I am just thinking about my life, I am an IVF kid so I only exist as a result of modern medicine so my very existence is a result of science not some deity. I only found about being IVF after suffering a severe bout of depression that made me suicidal (I am gay and to be honest I used to want to die than have to accept it, celibacy failed) my family obviously distraught at the idea of me not being around told me that they had to fight to even have me and that I mean a lot to them. In all honestly its just made me feel my life isn't my own, I only have one because my parents wanted a kid so badly and artificial scientific techniques made that happen. They were very over protective when I was a kid they tried to run my life so I just wonder if my life is even my own, it has meaning to others but not to myself. Seriously I don't care about my own life, if I died tomorrow my family would be upset for a while and then just move on, my boyfriend would fall in love with someone else etc. nothing would change.
Hey I can relate to a lot of this. Not an "IVF kid," but I can say that I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for technology. I have a chronic illness that's more or less perfectly controlled by medications, but that would've probably killed me a long time ago if I didn't have them. I used to think of myself as just a chemical time bomb that was being delayed for a while. I'm guessing you feel a similar discomfort to what I felt is that you probably had a religious upbringing like I did? I'm assuming Catholic like my family since you're from Ireland. I know this isn't the only source of your depression - living in a culture that oppresses gay people can't help either. But as far as meaning goes, I don't think life is inherently meaningful for anyone. Religious folks get the luxury of deriving their meaning from God, but I think (and this is purely personal opinion) that meaning has to start with a conscious decision on the part of each person to choose what is meaningful and worth living for to them. And its never to late to start making those choices. Anyway, I really do hope you start feeling better and figuring out what gives you meaning. If you need a friend, feel free to message me! Or any of the other awesome people on this site! (&&&)
Being conceived by IVF does not make you any less of a miracle than those born through traditional means. To the sperm and egg, it makes no difference where the fertilization took place, and you really shouldn't hate science so much. IVF is not artificial because so far, no one can make life without starting with life. IMO, you are being selfish in hating your parents for trying to have a child, and you are totally wrong that your family would only be upset "for a while" if you died. The reason they were so overprotective is because they understood how precious your life was. There are many people, like two of my aunts and my former research professor's wife, who are infertile even with IVF, and you can't imagine the pain they feel for not having a child of their own.
IVF and other forms of conception are natural. You're perfectly human. And sometimes in going about one's life, it can feel as if some things are rather predictable and unchanging. But how awesome would it feel to find something worth fighting for, to bring change to some cause or case that people thought would never change? Even trying to find something like that is totally worth living for. So if things feel lame now, remember there's always tomorrow and there's always that possibility of something amazing striking your imagination. It would suck to miss out on that.
Time for a little Carl Sagan philosophy. Basically, we are the culmination of billions of years of dust floating around in space, collecting together, gravitating enough to start fusing and sending energy to other little bits nearby. That energy was used in chemical reactions that, after another obscene amount of years, are now able to consciously alter, maintain, or even end their existence. Arguably, we even intimately connect with every other particle in the universe via quantum entanglement. We don't just exist IN the universe; we ARE the universe. ^So yes, I consider human life not only mind-blowingly remarkable, but meaningful in a way we don't fully understand. I have utmost faith that we serve a purpose. If the results are not seen today, then some time in the future.
