I see this a lot on the forums, and frankly, it perplexes me. You know the typical thing: "I tried to tell my family, and they told me it was a phase." I'm wondering if anyone knows, scientifically speaking, how long this 'phase' is supposed to last exactly. I read some threads and sometimes ask myself - who exactly is going through a phase? The individual with their 'gay phase', or the family with their 'denial of what's going on phase'. Any information anyone can shed on this would be great. Cheers
When family member say phase they just don't want to believe that you could be gay. I desperately clung to the idea that I was just in a phase. Then I desperately clung to the idea that I was bisexual.
I've heard before that the coming out process is life long; we continue to come out to others and learn to live with our status as sexual and/or transgender minorities. For some, realizing and accepting the truth can take seconds, while for others, it could take decades to reach. How those around you react can definitely affect how your own journey turns out, and thankfully, mine have been more on the neutral side of accepting, especially after seeing how my mental and physical health was being affected.
Certainly, from the little I've seen on these boards and experienced in reality, this seems to make a lot of sense. Also, I think if this is the case then it's applicable to all humans. Personally speaking, there are certain things which I really didn't like before which I absolutely love now. Just personally speaking, I feel that there's been a journey there even for me. *rubs beard* Really interesting
Well, I hoped myself that it was just a phase and that one day I would just magically be attracted to women. But no. My dad now thinks it's a phase. But heck, I got over it, so can he!
Probably the same reason i was incorrectly diagnosed autistic growing up. They want to find *any* possibility other than what it really is. This denial sometimes only ends when we introduce a romantic interest to them. Even then, i have read in the "later in life" forum cases where someone's grandma will still refer to the partner of 20 years as a 'roommate.' Denial for us can run deep too, but almost always in the opposite direction. The real "phase" is thinking we are "hetero."
The phase depends on the person. Most times, it's a phase of the person claiming it a phase to fit their denial of what they're being told. Some people can get out of the denial phase after given time (such as my grandmother) and sometimes a heavy scenario that sort of puts the issue to seem less problematic to them. Time does heal some wounds. However, sometimes it really is for a person. Though I hate to admit it, I've heard of and met some people who lie and say they are gay, lesbian, or anything really...And they're mostly doing it to put up a front. That too would be a phase. I don't know why people see a need to, but some people seem to think of an 'alternate lifestyle', as some put, it as a fad or trend. So...It also depends on if it's just someone following a trend like a silly, or truly means it. But most of the time, I think it's the person claiming it a phase just being in denial~
I think sexuality can be fluid and change over time, but I think the word phase has such a weird connotation that I hate to use it.
When I told my mom she asked me if it was just a "phase" or if I was "just confused" I hated her for that for while. My mom is smart and I thought she knew better. Later on I found out that she just didn't want to accept it because she knew that being gay in todays world can sometimes make life harder, and she didn't want me to go through that. I don't think its a phase for anyone, no matter what they say.
phase, hmmm... But, some people DO go through phases where they try something "new"/"different" and then end up changing thier minds, right? A "phase" can relatate to anything where someone enjoys (or tries) something for a time and then decides (for whatever reason) to ether modify what they are experimenting with, or stop it altogether. Concerning sexuality, it could relate to masturbating differently, watching a new type of porn, experimenting with ethnicity, or gender. "Going through a phase" could actually be true for some people.
