Social Anxiety around "Popular people"

I have social anxiety and I know what it can be like. Firstly how do you know they think their better than you. You have no idea, you can't mind read. Instead of think as people as "popular" or "not popular" think of people as individuals. You as a decent human being have the absolute right to go a speak to them and to hang around with them. There not above you. They be more louder but that doesn't make them better than you.

"Are there any ways to not care what people think?" This question says a lot about how you think. How can you care about something you don't even know. You can't mind read. Instead of think "what will they think if I do this?" instead think "Do I find it's a good idea to speak to them considering I'm just a valid human being as them?" and you will stop caring what people think or what you think they think. Yes it's difficult but it will come with practise.

Also if you get quiet in a social situation don't put yourself down. You've got social anxiety it's going to happen now and then. Just because you didn't talk in the past doesn't mean in a similar situation you won't be able talk in future.

 

I think this is probably the case with most people's social anxiety. It goes up around popular or influential people. There's a caste system of sorts even in the modern world.

 

What do you mean?

 

It's like an invisible club where all the popular and influential people have membership. They all seem to know each other and they know that you're not one of them. It's a lot like that at my old private high school. The alumni association plans golf and tennis outings at the country club. They wouldn't think of planning something at a family restaurant.

 

Some people naturally act like that they are everyone's best friend. Thinking there all in an invisible club is probably paranoia. Maybe in high school it might be a bit like this. But after that people are either friendly towards you or not. I don't believe in social heiranchys or anything like that after high school.

 

It's easier said than done, but having confidence in who you are and thinking less of what others might think of you really helps with social awkwardness.
I used to have a lot of social anxiety. Fortunately for me, our school didn't have a strong social hierarchy and we were either nice to one another or ignored each other. As my anxiety diminished, I befriended a lot of people and I ended up being one of the cool popular guys.

 

Just know that the judgement that they may be passing — if any at all — is no more or less valid than anyone else's judgement on you just because they're popular. It should only affect you as much as you let it affect you, in my experience. They're ultimately people, too, at the end of the day. Part of what can help this all is a mind shift; worry less about what others think of you, and ultimately that'll be conveyed and others will judge you less.

It also helps to note that many people do not judge as harshly as we may think, especially as you get to know people better, and so people are more apt to be understanding and less judgemental on first impression bases.