PFLAG Response to Love Won Out in Florida

[beckyg]

I wanted to share this with you guys. This is what PFLAG does in response to Love Won Out conferences. I was able to participate when Love Won Out came to Portland, Oregon. My own uncle called wanting me to attend this with him and I gave him a flat out "no" that my son was fine the way he is.



[Note: There's an action item at the bottom of this email; please
take a moment to respond to the Letter to the Editor planted by "Love
Won Out" organizers in the Orlando Sentinel yesterday.]

Friends,

Here's the YouTube posting of a video of the PFLAG protest of Focus
on the Family's 50th "Love Won Out" conference at First Presbyterian
Church of Orlando on June 6, 2008. The conference was timed to
coincide with Gay Days, an annual pilgrimage of at least 100,000
people to Walt Disney World that is widely considered to have a
bigger impact on the Central Florida economy than any other single
event.

This video was created by Vicki Nantz and Mary Meeks, the
documentarians who created "Accessory to Murder: Our Culture's
Complicity in the Death of Ryan
Skipper" (www.ryanskipperdocumentary.com). Ryan Skipper's
stepfather, Lynn Mulder, is one of the people interviewed here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bzg2b-jRGNs

At the rally were about 30 PFLAGers from AL, FL, GA and SC, plus
PFLAG National Executive Director Jody Huckaby, Communications
Director Steve Ralls and Senior Field & Policy Coordinator Jamie
Curtis -- all of whom were in Orlando for the PFLAG Gulf Regional
Conference held at Walt Disney World that weekend. We were joined by
a woman from the local LGBT community who is interviewed in this
video and says she was a victim of "ex-gay" therapy.

Due to the fact that First Presbyterian's parking is across the
street from the church campus, PFLAGers had an opportunity to speak
directly with LWO participants, including staff of both First
Presbyterian and Exodus International (an "ex-gay" organization).
Perhaps the single event that had the greatest impact on rally
participants was seeing a youth being walked into the church by his
parents while tears streamed down his face.

Next stops for "Love Won Out" are Anchorage (AK) on Sept. 13th, and
Colorado Springs (CO) on Oct. 25th. (www.lovewonout.com) For more
information about "ex-gay" therapy, visit the PFLAG website: http://
community.pflag.org/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?pid=503&srcid=652

Prior to LWO Orlando, organizers posted six billboards around Orlando
with the headline "I Questioned Homosexuality". A similar billboard
had appeared prior to the LWO in suburban Atlanta in 2006 and was
posted in the historically African-American Sweet Auburn neighborhood
(home of Ebenezer Baptist Church and the MLK Center for Nonviolent
Social Change) featuring a smiling middle-aged African-American man,
even though conference attendees are generally white and that LWO was
held in a predominantly white suburban megachurch.

The Orlando billboards prompted the following story in the Orlando
Sentinel:

Gay activists to protest Orlando event, notion that homosexuality is
'curable'
orlandosentinel.com/community/news/winterpark/orl-
exgays0608jun06,0,908656.story

Jeff Kunerth
Sentinel Staff Writer
June 6, 2008

Gay activists and clergy are planning a silent protest Saturday
morning outside a conference of ex-gays who contend homosexuality can
be cured by religious counseling.

The conference, called "Love Won Out" and sponsored by the
conservative Colorado-based Christian organization Focus on the
Family, has sparked controversy and outrage with several billboards
in Orlando and other cities that host the traveling event. The
billboards declare: "I Questioned Homosexuality and discovered love
won out." The group's message is that change is possible.

"For gays, this is the same as saying you don't have to be black, you
don't have to be Jewish," said Wayne Besen, executive director of
TruthWinsOut.org, a Brooklyn-based gay advocacy group. "They
represent us as broken and incomplete people."

Protesters, organized by Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and
Gays, will meet outside First Presbyterian Church in Orlando, where
organizers say the conference is expected to draw about 500
participants. The conference coincides with Gay Days, which annually
attracts thousands of gays to Orlando and Disney World.

Earlier in the week, leaders of Orlando's gay community denounced the
conference and the billboards as part of the larger agenda by
Christian groups to deny gays rights -- including same-sex marriage
-- and portray gays and lesbians as deviant and abnormal.

Before Orlando, Love Won Out had erected the controversial billboards
in eight cities. In some cities, the billboards have been vandalized.

The ex-gays conference is the setting for the latest battleground
between conservative Christian ministries and gay activists over the
unsolved question of what determines a person's sexual orientation.
The ministries argue that same-sex attraction results from specific
events in a person's life -- such as sexual abuse, personal trauma
and dysfunctional families -- that can be corrected with Christian-
based counseling.

"Same-sex attraction is the result of a number of influential
factors, but, no, we don't believe people are born gay," said Melissa
Fryrear, director of gender issues for Focus on the Family. "We
believe homosexuals can be converted and same-sex attractions can
change."

Research by the American Psychological Association and other mental-
health organizations disputes that view of homosexuality, said
Kathryn Norsworthy, a licensed psychologist in Winter Park.

"Homosexuality is not a deviant behavior or abnormal. There is no
need for a cure," Norsworthy said.

Jill Bley, a psychologist with the American Psychological
Association, said there is no evidence that therapy can change a
person's sexuality -- only that some people can repress their sexual
desires.

"They cannot change because, we believe, it is a chemical, biological
thing that happens in very early stages of development," said Bley,
whose practice is in Cincinnati.

Love Won Out points to a recent study as proof that change in sexual
orientation is possible. Researchers followed a group of gays and
lesbians who had been referred for "conversion therapy" by Exodus
International, an Orlando-based ministry for ex-gays. The study found
that 15 of the 98 gays and lesbians had become heterosexual.

But Besen says the therapy is a false hope that Love Won Out sells to
unhappy homosexuals, their families and friends. Scores of ex-gays
who marry believing they have turned straight end up in divorce court
after discovering they hadn't changed after all, Besen contends.

"They show you the marriage licenses," he said. "They don't show you
the divorce papers."

Jeff Kunerth can be reached at 407-420-5392 or
jkunerth@orlandosentinel.com.

The following Letter to the Editor appeared the next day in the
Sunday edition of the Orlando Sentinel and was written by a member of
First Presbyterian. To submit a letter in response, send it to
insight@orlandosentinel.com and/or you can post a comment to the
online version of the letter here:
http://www.topix.net/forum/source/or...2T56BTKLIPCFSA

Saving Us From Ourselves
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...n/letters/orl-
le08_108jun08,0,602672.story

Upon reading the article about gay activists planning a protest to
the "Love Wins Out" conference happening in our city, I felt sorry
for those 500 people who have nothing better to do but create hate
and anger outside a downtown church that 365 days a year truly does
promote the love and healing of a mighty God.

Focus on the Family, the organization sponsoring the event, has for
years offered loving support and counseling as a way to flee from the
gay lifestyle. God created and loves us all and calls us to be
obedient to His will, but He did give us a free will of our own.

The lifestyle choices we surrender to are in fact choices within our
free will, whether it be homosexuality, self-righteousness,
alcoholism, gambling, lying, and the list goes on. All of us have
been born with strong tendencies toward right or wrong. It is our
relationship with our mighty and loving God, who, by the way, created
us, that can save us from ourselves.

NANCY CHAPIN
Orlando

Here's a comment on that letter, posted online by a rally participant:

I'm a little surprised you characterized the rally this way. The
protesters were from PFLAG National and PFLAG Orlando (Parents and
Friends of Gays and Lesbians) and they were polite, offered donuts
and juice to attendees and had very interesting and calm dialog with
the Pastor of the church. He was charming in fact.

The result of the conversation I had lead me to understand where we
have common ground.

Pastor's Position:

-We love our children.
-We are doing what we think is best for our children.
-We are helping the INDIVIDUAL to change.
-We want them to obey God.
-The reward is acceptance for our children in the Christian community.

My Position:

-We love our children.
-We are doing what we think is best for our children.
-We want our children to be true to themselves.
-We are helping the COMMUNITY to change.
-The reward is acceptance for our children in the community.

It is difficult to be on opposite sides of an issue when the intent
is the same. We both want what is best for our children.

--
Lance Helms
PFLAG Gulf Regional Director
Atlanta
www.pflag.org

Take the Straight For Equality Pledge!
www.straightforequality.org/pledge

[Jeimuzu]

What I've always found funny is that religion accepts that science is based on logical understanding of the world, and still rejects its findings if they don't agree with them.

When every psychological agency worth anything in the US disagrees, I don't quite get why they're still convinced we're diseased, and we all want to be cured really.

I don't. I don't want to have my true nature suppressed. Girls don't do anything for me. I don't have a dormant straightness that would be exposed through aversion therapy. I'd be more likely to be put off relationships altogether, giving me no hope for love in the world whatsoever.

Love is winning out. Who I love doesn't stop it being love.

[Hoppip]

Wow. I never realized people cared about people like us so much. I guess I never would have expected parents to care.

[Beebo]

When I got to the part where parents were leading their child into the LWO conference, and he had tears streaming down his face... That broke my heart.

[beckyg]

Originally Posted by Beebo

When I got to the part where parents were leading their child into the LWO conference, and he had tears streaming down his face... That broke my heart.

Yeah, I was crying when I read that. How could a parent look at their child and lead them into one of those things.

[Hoppip]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=A8uLkNefhkQ&feature=related

This is an interview by an ex-gay survivor, and I think it's pretty informative.

[Wander]

As odd as it may sound, I wasn't really surprised. I'm not surprised by much of anything anymore. Various religious, legal, social, and political groups have done much more ignorant things in the past concerning the wellbeing of the LGBT community. It's sad, it's angering, but it's been going on for a very long time. At least there ARE people who are willing to fight for our protection.

[pirateninja]

The very name "Love won out" is a misnomer. I hate it.

Even IF (which I doubt) the 15 out of 98 gays had turned hetero, that's still 83 that had wasted their time, money and had to endure guilt and blame and possibly have lasting damage from the "cure". People should be allowed to explore and discover their own sexuality without any bias.

Oh my non-existent god, who the HELL do these bastards think they are?! Really, "Love Won Out?" That has got to be the biggest misnomer ever, as pirateninja said.

Ex- gay conferences/camps and conversion the-RAPE-y are emotional abuse. They should be shut down, just like those "metalhead conversion clinics" were.