When I made my first baby steps out of the closet, I expected certain changes to occur like feeling more comfortable and confident with myself, learning who my true friends were, etc. But this is one thing that I never imagined happening or even thought was a symptom of being closeted. Until very recently, I have not been able to cry except for very severe situations, like a death in the family (or watching What Dreams May Come lol), but now that I'm not trying to constantly be a manly man I can be more honest with myself and my emotions, and ya know what...it feels great! Has anyone else experienced an unexpected occurrence like this?
Yeah and it's weird as hell! I've had my emotions locked up my entire life and all of a sudden I'm expressing them... I scared the hell out of my best friend the other day because I was smiling for once. My mum keeps thinking I'm laughing at her because I walk in the room in a good mood! Glad to hear you're feeling good about it!
Absolutely, I noticed it especially when I was with my kids, a kind of free and easy feeling, as if I could just say what I want without having to pretend (I'm not out to them yet, but nevertheless, there is a new me they are contending with)
This could explain my inability to cry! Now that I'm pretty much out, I wonder if I will be able to cry again. Can't wait to have something to cry about, lol.
Yeah, I have the same problem. Never cry, sounds like showing weakness. But I could still feel awfully sad. If you wanna cry , Try some gay novels like 'something like summer'
I found that sometimes people appear cold or callus because letting go would be like facing everything. My father died in my arms and I wanted tears to come and fill me. I wanted a path of enlightenment in the knowledge of what to do about my loss. I started having chest pains and had to go to the emergency room at the local hospital. I wanted all of my loss to be filled with knowledge and almost died trying. So, I couldn't cry and get it all out! I felt cruel and emotionless for a long time. I agree, holding the closeted loss of the self kind of feels good when set free.
