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A gay dating question.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by andrew812, Oct 12, 2013.

  1. andrew812

    andrew812 Guest

    I have been on tons of dates with women, and I was brought up with the rule that the man picks up the check on the date. Now that I will be dating guys how do you decide who pays for the date?
     
  2. chercheur

    chercheur Guest

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    On all the dates I've been on the guy has insisted on paying my way. Usually they're older and more dom, so maybe it just falls naturally into dom/sub thing? I dunno, but I don't like it. I always try to pay my own way, cause I prefer equal footing, so I prefer we split it. I don't like assuming "traditional" roles in gay relationships...if I wanted to be treated like a straight, FUCK, I'd just BE a goddayum straight girl! Y'all betta believe...
     
  3. awesomeyodais

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    Here's what the Mr Manners website suggests (amazing what Google can turn up)
    Wasn’t life easier for everyone when the guy just paid for everything? Oh, right, that wouldn’t work for two gay men or two lesbians on a date. That’s why there’s a great rule: "You invite, you pay." This is especially the case if you’ve chosen the restaurant as well as making the invitation. Also, consider these phrases as code for "I’ll pay": "Please be my guest"; "It will be my treat"; "I'd like to invite you to join me…" and "Let me take you out to..."

    Of course, it's good manners to offer to pay for yourself or contribute toward the tip, even when you know you’re the guest. And it’s wise to be prepared to pay your own way, because you never know. By the way, if your date does pay for you, remember that you're under no obligation to go out again, or to become horizontal.​

    I'll have to remember that for when hell freezes over and I actually get to use that advice :confused:
     
  4. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    The thing about being in a same-sex relationship is that a lot of the "rules" that you are pressured into following don't really exit. This can be both exciting and completely terrifying!

    Best thing to do, in my opinion, is to talk about the whole paying thing with your date! Talk about how you would prefer for dates to go. If you want to switch every so often then do that, if you want to pay all the time then do that or if you want to divide the bill then do that. Its completely up to whatever you and the person you are dating want.

    The funny thing to keep an eye on is how the waiter acts when they bring the bill. inexperience waiters will have the hardest time trying to decide who to give it to, and more experienced ones will leave it in the middle of the table. Its fun to watch the inexperienced ones haha
     
  5. LILuke

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    This is actually a pretty good "rule"

    That being said, I'm the kinda person who would probably always just take the initiative to pay myself unless the other person pried the check out of my hands.
     
  6. Depeche

    Regular Member

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    If you ask him then you pay.

    If he asks you then he pays.

    Or agree to go dutch.
     
  7. Jonathan

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    Personally, I would go under the assumption that we are each paying for our own unless something else is actually specified.
     
  8. Gravity

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    This has pretty much been the case on every date I've gone on. You invite, you pay. But, there aren't hard and fast rules for gay dates, of course.

    If you really don't want to be paid for, make sure you protest with something other than "are you sure? you don't have to," because this will usually just be taken as a sign that you want to be polite about letting them pay. Something more along the lines of "thanks, but I'd really be more comfortable paying for myself" is more likely to get the point across.