If someone uses the word faggot..

It's just a word, in my opinion.

Then again, I don't really see it as much of an insult.

Another then again, I'm just a half-dyke, what do I know

 

In some places it is used as a highly derogatory word. I just laugh and say what the heck do you want a bundle of twigs for? Or sometimes I say, thank you but I never was good at the sciences.

Faggot has many meanings. The latter was after a Swedish scientist - I forget what he did now - I think it was setting up a science academy of some sort.

Anyways - if you break down their argument they have nothing to fight with.

 

Isn't there already a tread started on this?

 

I use the word dyke and rug muncher to my friends on a regular basis. I call my wife a big ole lesbo all the time.
I think its like the N word. peope take back terms use to degrade them and use it. Takes back the power of the word I guess.

 

Nope, I am not about to give people a pass on trying to diminish the impact of a word that is still used to bully LGBT kids and terrorize LGBT people on a daily basis.

And how successful has that effort been? The fact that we still say "the N word" instead of the word itself shows it still has power. I will concede I don't think reclaiming a word is entirely impossible; I think we've managed to do that with the word "queer". There are college with "queer studies" departments, and I wouldn't bat a lash if one of my straight friends used "queer" as an umbrella term for the LGBT community. It's kinda like how people have, in a way, reclaimed the phrase "colored" and coined the term "people of color", which I see a lot of people of all races use to describe non-white people without controversy. But the n-word is still a volatile word, which doesn't making me very optimistic about anyone reclaiming "faggot" any time soon.

 

The word barely exists in the UK. And fag (but not faggot) means cigaret. What I'm trying to say is that I'm surprised you hear it so much.

 

As with many others, it's just a word. I've used it to describe myself, other gay people, and even some straight male friends that i considered real close. Then again I've had black friends, that when I was at their house I was one of their "N's", and I called them the "N" word, they did not care. They knew I was not being derogatory. I am also disabled, and walk with a limp and a cane, my kids call me "crip", and "limpy" and other things some people would find offensive, but I know they are saying it with love, so what it's just a word.

I feel if everyone that got upset because someone else used a certain word, whatever that word happens to be, but if everyone that got upset about it would all of a sudden get together and decide that they were no longer offended by the word it would no longer be used. The trick is not to make someone stop saying a word because it is offensive, the trick is to no longer be offended, then there is no reason to use the word.

 

Agreed. One of the things I'm seeing on what is now up to three threads is people basically setting situational boundaries around the word that make it OK for them to use it. While conveniently forgetting the many situations in which I rather doubt they would find it OK at all. Such as being bullied, or threatened with bodily harm or being kicked out and disowned by ones family or driven to suicide.

Unless all y'all who are so OK with the word are saying that the kids who cut or kill themselves after being called a faggot over and over and over again are just being overly sensitive and deserve what they get?

Todd

 

Although I understand your sentiments, this just isn't a reasonable statement. The idea that using the term is to make a mockery of child suicide would also then have to include making comments about weight, appearance, promiscuity, ethnicity, or intelligence. Unless anyone in this thread would like to assert that they have never made a sarcastic or snarky comment amongst friends, none of us are in any position to make that exaggeration.

With that being said, I completely understand where Owen is coming from. I would agree that it would be best if it wasn't used in general. Likewise, with other words such as the the 'N' word and Retard. Yet, I also somewhat understand the opposing side of LGBTQ and American Americans who choose to use them.

 

I rarely hear people say "faggot" in entirety, and it's usually shortened to "fag" when my friends say it. I'm nit friends with homophobes, so I am never offended when they use it. I have actually never been called a fag by them. They know I give wide boundries, but I don't think they want to overstep them because I'm pretty loyal and trusting and they would feel bad if they hurt me.

Generally, it's lighthearted play.

>I'm so sexy touch my body (then flashes my friend)
>Get off me Dave, I don't want to touch your nipple. Fag.

>I like Skrillex.
>Oh I didn't know you were a fag.

>Yeah, Tyler drives a Miata. It's pretty nice to drive.
>Is he gay? Only fags drive Miatas.

So you see, nothing serious is ever intended in the conversations I have with my friends. In that context, it doesn't bother me. I just have so many more things to worry about...

In a serious, homophobic way I would take great offense and probably end up with busted knuckles. I won't tolerate anyone bashing another LGBT person right before my eyes.

On a different note, did you guys know there's a manufacturer of bearings named FAG? They make autimotive wheel bearings and such. I was scrolling through a catalogue buying parts for my car and saw FAG listed under manufacturers. I did a double take and laughed once I realized what was going on.

 

It doesn't bother me. But then again, I'm very rarely offended by words.

 

I simply don't care. It's just a word. I've been called all kinds of names on the face of the earth and I simply don't give a toss about it.
I have better things to do in my life than getting offended over the crap others say while trying to offend me.

 

Actually, I agree with you - it's not a reasonable statement. Truth be told, it wasn't intended to be. Nor was it really conflating the use of the term with making a mockery of child suicide (not what I was aiming for).

Rather, my concern is with the mindset that first sets up very context limited situations in which the use of the term (or any term as you point out) is 'ok' and then goes on to make a vastly broader statement to the effect that anyone who has a problem with the term is being overly PC or oversensitive or the like. My point was to take such a sentiment to its logical conclusion.

The fact of the matter is that probably the vast majority of the times the term is used, it's not among friends, and its not in some context limited situation in which it is 'ok'. And so the argument that people are being oversensitive is consciously spurious, because it is basically comparing apples and oranges. Or possibly saying that 2+2 = 7.

Coming at this from another direction, there are any number of threads on EC about people feeling bad because they hear being using the word 'gay' in a negative or pejorative manner. Typically people will move pretty quickly to comfort the OP or otherwise be supportive. I'm not sure what the collective reaction would be if someone said that they were just being overly sensitive or too PC and made fun of them for that. I doubt it would be good. And I'm honestly not seeing any great difference in the current topic and those other threads except that in this case we're being somewhat more hypothetical.

As far as the use of the term among friends. You're correct that we often say things to our friends that we would never consider saying in 'polite company' and often we can be quite snarky. That said, I'm reminded of the OPs starting post (Which I just went back and reread). In it he basically indicates he overheard someone using the term and he's wondering how to react to that. He doesn't indicate how public the setting was, but among those who use the term with their friends - if you use it in a public place and in a way that paints it in a negative light (Data gives some examples) and someone who is struggling with their sexuality hears you and feels worse as a result (or decides they don't want to know you, so you lose a potential friend), is that a bad thing? A neutral thing? A thing you just don't care about because after all you don't know em so who cares (which sort of raises the question that if you can't be bothered to care about hurting a stranger, why should a bunch of strangers care about your pain?)? Something else?

Anyway.

Todd

 

I've had worse, I had him call me it. But yea, he called one of his gay friends it to. Except when he called me it, he wasn't kidding.

---------- Post added 22nd Oct 2013 at 10:23 PM ----------

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement.

 

It used to bug me a lot. Back in high school I remember having a huge crush on a fellow band mate. One day I heard him use the word "faggot" with a really mean tone to another guy, and it turned me off. Never liked him again.

Nowadays though, it doesn't bug me.

 

For me people are sensitive to different words for different reasons.

A teenage guy whose black who hears and uses the n word all the time with his friends is not gonna be as sensitive as an old guy whose black and was called it by a racist dude growing up.