Who are you?

I don't know. I struggle with this as well. I suppose part of the problem is not knowing what to define myself by - I don't identify with my race or country, I don't have a religion, or a profession, or even a partner by which to define myself - it could be argued that these aren't the best things to define yourself by, most people do.

 

Who do you want to be?

 

haha so cute

 

I've never known who I am. I've always struggled with an identity my entire life. When I was with groups of people/spent a lot of time with someone, I'd pick up things that they'd do. Over the years, I've picked up minor quirks and incorporated them into my persona.

Since I've been exploring the idea of being transgender, I've been steadily shedding those traits. Slowly, I'm figuring out how I am, and that person is male.

It's a strange feeling. My friend that knows 'm trans will occasionally call me 'sir' and uses male pronouns. It causes a strange sensation that I like, but reminds me of how I'd feel as a child doing something that I enjoyed but knew was wrong.

Then again, I haven't had my coffee and need to pop some tylenol because I slept with a cat foot in the middle of my back all night.

 

^ This though. I understand this.

In response to the OP...I don't know. I honestly don't know who I am, and it's strange, and it's wonderful, and it's liberating, and it's terrifying. But it's just the truth of the matter, like a slate wiped clean, I feel blank, and new, and capable of ascribing myself to anything. I suppose that's the positive side of not knowing who you are.

The negative side, though...i'll look back at myself, look on who I used to be, and so many things that I thought applied to me just don't fit anymore. Sometimes it's ok, the losses help make me who I am today, or rather who I'm steadily becoming, like the parting with my childhood religion, or even the rewriting of my gender, which though difficult to deal with from time to time feels better somehow, more like me, and therefore ok. But other times it's strange, and sad. I used to be an artist, I was constantly creating, and looking back on some of my old art, some of it's pretty good, but it's like looking back at a ghost, something that once was but just isn't there anymore. I've been trying to pick it up again, but it's like the spark is gone. I don't know that I'm an artist anymore.

Other things stick, things are developing. Likes, dislikes, quirks. The things I connect with. I guess a better answer than "I don't know who I am" would be "I don't know who I am, but I'm working on it."

 

An applicable metaphor to how I feel is that I'm a snake shedding its skin.

As a snake gets closer to shed, their coloration dulls. My cornsnake is normally a lovely grey color with black markings, but as she gets closer to shedding, she turns a dull brown color. I suppose this could be akin to the depression that follows the realization of being trans.

From there, she goes blind; similar to the blind scramble I made to find reasoning on why I had the feels, excuses really.

From there, after the "blue period", as its called, the snake can see again. Similar to the sudden clarity of knowing "This is who I am".

Finally, the snake sheds its skin, revealing the new, pristine scales. Eventually, I'll shed the feminine look and be who I feel I am.

 

I really couldn't tell you. I could tell you all about my weird, scary and yet fascinating life so far in my 21 years...but honestly I don't know how to answer that. I think its a question that most people can only answer towards the end of their life. For now, I'm only 21. And I (hopefully) have many more years of life ahead of me....and who knows what will happen in those years.

So for now..I'm just Hrantou.

 

There are easier questions...for now I am content with: I am who I am beginning to be.

 

I think it's time I came out to you all...

I am super(gay)man

I'm sorry guys...

 

I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose

 

I am a mother, sister, daughter, and a friend to a few people. I am shy, but talkative at times and I have no problem initiating a conversation. Although, it terrifies me most of the time because I am really socially awkward as hell. I'm funny, loud and overall a very lovable person or at least I like to think so. Last, but not least, I am gay, which has helped me become the person I am today. I am more vocal than I've ever been in my entire about my opinion, decisions and feelings. If you want discover who you are, you cannot be afraid to be who you are. Just let go and be free, who cares about what other people are going to think.

 

Hmm this is a difficult question and I think that maybe the reason it's so difficult to answer is because I'm still trying to figure out who I am. So far I know that I love to laugh, I can't stand to see anyone be in pain regardless if its a stranger or a friend, I'm very outgoing and social yet close up and stutter when making speeches, friends, family, school are important to me, and the thought of not being able to make something of myself scares the shit out of me. That's as much as I can truly say for myself later on I'll probably think of more things I could've added. But right now I'm still on my journey of figuring out who I am and who I want to be.

 

Yay, I love metaphors! :icon_bigg
This one is extremely accurate to me as well (except replace "feminine" with "masculine" in the last line). Wonderfully put, good sir.

 

I am never going to be one thing, because we are ever changing.


However, at my root, I am these things.

I'm a bit confused about life. I've always had big dreams and wanted a lot out of life, but a string of bad luck made me paranoid about reaching for the stars and I'm afraid of not getting the life I want. I'm a bit of a jerk at times, or so I've been told. I'm rather sarcastic and bad with emotional expression. However, I'm actually very sensitive, almost to the point to where I question if I'm mentally ill. Writing has allowed me to get some of this sensitivity out and make sense of my feelings. I also really enjoy making people happy, but most people don't trust me to do it because in real life I accidentally come off as a twit.

Laughing is the most important element in life. I love making people laugh, and I love laughing. But I also think that emotions in general are very important, as I have been so closed off from mine. I know that they are important because I hid them for so long. Even the bad emotions are important parts of us, it's just the feat of mastering them and using them to grow that's the hard part.

I love people, but I'm still very much afraid of them. The biggest struggle that I have had was getting over the idea that other people define who I am. I still struggle with this, but I know that it's not true. No matter how much I change, these are the facts that are indisputable about me. At my core, this is who I am.

 

I'm clueless as to who I am. Don't want to know anyway. It means that there won't be anything I don't know about myself. And that'd be no fun! I'll be who I am, regardless of if I know who that is or not

 

Sometimes it can be a painful experience as we take the road of self discovery. More so when we seek love, acceptance and permission from those around us in our personal lives. Keep in mind that once we learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are, we can start to accept that we are who are we and as long as we love ourselves, regardless of those around us.

 

Another question could be how best to define yourself? I suspect it's unhelpful to define ones self by some things (nationalism and racism come to mind), and perhaps it's just unhealthy to do so by any one thing.