Trigger : Is suicide selfish ?

Selfish: "(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure."

yes.

 

Depends on your situation. I've heard of people commit suicide when they have young children, that I think is very selfish. I suppose when you're that low, you don't think people will miss you, so it's not as though you intended to be selfish. It's quite complicated, and hard to give a straight foreword yes or no answer.

 

Except, a lot of the time, what finally drives a person with suicidal tendancies to actually commit the act is the feeling that others will be better off without them. At my worst, when I get suicidal, I consider myself toxic and manipulative and tell myself I ruin lives and that I should either run away from the people who care about me or kill myself so I don't hurt them.

So, for me? When I feel that way, it's just being tired and not wanting to fight anymore that makes me WANT to do it, but thinking it will benefit everyone else is what has made me get dangerously close.

So, yeah. To say it's selfish is to completely misunderstand the mind and heart of so many in these circumstances. It's not selfish. Stigmatizing people who are going through so much pain they want to end their own lives is selfish, imo.

 

No, not really. I think when one is such an extreme state of emotion, you're not thinking in linear enough terms so as to be 'selfish'. Suicides have their own language, and it often is one where words fail to communicate one's inner feelings.

I mainly see them being called 'selfish' as a way to make people feel guilty, which is the last thing suicidal people actually need more feelings of. Whenever I've been on the edge, it's never helped to hear my faults enumerated.

 

its hard to judge really - although suicide can seem selfish - especially to those around the person - it is hard to say what the person in question is thinking and feeling at the time and indeed if they are in the right frame of mind atall - when i look back to a time in my life when i was suicidal or periods of manic episodes where i have done dangerous and potentially fatal things it is almost like looking back on someone elses memories, it barely feels like me atall. At the same time i have seen lives - one of my best friends in particular absolutely torn apart by the suicide of a loved one (whose father and brother had also commuted suicide which i fear may have had an impact on him - so in the sense that it could influence others it may be seen as dangerous) and it is hard at times to forgive him and easy to see his actions as selfish - sorry for the ramble not even sure that made any sense, also sorry for general lack of punctuation.

 

Yes if you have been bothered constantly you lose hope and kill yourself to make every else feel guilty. Just my fab opinion

 

No. If suicidal people are selfish, then so are the people who want them to stay against their will. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying suicide is usually the best solution. I'm saying that when you're in that state, its impossible to see things differently, and don't forget how frequent it is for the suicidee to think people will be better off without them, as others have mentioned. People aren't to blame for their own depression. Please remember this.

 

Err... didn't we have this thread just a couple of days ago?

I think we did... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/110180-how-far-should-we-go-helping-suicidal-people.html

 

I don't think it's selfish in any sense.
Suicide is a way to escape from yourself. You feel like the only way to save the people around you is to eliminate the problem.
I mean it's never a good answer to any problem but it happens because people don't know how to deal with certain stressors in their life but telling someone who's suicidal that if they were to do it that they're being selfish that's just making the problem worse. It's making them feel like even if they were dead they'd still cause everyone problems. How do you run from that?
I like telling people who need help to think about the future, even if life is bad now just think of where you could be in even just 5 years, you could meet one person who changes your life forever.
I mean, they feel alone now but no matter how far deep into a depression someone is it will get better, no matter what. You have to go through the bad to experience the good.

 

As the intention was unselfish, so is the act, I think.

 

It really depends on the circumstances. A soldier throwing himself on a live grenade is suicide and an act of heroism. Not taking chemo when you have terminal cancer saves your family medical bills and allows you to live a better quality of life to the time left. However, many times suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

I think it's sort of selfish, but if a person gets to the point that they're suicidal, they have likely given so much and gotten no reward themselves for a long time. I would not try to talk somebody out of suicide by shame; it might just make them feel more like shit and encourage them to do it.

It should be framed in a more positive way. Suicide isn't selfish, but choosing instead to live shows immeasurable heart for the feelings of others.

 

My ex girlfriend had terminal cancer. But she lives in Arkansas and I live in Buffalo New York, not to mention I just realized that I was attracted to guys as well. The long distance just wasn't working so I broke things off with her.

Long story short, she kept me on the phone for 2.5 hours talking about how she was done fighting and was going to kill herself. Had a gun and was sitting on a tarp. Needless to say I had someone call the cops. They go to her house, she talks to them about Breaking Bad, and then they leave. She calls me back tell me that, then hangs up on me. Texts me the next day and tells me that it was a violation of her trust and she is eradicating me from her life.

My point is that I believe that suicide is extremely selfish. It is a coward's way to end things and I don't think that there is any good excuse to take that route.

But then again, that's just my 2 cents.

 

In a sense, yes, it doesn't consider others properly. But the intention behind it is certainly not. Most suicidal people I know have said that they think they're a burden to others. They genuinely believe they're doing a favour to their friends and family. It's not selfish, and it requires courage.

There is a massive difference between being so sad that your thinking is warped and being actively selfish. Suicide has terrible a terrible effect on people around the victim, but it's by no means selfish.

 

I believe that It can be. I didn't think so before, but after my friend told me he had almost killed himself without even telling me...

I couldn't help but be slightly mad that he would just leave me like that.

But it goes both ways- its also selfish for me to want him to endure life for my sake. (that wasn't the only reason i didn't want him to do it obviously)

 

No one's probably going to read this, but here's my two cents:

I think it depends on the situation.

In mine, yes it would be. I have people who need me. People who wouldn't have anywhere to go if I just left.

But in the case of a firefighter dying to get a child out of a burning house-- no.

 

I don't know, is it the loved ones making them suicidal, or maybe they (sadly) don't have loved ones? Then it's hard to make that argument. I also think we haven't come far enough in treating depression that it's always manageable. Look how many struggle for years and never get better, and may feel they are doing their loved ones a favor. It's too sweeping a statement to call every suicide attempt 'selfish.'

 

I think it really depends on why.

If you are terminally ill and you don't want to suffer and just end it so you don't die in pain, then I think you should be able to.

However if you wanna kill yourself because of a lost love, (a reason I see a lot and have experienced myself) or because you have no money or you just feel life is generally hopeless, then no. If you have plenty of life left to live, even if you feel its hopeless, then stick it out. I felt for a long time that I would never recover and my life was over because I lost a love, and a few years later I'm so glad I didn't.

My 2 cents.

 

If one does it as a way to get attention from peers, yes.
If one does it because they can't handle the struggle of life, yes.
If one does it to be reunited with loved ones who have passed on, and there are no living relatives, no.