So my partner and I just found out yesterday that a new group of friends we made thinks were roomates only. Were in our mid twenties by the way. We have never shied away from touching each other, holding hands or anything in front of them. Never...so I'm so confused. My fiancee joined this language group 2.5 months ago and I've tagged along occasionally. Some of us hit it off and decided to hang out. Movies, dinners, gaming and the like. Two nights ago we all went out to celebrate one girls birthday. This guy was there, totally cool and I like him, he kept poking fun at my girl and neither of us thought anything of it. Well at the end of the night, he asked if she wanted to go out just the two of them. WHAT THE HELL???? She declined then looked at me and I shrugged. We looked at one of the other guys, the one were closest to, and he just looked like "whats the big deal?" We've been asked "Are you married" and we both answered "engaged/getting married" simultaneously. I assumed they knew we meant to each other. Apparently not. Well one of the girls yesterday asked "So do you live together or close by?" We said "together" and she was like "Oh that's so nice. I never had a roommate!" and she just goes on and and on and on about how cool it is etc. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE! I mean, I never thought I'd have to keep coming out. We've known this group for over 2 months. Apparently our glaring lesbianism isn't glaring enough. Is it because neither one of us dresses masculine? Should I stop wearing makeup and throw on more flannel? Maybe my partner should ditch the high heels for some chucks! Geeze I'm irritated. So next time we see them, we have to make it perfectly clear were a couple. Oh boy...this is going to be fun.
On the other hand closeted lesbian have it easier than gays. Nobody thinks anything about them holding hands etc. Look at the bright side...
Oh my goodness, I hear you on this. My wife and I get this all the time. We're both on the femme side of things, and people are always asking us if we are sisters. When we were wedding planning, it was the worst, because we would have to spell everything out to the wedding vendors. They would ask who was getting married and we would say both of us, and they'd ask us what day and we'd say the same date and they'd be like oh you're having a joint wedding? Are you sisters? That's so nice. Eventually some of them caught on but for many we literally had to be like "No, we are together, like I'm marrying her and she's marrying me. We're lesbians." before they would get it.
Haha wow those people r soooo oblivious! I'm fem looking as we'll so I don't think people I meet think I am gay right off the bat unless I tell them of course. It sucks when it comes to guys that ask me out cuz then it makes everything awkward! ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2013 at 09:00 AM ---------- Ugh, idiots! :dry:
I've been told by friends they felt uncomfortable asking if I was with a girl in case they were wrong and I got offended (before I came out) Which is a little offensive in itself, but hey.
Yeah you'd think that would work. Unfortunately with the culture we have where people believe it's "hott" for straight girls to kiss girls or hold hands with or flirt with girls, but it's not okay for straight guys to do these things with guys, public displays of affection don't always signal to people "oh they must be together" when it's two girls.
Jeez! Those people must be blind or something. That's like a guy making out with his boyfriend and everybody sees and everybody thinks they're enemies.
People are blind. Femme invisibility just sucks. It is no better for those of us that are partnered with a Butch. People never think that my wife is anything other than a friend, because I don't 'look like a lesbian'. I walk past other Lesbians and they don't even notice me because lesbians often don't see me as gay unless I am with a Butch, like I don't exist. They accuse me of being a faker if I talk to guys. It's so frustrating. My wife and I go out and sure enough a male will hit on me when she is standing right there! It's like what don't you get? I don't dress this way for your male pleasure, I dress this way becaue my wife loves to see me in heels, and skirts, and in makeup, and she finds me beautiful, not for male perusal. I even get "'if you date a girl that looks like a guy, then why don't you just date a guy?". That is guaranteed to piss me off. Do I really have to point out the differences between males and females????? It is difficult if you are both feminine. It really is, people just think that girly looking girls are not lesbians. That two girly girls can't be together. It pisses me off to the point I have actually gone up to people and say "hey, don't you see they are a couple and together?" My youngest is Bi and she is girly, into other girly girls also. We have had long talks about this already.
It is really offensive. Yesterday we went out to a wedding, and I had on a black pants suit, but dressed it up with some jewelry and heels. My wife had on a little black dress. I thought she looked gorgeous! So we were talking with some friends and my friend's boyfriend came up and goes. "Wow you two look great. Can't even tell you're lesbians!" Seriously did he think that was a compliment? My gf just laughed it off, but I know it bugs her because that is what her mother said when she came out. "But you're so pretty? And you have breasts, lesbians are flat chested." So I know comments like that drive her insane. The only time it bothers me is if someone hits on one of us, or if some guy starts to stare like he's waiting for us to put on a show. I really get irritated if someone hits on my girl, because I can occasionally "pass" as a lesbian because sometimes I like to feel powerful in my suits, but she...well...she likes to dress like vogue may call her to fill a position in their next photo shoot I can take the comments, but...the abject staring or flirting with her just drives me mad. I like want to jump up and slap someone.
WHAT? Wait, so basically those people said that lesbians are ugly or have "flat chests!" Brb, I just have to go kill everybody who believes this shtuff, I'll be back in about 1 month. Bai.
People believe a lot of crazy things about lesbians. People who know us well and know that we are both very girly actually have asked us which of us is the man, and asked which of us was going to wear a suit for the wedding. We really threw people off when we told them we were both wearing dresses. And then we threw them off even more when we had a female attendant who was not butch at all but wanted to wear a suit just because she likes them.
lolololololol That is a new one. I know many many lesbians who are both pretty and have big boobies. :lol:
Ya, it sucks. A year ago I decided to pursue a women who I found attractive physically and mentally on first sight. We met up in a class environment three times. I would always smile and give her a lot of attention. I wore a rainbow bracelet and mentioned that I'm gay a few times to her. I then had to go out of town..but she was all that was on my mind...I knew I had to tell her directly how I felt. So I did, I told her that I think she's a catch, attractive, intelligent...all the works...I told her that I had a hard time concentrating when she was around and all these other lesbian-love things......She replied told me that she was happy i said that and ended the message with "Hugs" and some questions about what my summer plans were. I foolishly flew all the way to her town to meet up with her again. She insisted that we go to a restaurant in the evening. So at this point, I was thinking, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. The "date" went well...and she told me she wanted to see me again...we were messaging back and forth for a while then out of nowhere she mentioned some "boyfriend".....my jaw dropped at the point. I was thinking, "really? And you didn't think to tell me something like that?". Well, turns out she "didn't know" I was pursuing her in "that way". Femme + straight girl problems.
