We were driving past his town and she said something like "isn't that where your good friend from college lived?" I replied with what I usually do when she brings him up as a "good friend" and said "Yeah my boyfriend used to live there" Am I gonna have to bring a boy home to make this clear? I just find this very upsetting...like she does not respect my identity. I've already had a very direct conversation with her about this plus other things and how it makes me feel. She is better in most cases now, but she never calls him my old bf or something.
This is not uncommon. My wife has a lesbian cousin, she's been living with her partner for literally years and still her mother can't bring herself to call her anything other than her "friend". The cousin's parents are in their 70's and 80's, I can understand their reluctance to change their ways, but I would be less forgiving with younger parents... Yeah, once you bring a boy home, things might change...
Or maybe she is trying to not strike any nerves about your ex-boyfriend? I know my family and I try not to refer to my older sister's ex-boyfriend as such, we just refer to him as her friend or by name.
I guess it's better than her completely ignoring you've even dated people. It sucks but at least she's taking it like that...maybe someday she'll be open to it, but just take small steps.
