What if someone apologised?

I would forgive if I knew it was genuine and they admitted they were in the wrong; I would be pissed if they denied that they weren't a bigot.

 

Yeah, a true blue apology. Don't go trying to act like you were never in the wrong. You do that, recognise you were an asshole to whatever degree, and we're good.

 

It depends on how badly they hurt me.

 

I guess it depends on the person and situation

for example I have always been as accepting as possible to the lgbtq+ community, but I have a friend who recently transitioned ftm and when I was talking to him I by accidentally said she I sincerely regret it though and I apologized to him. I will never lie and say I didn't say that but I can't unsay it.
This person forgave me and we are still friends

where as I have a friend (who is an adult) she was one of the first adults I came out to and recently she told my mom that she thought I meant I like animals. This is horrible because my mom is having a hard time getting over the whole pansexual thing to begin with now she is adding bestiality to the equation. This adult denies she ever said that.
I probably wont forgive this person for a while

 

I think its more important that their transition from bigot to non-bigot is genuine. Having an apology and admitting that they were wrong in the past would simply be a bonus.

I would forgive a person who did not apologise but I wouldnt necessarily be their friend or respect them as much as I otherwise would have.

 

For stuff like that...no. Sorry, but I've been told so many apologies that really meant nothing in the end. I'm a hard person to apologize to. Especially over something like that,

 

I don't need apologies, they're so overused that they lost any meaning nowadays.
If someone has to apologize to me, it means they did shit they shouldn't have done in the first place anyway.

If they want to prove to me that things are changing and that they won't repeat the same mistake, then do it with actions instead of empty words. Words don't prove anything, actions do.

 

If someone who was known to be a bigot came up and apologized to me, I'd be like, "OK, let's not fucking talk about it. Just don't say shit like that again."

 

Perhaps it isn't a good enough excuse but people can be so terribly brainwashed by upbringing and beliefs that have been presented to them as facts right from infant-hood.

If you've always been told that being gay, being lesbian, being bisexual, being ftm, mtf, etc is wrong, presented as absolute fact - then suddenly you see/sense some evidence that such thinking might be wrong - it would be earth-shattering. Think The Truman Show - coming to the realisation that everything you ever thought was true is wrong - that doesn't come easily, it's expecting too much of someone that it would. If someone has enough courage and strength to dare to tear their world apart to find the truth and then apologise to you for what they might have said when still living in the illusion - take the apology! Appreciate how difficult admitting to being wrong really is.

 

I'm not the forgiving type. If they're too pusillanimous to admit it, I would instinctively harbor mistrust for them. I would respect the person who admitted they were on wrong a little more, but the person who denies it just sounds too manipulative. That kind of behavior denotes narcissism, the unwillingness to admit to your flaws, and the erasure of anything that make you look bad.

The probability of me forgiving either of them is low. Not because they hurt me, but because I don't think people who exclaim they've changed really have, and I don't have time to surround myself with such toxic people. It's hard to outgrow bigotry, especially if you've imbibed it from a young age, so they would have to prove it somehow if they wanted forgiveness, a second chance, etc. And I'm talking about any kind of bigotry, not just transphobia/homophobia.

 

No. An apology requires the admission of being wrong.

I now identify as a feminist. I am open about the fact that I bought into the ridiculous patriarchal bullshit I was fed. I am now anti-racist. I used to deny the existence of systematic inequality, and I admit that.

To be genuinely apologetic, you need to admit your wrong-doing. Otherwise you're demanding to be given a cookie for being "nice".

 

A real apology would be good.

 

It depends what the action was, how they apologize, and if they actually change their behavior.

 

I am a very forgiving person to be honest...perhaps too forgiving at times

So yes a sincere apology would do it for me

Foxface

 

A sincere apology and time works for me, bad behaviours are seldom one-offs, they were done for a reason, and an apology seldom attacks the root cause. A sincere apology to me means a sincere attempt at changing behaviour, and that takes time, and patience.

 

Yes, a sincere apology backed by actions. If someone never admitted to their bigotry they are just playing games. That would annoy me more than silence.

 

Yes, I'd forgive someone who admitted their mistakes and moved past them.

 

"I'm sorry, although I never hurt people. I won't hurt them either. I have always been in the right; it's your fault if you didn't see it. Now, forgive me for anything I've done and ignore any hurt you feel."

- No, I would not accept that, and they are causing further harm with it. They do not believe they have done wrong, and thus cannot be sincere in apologising. They are refusing to take responsibility and denying the feelings of others. There is no indication that they will change, or even want to.

"I hurt people, and I'm sorry. I will change from now on. I would appreciate help in becoming a better person and healing the hurt I caused, but your needs come first, so don't feel obligated to talk to me if you need space. Because I hurt people, I understand if you don't forgive me at the moment."

- Yes, I would accept that and forgive them, and I would try to do so however bad the harm was. They know they have done wrong, which means they can be sincere. They are taking full responsibility and acknowledging others' feelings. They are probably willing to listen and change.

 

I don´t care a damn about what people say (unless it´s my boyfriend or my parents). I look at their actions.

I have homophobic friends but they are allright with me and that is what counts.
They have shown some improvement in their overall thinking about gays since I came out to them, so that´s a good thing.
I´m not going to expect an apology or talk about the past. Because I don´t care about the past. I care about how they treat me (and think about homosexuality in general) NOW.

I apreciate that and tell them that too. I look at it in a positive way.
The goal is that they think positive about homosexuality and not that they feel guilty. That´s a negative thing which, in my view, won´t make them think more positive about gays in general, so it´s not productive.
Wanting an apology and even in a cerain way is only for YOU to feel better, so it is a one way thing and doesn´t spread.
I believe if we want to spread acceptance, we should reward good behavior (maybe just by ignoring the bad, but one can also encourage people by teling them it really means something to you if they are cool with you after being homophobic) and not get angry or annoyed over how people express themselves.