I get along with, to stop respecting me because of my orientation. Now, I don't think many would openly do that, and if they did then I know that they're by worth my time, but it would still be painful as I've had this relationship of respect and camaraderie with them for years.

 

I don't want people to suddenly think of m4 as a freak or just looking for male attention.
I also don't want creepy guys asking if they can watch or if I want to have a threesome or something. :dry:

 

I am out but. my biggest fear was that my friends that were female would think id try to hit on them, and also thought my parents would disown me or kick me outta the house. I was also in a confused state. But one day I just came out to my mom and she didnt understand but she didnt disown me. My girlfriend and i have been together for 4 yrs now and we are wanting a commitment ceremony and now my bigger stress is if my mom will come. She is against gay marriage so im kinda stuck in a rough spot right now.

 

Being rejected by my father, making my friends uncomfortable around me cause they think I'm trying to screw them or something. Generally I'm more afraid of people who will be outwardly supportive, but inwardly will think less of me or something like that because of it.