Transpeople: A question

I want to look male and for people to accept me and treat me as one. Male clothes, haircut, binder, name... Just not sure how to go about these things. At the moment I don't want surgery, mainly because it's very expensive and hard to even get here in Australia. Not sure about hormones yet either, if I can pass without them I probably won't use them.

I'll probably tell people I'm trans, though not everyone, especially once I transition not everyone needs to know. A few close friends know that I'm planning on transition.
If my family accept me I will have the same contact with them as I do now, but if they don't I probably won't see them.

---------- Post added 10th Oct 2013 at 06:13 PM ----------

I want to look male and for people to accept me and treat me as one. Male clothes, haircut, binder, name... Just not sure how to go about these things. At the moment I don't want surgery, mainly because it's very expensive and hard to even get here in Australia. Not sure about hormones yet either, if I can pass without them I probably won't use them.

I'll probably tell people I'm trans, though not everyone, especially once I transition not everyone needs to know. A few close friends know that I'm planning on transition.
If my family accept me I will have the same contact with them as I do now, but if they don't I probably won't see them.

 

Okaay, even though I'm living as a gay boy, atm, I'ma answer this as I've been down the path of transition and may very well, again, one day.

Just my personal opinion? I couldn't handle stealth. Like I said, I may very well transition again one day, simply because the obstacles I face in syncing the male components of my personality with a female body are easier to deal with than syncing the female components of my personality with a male body (it's not really hard now, cause I'm young and femme, anyway, but would get borderline impossible as I age, which is why I feel transition may be in the cards for me, one day).

But, yeah, I'd pursue a soft transition. I'd want to look and act the part 100% and appear 100% cisfemale, buut I would have trouble hiding my identity from others. Simply because I realize I am pretty genderqueer, and there are, as has been established, male components to my identity. I would probably sort of identify as genderqueer with a female presentation, and would still be comfortable with identifying myself as a boy. I dunno. I dunno, I'd want to express myself, wholly, and stealth would come with so much repression for me.

Also, I would be non-op, soo, yeah. It would make it hard to be 100% stealth, though I think being stealth with a partner is a bad idea, anyway. Also, I'd probably only date bi guys, because of that. Plus, I would rather keep to the queer community, when dating. Which is yet another reason not to be stealth, I'm a very pro-LGBT queer radical, and I'd lose that part of my identity to just be another booring straight girl.

So, yeah, lotsa reasons not to be stealth, but most fundamentally? More pressure. Being out and proud and open allows for more freedom and freer self expression, and the haters can seriously suck my non-op dick if they have a problem with it...

 

For now, plan on being open if needed since I'm not at a point where I can go stealth (passing, just not consistently). Transitioning won't be a reality for some time. Most I can do until then is just be comfortable- deal with the hair, binding, presenting, etc.

Would like to get to a point where I don't have to worry about gender daily. Where I can just be something of a normal man, you know? I have moments like that, especially at school, where I'm just struck by how normal I feel presenting male, versus how alien I was as a woman.

 

Yeaah, see, for me, I mean...I can't get down with the poonanny, haha, even if I wanted to, haha XD. So, like stealth, it just wouldn't work, for me, even though it was what I *really* wanted, at one point (and that desire, I think, put pressure on me). I'd just have to be a genderqueer/fluid, androphile, female presenting, MAAB, queer radical, psycho-transbitch, haha.

 

I doubt I'd ever be stealth since at this point, bottom surgery sucks major balls. I've told a few friends and they're supporting, one to the point of changing what he has in his phone to my preferred name.

Over all, I just want to be seen as a, admittedly short, guy.

 

Honestly, just so long that I can feel free to express my non-gender variance in public without fear of being harassed, I'm one happy camper. I don't expect the entire world to address me by gender-neutral pronouns, or to call me by my alternative name, but if they ask, they'll get an honest answer. So I guess I'd be primarily "stealth" in that others would read me as male, but most don't really know what to do with me, anyway, so that's fine.

Even the most passable of MTF get referred to as a "he" when their transsexual status becomes public knowledge, so I'm not expecting miracles as a genderqueer MAAB.

 

So. I'm not exactly a transperson, but close enough.
Right now, no matter what I do, people have it in their minds that I am 100% one gender. Some think I'm female, others think I'm male. I'm partly glad those two groups don't talk with each other.
Either way, I don't mind their thinking of me that way, but I wish they could be more open-minded. I would tell a select few whom it concerns, but not anyone else unless they really need to know. Till later.

 

I'm already out as trans, to quite a few people. Of course, in the future, I'm not going to tell everyone I meet, but my friends and family need to know. It feels almost like I have some sort of obligation to them.

 

I don't tell everyone I meet that I'm trans, but I'm also open about it. For the same reason why I don't introduce myself as a lesbian. I talk about both things when they are relevant. This may be strangers if a class I'm in is talking about transgender people or it may be a friend.

I would never go stealth because it's like going back into the closet and living in secrecy. Never again.

 

Once I transition enough to be socially viewed as male, that's where I plan to stay. Unless it's relevent to talk about the trans thing. In which case, I might talk about the trans thing if it seems safe to do so.

We'll see I guess.

 

I'm planning on going into public activism, so no, I won't be going stealth.

Would I want to go stealth anyway? No, it'd be trapping myself into a permanent closet. I wouldn't feel comfortable. I'm already out to everyone close to me, anyway, and I prefer it that way.

 

I want to be an activist, so no stealth for me. Even then, I'm not gonna be too open with it. If someone asks me if I'm trans, I'll tell them, but there's no need for me to HAVE to tell people I feel.

 

That is sort of the thing we all want I think. To not be harassed as who we are. At my last job if I had worn anything remotely girly, purple in color, or any way beautiful I would have been harassed non-stop.

 

Wow you guys are lucky to have a place in the gay community because I have never been accepted there no matter what town I have lived and tried to fit in there. It is always the straights who accept me and where I have had to live in this wrong body. I would love to have had the opportunity to have been fixed when I was young enough to have lived a stealth life as is put here as another boring straight girl. :sleep: I guess that is who I am in reality on the inside so if I had the outside to match it would be no problem. One thing for sure, I would never be a boring girl as I am too much of a freak behind closed doors for that! :badgrin: LOL! June

 

I can hardly keep a secret, and I hate it when I'm not being myself, and I'm almost acting like someone else. So with that said, those who I do truly know already have heard me come out. In public, I try and look as androgynous as possible. It's rare in the US whenever I'm "misgendered" and called "Ma'am", but in the UK, I've been referred to as both "ma'am" and "sir" about an equal amount of times. So, yeah. There's my side of things.

 

At this point I'd love to be stealth. I wouldn't have to worry about coming out to anyone, because even the thought of coming out gives me high anxiety. Though of course I cannot be stealth because I am nowhere near passing off as male. I'm just trying to remain comfortable by binding and wearing men's clothing. I really don't want the whole world to know I'm trans, I want them to see me as me and not some label. But who knows maybe my opinion will change whenever I start passing more.

 

As soon as I have the means to do so, I will go stealth. As stealth as possible.
I act like a normal dude, but I look like some chick...:dry:
I'll have to be a transparent closet for a while.
I'm sick of being seen as a faker or a freak (I don't like how trans people are treated, but whatchagonnado?)
Besides, I don't think "transgender" is really a gender; why should I talk about it 24/7? I think it's a state of being, letting one transition to the opposite gender, and I think I should get the hormones I need in peace.