Heterophobia - the other side of the coin

Thank you for making this post. I was considering starting a thread arguing the same premise myself but I didn't want to anger anyone and set myself up for flame fodder. I disagree with what you're saying, but now there's a venue where I can broach the topic and not run the risk of getting accused of starting a flamebait thread.

I'm Bigender, today I'm a man and a straight one at that, so I always recoil anytime I read the more pugnacious members bashing on straight people.

The extreme currents of some queer groups go as far as equating heterosexuality with evil, and that to me is so insane. the truth is, they're privileges are becoming more negligible as time goes by in ways that other privileges are not. To the contrary, racism, sexism, and transphobia are just as widespread as ever, but homosexuals have much less to complain about than other marginalized groups. Instead of countering homophobia with an attitude mirroring theirs, the gay community should enumerate the privileges they have over others, continue to fight for all queers, and ditch the prejudice against straight people who are becoming more and more tolerant each year.

 

All the very concept of "heterophobia" can get, from me, is a massive eyeroll. It's just ridiculous and idiotic on countless levels. Straight people represent the vast majority in this country - there is not a single person out there who has felt discrimination, and I'm talking real life discrimination, *simply* over being straight. They are not marginalized. They do not have rights denied them over their sexuality. They are not the victims of hate crimes and global abuse and oppression. Heterophobia is a fallacy - its existence is as valid as that of the Easter Bunny.

Also, if an LGBT person expresses what may seem like opposition to a straight/cis person, it is NOT coming from bigotry (as with homophobia) but the *need* for the minority to speak out against the dominant, mainstream majority to have a voice at all and to not be slienced.

My parents are straight and so is every single person who came before them, and the vast majority of people with whom I, and all gay people, for that matter interact with in a day. Of course we're not "heterophobic", that's downright silly. Some gay people may resent straight people because of discrimination they've dealt with from them, but that is not bigotry, it's simply the victim of bigotry growing understandably jaded toward their oppressor.

Ugh, this whole topic rubs me the wrong way. Just an excuse for the bully to play the victim, which is extremely disrespectful and a huge slap in the face to Matthew Shepard, Brandon Teena, and countless other victims of real world prejudice.

 

I was raised by straight parents and I turned out just fine!!!! lol

 

I wouldn't consider myself heterophobic, the very idea to which I am dubious as to its existence save a very few, very bitter homosexuals -- a mere fringe. That said, I think what people mislabel as heterophobia is the general criticism of the heteronormative world by those who are not heteronormative, such as myself, which is not discriminatory at all, but a sort of counterculture.

 

More ruminations

Recently, the LGB community has come across as bullies to more marginalized people, notably transgendered people, and minority races. Aligning themselves with our oppressors, mainstream LGB groups have disconnected themselves from other dispossesed groups in order to propel themselves ahead, while abandoning transgendered folks, and women who disagree with their actions. For example why have they been so mum about the blatant mistreatment and transphobia regarding Chelsea Manning? I've said this before and I'll say it again: they would be drumming their chests, shouting at the top of their lungs if Bush were culpable for the dehumanizing treatment of Manning, but Obama gets a free pass cause he's a Democrat supporting gay marriage.

Some LGB people do benefit, many don't, but the point is that the oft forgotten T has been constrained to irrelevant status at the cost of homosexuals elevating their place in society.

The dynamic has shifted for trans people to the point they're entrapped by three social systems of power, composing a triangular prison. A gay person faces oppression in two ways, one springs from oppression from their parents, the second arises from society. For Transgendered folks, the oppression arises from family and society, but the third net trapping them is oppression from homosexuals. As a result, modern queer politics can not be considered legitimate, because for true sexual liberation to exit, all non-cis, non-binary gender identities must be represented.

From the homosexual point of view, everything is running smoothly since the Capitalist market has pushed their agenda forward, but to us things aren't rosy, nor will they be as long as we're ignored, marginalized, and excluded by pseudo-liberation movements bent on upholding a system that confers rights and privileges only to cis-people.

 

I'm not heterophobic. But I do hate how some of them are homophobic.

 

@AtheistWorld,

This isn't really related to the OP's topic, but whatever. I will say, I agree with you on one thing, and that is absolutely the LGBT communities marginalization of transpeople. A lot of my insecurity in transition came from LGB who said that transpeople were "weird" or somehow gave the community a bad image, and was actually a large part of my decision to go stealth, for the time that I did so.

But I think this is more multi-demensional than you're making it out to be. Number one, the idea that LGB people are now accepted by society, at large, is absolutely false and incorrect. Look up statistics, LGB people are still very much the victims of harassment, violence, and abuse, and are still denied a great many rights and protections afforded to straight people (and even other minorities). The situation is even worse outside the US.

Not only that, these things aren't necessarily black and white. You can't narrow it down to trans* vs gay, that's silly. Number one, it's not a competition, so there should be no need to, number two, there are more complexities to it than that. A straight, passable transman is clearly going to receive faar less discrimination than an out lesbian (particularly those who identify as more "butch" or what have you). Just like a straight acting gay man is going to get far less hate than a less passable transfemale.

For me...honestly? I got less hate when I was in transition and actively trying to be a girl. Because I passed, well, as a straight female, and was just sorta invisible, for the most part. As soon as I started trying to pass as a boy, I started looking like a lesbian and got yelled at by a group of rednecks who thought me and my sister were lesbians. Now, I'm passing as a boy, again, but people can still generally guess I'm gay, so I still constitute a visible minority (in a very bigoted, small minded area) and actually have people say things all the time (just had people giving me shit the other day).

The point is, this has many nuances to it. I honestly feel like...I mean, I did get a bit less hate (from NON-family) in transition, I'm not going to lie, because I had the privilege of passing as a straight girl (which some transpeople don't). But then being a straight female brings with it it's own worries, such as a lot more worries over rape, that I don't have to worry about as much because of the privilege of being male. Really, it's too complex to put into a simple box, like you've done..

 

I am not heterophobic. I love people as they are according to their actions and intent. If a hetero is an asshole, I don't like him or her

If a member of the LGBT comunity is likewise an asshole, I don't like them...and yeah they certainly exists but I won't derail the thread

Heterophobia does exist. Perhaps there is some reason for it because gay and trans do get attacked but then we can't judge every straight or Cis person over the actions of some

Foxface

 

Without the massive support of society and power, "heterophobia" could never be classified as nearly as bad. It's more likely to be that the gay/bi person doesn't like heterosexuals due to the experiences they've been through, whereas homophobia is backed by society, tradition, important institutions, and doesn't affect the majority, making it easier to get away with.

 

Biphobia and femmephobia in the lesbian community is kind of like heterophobia. Both bisexual women and feminine women are seen as "not queer enough" by the lesbian community.

 

Maybe heterophobia exists, and it is unjustified, but its not a serious problem, and I think it has roots that are much easier to comprehend and forgive than homophobia does. LGBT people have been oppressed by heterosexuals and those who think heterosexuality is preferred. Now I'm by no means saying that people are justified in judging all straight people by these actions, but I can see how it might happen, particularly in those who have been directly hurt by this oppression. Compare that to homophobia, in which they are trying to eradicate and persecute a group who is no threat to them, has never hurt or even been in a position to cause harm to them. Heterophobia simply isn't comparable. It doesn't come with the weight of oppression, because it isn't done by the ruling class.

 

I see something happen in many areas and that is a kind of backlash. Whenever a group is discriminated against for a trait of theirs, it's inevitable that some people who share that trait will become angry at the "norm" for having the reverse of said trait as they can sometimes be seen as representing the group that has discriminated against them. Like man-hating women, tumblr blogs that say shit like "die cis scum" and gay people who assume all straight people are ignorant asses. I can understand where these feelings come from, but they're just unhelpful and make things worse. Whilst this reverse discrimination is less damaging, it still needs addressing.

 

Saying that heterophobia is "the other side of the coin" insinuates that "both sides" (homophobia and heterophobia) are equal in some way when they aren't. :dry:

Its just a very insulting thread title. Its actually pretty outrageous.

And I refuse to vote in that ridiculous poll.

 

Under 35 and I don't hate straights. Who could? That means you hate a majority of our species.

 

I don't think the concept of Heterophobia is necessarily about anyone who has experienced genuine discrimination as a result of being straight. We get this nonsense in The Daily Mail (a British 'newspaper') about Christian Heterosexual people being discriminated against because they weren't allow to refuse entry to a gay couple simply on the basis of the couple's sexuality. That sort of stuff is utter nonsense - if you run a business you go by the laws of this country regarding business and if you really need to be ignorant homophobes you can do that on your own time without being paid for it.

However, I suppose I can believe that there is a concept of 'Heterophobia' in the more literal sense of the word 'phobia', where LGBT people may be inclined to be suspicious or mistrustful of straight people because they may automatically perceive that they will face hatred or prejudice from straight people. Anyone who says anything along the lines of 'all straight people are homophobic' is being prejudiced. To paraphrase a cliche - not just 'some' but 'most' of "my best friends are straight" and those I've told about my sexuality have been not just supportive but it has made no difference whatsoever to our friendship.

It is worth considering, though, that not everyone is so lucky and people's prejudices are not always easy to untangle, even if it's easy to see/say from the outside that it's wrong. There are people who might not consider themselves racist but are scared of people based on their race because they look/sound like someone who attacked/abused them (for example). That doesn't make their prejudice justified or true but it might explain it to an extent. I personally take an instant dislike to anyone called Paula because I was so horrifically bullied by a girl called Paula. Of course it would be ridiculous if I based my opinions of other people called Paula I meet on that experience but my feelings go that way and then I adjust them. So if people feel heterophobic because of their experiences of some straight people, then that is just how they feel - if they continue to make claims about all straight people based on those feelings or insist on disliking them because of it - then that's different.

 

That pool is horribly biased and is missing options. Here's my option:

[x]Couldn't care less.

As long as people live and let live, I don't care about what they are or do with their lives... to each their own, I say.



@Siarad

Daily Mail... I like reading it to have a laugh at all the insanity they produce. One has to wonder just who the heck writes those articles... :roflmao: