Some people here on EC are out to the tune of 100%, some are out to select individuals, and some are closeted. It's all good. Everyone is different and has different needs. Assume that the people who need to know do know, and those who don't need to know (because they can make your life harder) don't know, though they probably suspect. Assume you are not in a relationship and are not championing someone for whom you have an exclusive affection. Do you feel that you should come out as GLB to additional people simply because you are being hit on? Being an adult male, this is not the starry eyed, naive high school or college woman who might seriously become infatuated and whose feelings could get more hurt. It's often adult women who have been through a divorce or two, have kids, and are looking for another man to fill the emptiness they may feel. Note that they have been given no come-ons whatsoever. What do you think when it's a situation like this?
I think if you are trying to get someone off your back, you can say that you are not interested. If you mean your friends, you can say none of the people interest you. Just say you have a type, and if you feel comfortable, add what type that is. It's really a personal decision.
I would just say I'm flattered by their interest but not interested. If the person won't let up on the flirting and keeps insisting, then I would probably just tell them that I'm gay. I would keep it friendly and courteous since they're mature women and will most likely understand.
There's not really a right or wrong answer (which is the lamest answer of all, but hey). You have no obligation to tell them, but if it makes things more convenient for you, then do it. I guess the main concern would be whether that information is likely to spread to people who will make your life more difficult once they know your gay. How much of a threat is that to you vs. how much do you want those women to divert their attention somewhere else?
Try to let them down easy. However, if they keep pushing you may have no choice but to be blunt and tell them that you're gay.
Thanks for the responses so far. The bold above identifies a major issue. Most of them come through friends who don't know, aren't great friends to begin with, and it would seep into friendship tentacles that have no need nor benefit from knowing. Thus far, I have taken the avoidance tactic. When I've been avoided or sensed I'm not someone's type, I pick up on it REAL fast and move on. I wish others would too. You've all made good points I need to consider.
Don't tell them if you don't have to. There's nothing wrong with being gay (I should know!) but to some people, they just don't accept it very well. Tell her you're not interested. Don't be mean about it, though. If she still pesters you, tell her.
