So like the title of the thread says, I think there is a trans* person in my math class. Since I've learned all this new stuff from the internet about tolerance, gender and sexual identity, I kind of want to reach out to this person and tell them that I support them. The problem, I have no idea if this is a good idea or not. I feel like I might be invading their privacy by mentioning it. Also, I feel bad that I can't tell which direction they're transitioning in. How do I ask them which pronouns they would like without sounding nosey? Would they appreciate that I don't want to misgender them? I just want to be nice but I'm afraid I might come off as rude. Any advice?
My advice, for the little it's worth, is to ask their name and start a conversation. It'll be easy to get the pronoun right after you're given a name. Just chat about something mundane, like what you're doing in class. And don't make an assumption about any transitioning.
I would do what aussie792 said. Start with small talk, tell them your name and ask for theirs. Who knows you may have a best friend in making.
Be polite, treat this classmate like any other, don't assume pronouns or plans. Do let them share as little or as much as they want to.
Thank you for the advice everyone! I guess I was just over-evaluating the situation because I didn't even think of something as simple as asking their name! I have a test in this class this afternoon, so I think that will be a good conversation starter.
The advice you've been given so far sounds good. I'll add a couple of things. Do you suspect this person is a pre-transition or post transition trans person? Basically, are they stealth? If so, be careful. No matter how good your intentions are, you may put them in a difficult position, because a person who they don't know well knows their secret. Or are they pre-transition, and you might be in a position to support them to come out etc?
Um...I don't think they're stealth. They wear casual clothes that are sometimes form fitting. I didn't get to talk to them today; they didn't show up for class.
If you're comfortable, you could try coming out first. That would give your classmate the opportunity to come out to you if they want to and let them know that it's safe to do so.
