Do you think that most straight relationships now are mostly about ego?

Some, especially in younger people. But I wouldn't go as far to say most...

 

It's probably a tendency in young people. Not saying I know, since I've always been fairly detached from the whole relationship scene, straight or otherwise, but I would say there are plenty of genuine relationships out there as well.

 

I wouldn't really say its a straight thing...its a people thing. You could argue that marriage really is useless and serves no purpose. I mean, when you think about it, marriage is just a fancy ceremony that lasts 1 day and a piece of paper. You could easily commit to each other without any of that and be done. And some people do that. But most want the marriage. Why?

I think its like you said. Its about ego. Its like looking across the room at your spouse and saying "That's mine, and only mine, and only I can play with it." Its like saying you won and you get to claim the prize of your spouse. There's a certain label we put on being married to someone, as apposed to just getting together. But then people cheat on them anyway. Why? You'd have to ask the person.

Heh, now I'm rambling. That's just my 2 cents.

 

For young people and rich people of all ages, I'd say the trophy factor comes into play in their selection of a mate. That's about ego, I think.

 

No reason to assume that about straight relationships. After all, they're sort of what the world is built on. To say by nature they're not about love is heterophobia, and we shouldn't go there.

Of course that's not to say reputation doesn't go into it, but it's not the main drive.

 

I wouldn't call them 'fake relationships' or that the behaviours in shown in them are bad or wrong. They're just different from the sort of relationships you envisage for yourself. Live and let live.

 

No, I don't.
That's a pretty judgmental thing to ask.

 

I wouldn't say fake, but I do see a lot of relationships (both gay and straight) that seem to be about necessity, not love. That "I need a girlfriend/boyfriend" mentality that seems to flourish when we fault people for being single. Not us specifically, but society in general. I can't say they're all loveless relationships, of course, and I don't mean to insinuate that relationships sprung from the primary desire to be in a relationship are all loveless. But many seem unfulfiling.

Myself, I don't think I really have a right to talk much about love. I haven't experienced it really.

Marriage to me, though, seems to be utterly unneccessary. It denotes possession, specifically of people, a concept I try and distance myself from. But then, I tend not to see things from the romantic perspective. For others, it might work, and be well worth it, and if so, good for them.

 

I do think a lot of people are in relationships with people they shouldn't be or are happiest with, but I wouldn't say it's fake. There is a lot of social protocol in heterosexual relationships, that aren't applicable with gay relationships.

I would never be with someone I didn't want to be with at this point but I have been in the past, because it was better than being lonely, but now that I am in a real relationship where I actually love the shit outta my boyfriend and he loves me I wouldn't think anything is fake about it.

But yea, take in mind the standards of heterosexual relationships that plague them today.

Like clockworkfox, I don't really see the point of marriage other than trying to get rights that the government gives to married couples. Marriage really is a ridiculous ritual... and since heterosexual relationships all mainly move towards marriage, many relationships are hurt because of this.

 

*sigh* Not even going to bother...

 

Well, a lot of people do have a "MUST BE NORMAL HNNNGGG" mentality these days.
I think ego is one of the reasons, but not the only one.

 

I'm not saying you are heterophobic, but being bisexual doesn't disqualify you from the possibility. I don't really want to go into examples, but its certainly possible.

As for the question: the reason this could (possibly) apply to hetero relationships, and not homo ones, is because hetero relationships are the 'norm', and there wouldn't be the same reputation connotations to a gay relationship. However, I don't think thats the case. I think most, though certainly not all, relationships take place more for the sake of a relationship than any emotional connection, and moreso in younger people. Regardless of the gender of those involved.

But I don't think its really a bad thing. When emotional connections form, they form, and trying to force them isn't going to help anyone.

 

I don't think that the things you described are all straight things. Gay relationships have been proven as psychologically equivalent to straight relationships. So if there are people like this in straight relationships, then it's safe to assume that plenty of gay people are like that too. Also I think your characterizations of marriage as being based on lies are not correct, at least if you're doing it right. A real marriage is far more than a commitment to a relationship, and a real marriage involves complete honesty, full disclosure and an equal amount of give and take. I believe that if two people truly love each other, they shouldn't bring each other only good things, but share all of the moments in their life, even those that are filled with agony.

 

To me I have to agree it seems to me and it's not all straight couples or relationships but most I've seen and met seem to get together for the same reasons you listed . even with my parents they hate each other but my mom will pretend she loves my dad and for appearances my mom once threw a fit because my dad did not talk to her on face book and he chatted with other people . My dad gets mad at my mom for not mentioning him in a facebook post . My mom once both a dinning room table just so when people came over the house looked normal not because we needed it I've seen people break up over face book statuses I'm not kidding .
Another thing about weddings it seems like a lot of straight people (not all ) marry just for the wedding party they never think hmm am I sure i want to be with this person would I be happy with this person no all they care about is that big wedding party . Even my mom talks about how she's gonna spend a bunch of money planning my wedding and doing everything and having it the way she wants . Never tells me even though everyone here knows I'm a lesbian to pick someone good for me or date someone loving and caring . No it's just I'm , I can't wait for your big wedding party and we're gonna do this and that .
Then I think damn is this people think marriage is about a damn party that only last one day :tantrum:

 

I wouldn't go so far as to say 'most', but 'a lot', yes. Especially with younger people, who basically chase after anyone they think they can get...

I remember when this guy at my school told my bff he liked her, she said she liked him too and that they should start going out, even though the two of them clearly didn't get along and I'm pretty sure she decided right there that she liked him. -_-' The only reason for this that I can think of is that she just felt like she needed to have a boyfriend and this was her chance...

A lot of people do this, regardless of sexuality.

 

Well, if you mean that there is an insidious "Keeping up with the Joneses" mentality out there in society and that mate selection is often about this rather than love, respect, communication, etc., then yes, I agree with you.

Is this mentality more prevalent in cis-het society than it is in the queer world? Mmmm, perhaps. Cis-het people certainly have a lot more to gain and far less to lose by chasing the "American Dream" than queer folks, who are usually excluded from its benefits (but not necessarily its penalties) anyway.

EDIT: I swear this wasn't an old thread before I replied to it, lol.

 

To me, quite a few come off like that from what I have observed. And it certainly isn't limited to straight relationships.

 

I think this is a human thing in general. I've dated many egotistical lesbian and bi women who were just using me to have a title and then left when it was convenient for them.