My life just changed forever

You have one father and one mother. Is it really worth cutting them out of your life over this? My dad has done some pretty heinous things but I still talk to him.

 

I guess only you can make that choice.

I would really love to say "Fine, cut them out like a tumor and forget about it" but at the same time I believe in second chances. If you've given them chance after chance, then I'd stop trying to let them into your life. If you feel a good relationship can exist, maybe another try is worth it.

Only you know what will work and what won't.

 

Well, my dad just told me this morning that my Mom has 3-6 months left to live. It feels surreal. You may feel empowered now by treating her as if she was dead, but I assure you that you don't want to feel as bad as I feel right now.

 

The difference is the relationship.

If a stranger came up to me and said they had 3-6 months, I wouldn't really care. If my dad said he had 3-6 months, I'd be very upset.

If Gaytheist doesn't feel that relationship and love anymore with his parents, they might as well be strangers.

 

I've noticed that after an LGBTQ son/daughter come out, the instinctive reaction is for one parent to blame the other. I wonder why.

 

I am so sorry (*hug*) :icon_sad:

 

Sorry to hear about that. Hope you're feeling alright now...or in the very near future.

 

If you hate both of them so much, why not cut them loose right now? You won't have to put up with all their abuse any more. As you make it past your vast 18 years of life experiences you'll realize how much happier you are without such a horrible family. OOPS! Sorry, I forgot they're forking over their hard earned for your college tuition. Oh well, life is full of compromises.

 

Why do so many people always stick up for the parents in situations like this?


I dont have anything else to add. Just good luck mate. If you want to talk about or rant about this further with someone who wont instantly judge you for not getting on with your parents, I'll be here.

 

These words are nothing but beautiful.

I am not old, yet there are already so many times in my life that I wish I had forgiven.

Additionally, I have not lived the life of a saint either, and without the forgiveness of others, I don't know how I would have coped.

"Every choice you make has a consequence, good or bad. And you have to live with the consequences of the choices you make, good or bad."

The problem with truisms like this is that...well, they're always true. They can be used by anyone for almost any purpose because they're almost always true. You get what I'm saying?

I genuinely feel that life cannot progress forwards without forgiveness. I've lost a part of my life to anger and self-perceived hatred. I wish I hadn't.

Please don't make the same mistakes as me.

All the best

 

(*hug*)

 

Do you seriously believe that cutting them out of the picture will do any good? To be blunt, I honestly think you'd be making a horrible decision if you did. You only have ONE mother, and ONE father. When they're gone, that's it. There's no more second-chances. Say you cut them out of your life and they both suddenly died. Do you REALLY want your last memory of them to be of you treating them like crap because they were trying their hardest to accept you? If that's the case, you're absolutely disgusting. Egocentric. Heartless I might add.

As someone who has first hand witnessed the strain a child can put on their parents by cutting them out of the picture, I can GUARENTEE that the LAST thing they ever want to do is hurt their own child. They never want a relationship with their child to disappear: they want to be able to say "hey, you and your family are more than welcome to stop over", "Have a seat and let's catch up". Your parents love you dearly, more than you even care to think. Who are you to tell them that they will no longer get to see their son?

They've done so much for you: they put a roof over your head, put food on the table for you, bought you clothes to wear, paid for you to go to school, been with you through the good and the bad. There are children who don't ever get to experience the absolute PRIVILEGE of having parents or any sort of family. So if you plan on making cutting them out of your life, just know this: one day, the one you care about most will leave you after everything you two've been through, and you will live a lonely, miserable fucking life.

So, let me ask you this again: do you SERIOUSLY... want to take your parents out of the picture... over something like this? Because if so... words cannot even describe the egotistical evil that you are.

 

Thanks, waffles. Your insight and maturity are beyond 17 years.

 

Umm... Tad over reaction. Whilst cutting out your parents may seem unthinkable to most of us, we don;t know this guys story.

 

Well, this thread has escalated pretty quickly. Just a suggestion, but let's not make this so personal.

I don't really have anything to say apart from it's your decision. You've read others' posts, coming from different schools of thought. Personally, I don't think you should deal in such an absolute as this- as people have said, once you do this it's nigh on irreversible. However, I don't know your entire story, I don't know your thinking on this, I can't comprehend how much damage it's done to you. I won't tell you what to do because it's your call in the end, but I don't see what ending your relationship with them entirely would achieve apart from animosity.

 

AwesomeGaytheist,

There's no way to be rude about this, but may I advise you to ignore a certain post by a certain person?

Also, thanks for sharing more of your situation. That is certainly a lot bleaker than I imagined.

The way I see it is, you are young. You have a lot of pain which is clearly justified.

I would never ask or force anyone to forgive - and this is something that your mother needs to respect too.

But, perhaps, at this stage, the least you can do is not burn the bridge?

Even if it's dusty, it can still be used, years later. Or not. The future you will know better.