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A very disturbing conversation today

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by English Frenchman, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. English Frenchman

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    Hey there,

    As some of you may know, I am living in Benin, West Africa. Anything even remotely LGBT does not exist here in slightest. As in, it’s illegal to be LGBT here and it was punishable by death up until two years ago.
    Now I know all this and I suppose I should be used to it by now. But, I like to believe there’s some hope for this place yet. Which is why today, I engaged in a conversation with two African guys in my class.
    I started by telling them I had a trans friend, who goes to school dressed as a girl and it’s perfectly accepted.
    Their replies were that this was sick and that my friend surely had deep mental issues.
    They proceeded to elaborate their views on gays and lesbians. According to them, LG people are freaks of nature that shouldn’t exist and that God will punish. It was like listening to the Westboro Baptist Church, but worse.
    One of them told me they had been to Gay Pride in Frankfurt and that it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen and that when he saw two guys make out on the bus, he wanted to punch them.
    Last, but far from least, he said that bisexual people were the worst. They can’t decide who to be with so they’re all just sleeping around and living like sluts. It was the Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve kind of thing.
    I kept on insisting that it’s perfectly natural, that God loves all his creations, that being able to love someone, anyone, is right.
    The reply was if he ever met a gay guy and the person even touched him, he would beat him profusely. What’s worse is they believe they’re open minded by saying this.

    I don’t know why this still shocks me. Maybe it’s because I’m in an international school and I expected some more open views. Maybe it’s because I’m silently hoping to one day come out to them. But after what I heard today, that’s never going to happen.

    I just needed to vent this because it was very shocking. But please, share your similar stories.
     
  2. lukeluvznicki13

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    I'm sorry that you had to hear such horrible things like this /:
    You should live in South Africa ;] we're a country that allows same sex marriages and established rights for homosexuals so that everyone is equal in this country no matter what :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I don't have a similar story really soo.... xD
     
  3. MrAllMonday

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    I come from a Muslim community where it is normal to hear these kinds of things. Homosexuals are disliked. You hear stuff like they are mentally disturbed, that they should be beaten up and killed. I have heard this so many times I just gotten used to it.

    Homosexuality is really unpopular in many countries/cultures all over the world. America and EU countries are far more accepting of homosexuality than compared to countries in Africa/Asia.

    I am sorry you have to go through all of that. It is not easy.
     
  4. English Frenchman

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    One of the two Africans is muslim and quoted a passage from the Quran saying that it’s ok to kill gay people :/
     
  5. MrAllMonday

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    Well it does not surprise me he said that. Most Muslim guys I know are very anti-gay. I just feel bad for you having to go through that. It sounds to me as though you handled the situation quite well.
     
  6. English Frenchman

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    In the moment, I suppose you could say so. But it is still deeply troubling to me.
     
  7. greatwhale

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    What you have encountered was nothing less than someone who sees the world and his place in it in completely different ways from you and us. You might as well have been talking to an alien, there will be no convincing these people, nor can they convince us...

    For now, we in the West have the upper hand from an economic and military standpoint, hence, there are safe parts of this world for us, but this mentality will not go away...who knows what the future will be like with forces such as this at play...
     
  8. TheMailman

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    I can't help but wonder what would have happened if you'd have come out to them, in a public place. Imagine their faces.

    But seriously, that's quite horrible. The worst is that they think they're correct and their reason legitimate. I've got a lot of respect for you for handling the situation so well, though.
     
  9. Miss Loopy

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    I've had conversation such as this one and when finished, I've looked them in the eye and said "Ah, look at that. You just managed to hold a conversation for a good half hour with someone you consider inhuman."

    They've all said if they knew someone gay/lesbian/bi they would beat them up, there were a lot more of them than me. They were horrified, but they didn't lay a finger on me. Hehe.
     
  10. gibson234

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    I'm sorry to hear you live in a country like that. If I was you, as soon as you get the chance move to a LGBT friendly country because it could be danagerous you staying in that country. A place that only stopped executing gay people two years ago won't come around for a least hundred years if not more. I no this might sound bad but don't get a boyfriend or anything in that country because it could end very badly.
     
  11. greatwhale

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    You've got some serious brass cojones Miss Loopy! Always best to look them right in the eye (and seriously avoid this in future if you can help it! Safety first!).
     
  12. English Frenchman

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    Oh, do believe me, as soon as I’m done with high school, I’m going off to the UK for University.
    Getting a boyfriend here was a notion so outlandish it barely entered my thought process. It’s a shame really, because I really do quite like being ostracized and possibly putting my life in danger.
     
  13. Miles16

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    People are sick, twisted and fucked in the head. That's why they think that having these kind of views isn't completely stupid and nonsensical and absolutely batshit insane. Can't help where you grow up I guess.
     
  14. bingostring

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    These attitudes in Africa and other places ... makes me extremely sad :icon_sad:
     
  15. Miss Loopy

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    Where's your sense of adventure?!
     
  16. blueberrymuffin

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    You gotta be safe. You're not going to ignite any change in that place. You would just be beaten or worse and that will be the end of it. That includes making arguments like you did. If you keep doing it, they will suspect somethin is up. Believe me, they don't need a "confession" from you to make your life hell.

    Now you're at an international school but still vulnerable to the laws and culture of the area. I'm guessing those kids you argued with will talk to the locals too. So keep your anger in check and think of how you'll be free from there soon.
     
  17. greatwhale

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    I got old...but the above poster is right, best not to argue the point too strongly where you are EF...you never know.
     
  18. English Frenchman

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    I know, I know. I’ve been effective in convincing people I’m completely and totally straight. If I were gay, it would’ve been much harder. The fact that I’m bisexual allows me to convince them I’m only interested in women.

    What’s odd is there is a boy in our school, who’s half cast, who is 100% flaming homosexual.
    I mean, he denies it publicly. But even my gaydar goes off the charts when I see him.
    He’s as gay as can be, yet no one suspects anything. Certain things that would be labelled as homosexual behavior in the West, is just considered normal here. Two guys can hold hands and never even be thought of as gay.
     
  19. greatwhale

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    :confused:... odd indeed!
     
  20. GayNerd

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    This is like when last year, my friend 'A' was saying Gay People shouldn't get married. Yadda yadda yadda, basically he's like they'll go to h*ll and stuff like.

    Guess who I'm never Coming Out to.. :lol: