Lets be honest gay men we like to look good there is no problem with that, but weight I love being thin I will admit it I love being able to wear the clothes I adore and to look good in them. I love fitting in designer xs clothing. But I know that a lot of gay men prefer to be muscular I mean look at the gay porn stars they are what men mastubate to and desire. And the society we live in is so so judge mental now and the gay community I think is just as judge mental if not more. I just think of the immage being portrayed to the next generation these high expectations and even higher expectations for gay men. I know for me I love being thin but it leaves more to be desired, I want to be a muscular hunk has guys looking at my muscles have that self confedince you know. And I do have good self confidence but I think "if I'm muscular ill be sexier" but would that make me sexier? Maybe stronger...... I work out everyday and I just can not gain muscle no matter how hard I try, and I try. I do have some muscle now but it's not a lot like my brother or my dad. My brother and my dad are so muscular they have the perfect body and it's hard because I want that to. My mother has the perfect female body and then there is me. I have a good fit body but that's not good enough. I think the gay community portrays such a standard that's so hard to Get. And it sucks because money can't buy a muscular body. So I feel like I ranted a bit but does anyone else feel some why the same? Like there are higher standards if beauty for gay men? And have you ever felt its wrath? Like you haven't felt good enough because of these standards?
I think we're very different people but I agree with you completely here. I really don't think I share everyone else's quest for eternal self-improvement and I try to get by without making too much effort. Like, I can and do come across as a confident and happy person using, uh, my personality. But I suppose the more I feel the pressure, the more that will change. I admire the guys that are ambitious at conforming to that one, narrow image of a 'perfect' guy, but I don't want to be like that. I'm not sure if that's because I'd lose my individuality (lul), because my ambitions are different to others' or simply because I'm dead lazy. I guess there's a happy medium.
Well lets treat everyone as individuals. Not all homosexuals think the same. I'm far beyond judging people based upon their physical appearance. Life experience has told me looks are misleading. I do not let the mainstream media/society to manipulate my thoughts. In terms of my personal taste I prefer men who are well groomed, healthy weight and polite. I am in the process of pursing an active lifestyle and building a strong body. This mainly motivated for fitness reasons. I do not want to struggle physically as I get older. I am motivated by other reasons such as wanting to look smart but I do not let it dominate my thoughts. In terms of fashion I avoid designer clothes. I prefer simple plain clothes. I wear a simple black polo shirt, blue jeans and black casual shoes. I dislike many of the designers that make the clothes so that is why I avoid them.
I can say personally I have struggled with self image and still do. I will admit I take a pleasure knowing I have a tiny waist, or am underweight. Even though I am a guy and I should weigh more to be healthy, I take pleasure in being underweight. I know I have an eating disorder and it is destructive, but at the same time I feel like it's helping me stay "good looking" However to me I go back and forth with my looks the drop of a dime. I think in general we just face more troubles so we tend to be more insecure and that can manifest in different ways, so as individuals some of us have image problems, which is not only for LGTBQ people.
The Golden Rule: "If you don't like someone, fine, but don't be such a douche about it." <---- I go by that. People have preferences. You like skinny guys? That's fine. Just don't be such a dick about it. Sadly, many people* not just gay men are mean about it for whatever reason. But luckily not everyone's like that. Me personally, I don't care about looks. Overweight, underweight, muscled, heavy...I don't care what you look like. I'm not trying to date a model. Just don't be a dick.
I am gay and I will tell you like a huge percent of gay men are extremely judge mental over fashion, weight and beauty. Idk what it is about gay men and I'm not saying "all" gay men I'm not that stupid, but I don't know how else to say it maybe "majority" works best but some would still argue that and I think it depends on where in the world you are or what country and state, province you live in. I know where I live in Vancouver British Columbia gay men are extremely judge mental and it's hard to be friends with them because they always judge. I had one gay friend I met recently through my friend and he is the most judgmental person I had ever met, and I come from a family which is judgmental trust me I DO. But this guy was a real piece of work. He had the nerve to say I have ugly hair!! I know I know it's the most dumb thing to be angry over, but I didn't do my hair that day I was wearing a hat so obviously it won't look good just saying, but to have this guy judging me..... It was like REALLY? I won't lie I have had my fair share of judging people and making fun of people but after joining EC I've been taking the time to meet people for them and not their looks but for who they are inside. I know a lot of gay men love fashion and that awesome I do to but I don't know if anyone goes to Gucci, Burberry, Louis Vuitton, holt renfrew etc to shop, but the gay guys who work there are realllllllll pieces of work, I've had my fair share of arguments with them as well and I'm the paying customer THEY ONLY WORK THERE! I think and again I don't speak for everyone but "I" think that gay men try to be "le male parfait" I think I spelt that right :O "the perfect male" I think we try hard to be perfect and look perfect and I think that our insecurities that are inside we try to ignore and push aside and by doing so we judge others to forget about our imperfections, and to lower others so they don't seem like they are better than us. I could be 100% wrong on that but it just seems that could be a probable answer.
Simple: men are more target specific, in general, which is why a partner's appearance is generally so important, to guys (gay or straight). When you get a guy that LIKES guys, he's going to be naturally in tune to what looks attractive, on himself, not only because he knows other guys will be noticing, but but because HE notices, himself (cause he knows what HE likes in a guy, so tries to adapt himself to his own taste). In hetero relationships, it's usually unfairly split. Some straight guys take advantage of the fact that many women aren't *so* obsessed with appearance as men, and so many don't put much work into their appearance, as opposed to gay men. Though, I feel like these days, as female sexuality is becoming more open and freer, and women are caring more and more about appearance, guys, in general, are starting to adapt and care about their *own* looks, more.
I'm on the slimmer side, and some people are into that, while others aren't. Either way, it's never really had a huge impact on my self-esteem, and anyone who values you primarily for having some specific body type or not is probably not relationship material in the first place. Which demographics you're focusing on will have a huge impact on how acceptable your physical appearance is: for example, if I were to walk into a bear bar, I doubt guys would be all over me, so I wouldn't go in expecting that. The bigger problem I've faced, admittedly most online, is being tokenized. Guys from x ethnicity are all hot, (insert body type here) are great for (insert sexual act here), etc. Yeah, no thanks. Have you thought that maybe the problem is with the type of people you've been surrounding yourself with?
I thought parfait meant perfect? OH god how embarrassing :eek::icon_redf I always sucked at French! here I am trying to sound fancy pants
Ah, I dunno where you're looking, but it's not like that in my experience. Look elsewhere; that's my suggestion.
:lol: It does, but it's also a dessert made of ice cream and fruit and I think that's how it's usually used.
Agree. I would say that is more a product of most people you meet and befriend having money... not being gay... Meet some gay people with no money and I think you will encounter a different story...
I dare not take the idea that I am ok with my physiques. If I get satisfied with where I am now, I'll never be better Jesus, I need weight lifting..... Help .... (&&&)
