Not sure where to put this. It doesn't seem to belong in the advice section, but if the mods wish to move it, you can. For reasons semi-unknown to me, I decided to talk to the college therapist, and she mentioned something interesting. She said she considers rituals to mark change and new beginings to be very important, and that transition is one such occasion that needs to be honored in that way. She says she thinks the 'shadow' of my past is still affecting my present, and she may be right. Anyway, so back to the topic at hand. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Do you think its a good idea? And any ideas for what I (or anyone else) might do?
Rituals as in a religious ritual or what? I guess I don't understand what she means, but I would be offended if a therapist told me that I need to do some sort of nonsense ritual just because I'm going through a life change. Putting your trust into a ritual doesn't help. Putting your trust in your own personal strength does.
What, like a party? Long before, I considered having a faux-memorial, like the kind you have for a Scroogish distant aunt who kicks kittens- a reason for finger sandwiches- but you can see why that's a really, really awful idea on my part.
Bury any of your leftover feminine belongings (IE, clothes, jewelry, pictures of you pre-t, etc.) There's no reason for anything extravagant.
As for what she meant, she didn't give me any more information that what I gave you. I'm assuming she meant some kind of significant act to mark change, or whatever. I'm not offended, but I'm also not sure if its for me. I doubt she meant religious, since she knows I'm an atheist. Yeah, I transitioned nearly three years ago. I don't have anything like that left. Now that would be interesting.
Yeah I was going to say, I thought that going through and getting rid of any male/female clothing or accessories and replacing them with a new closet of male/female clothes was the "ritual" of making the transition. Perhaps I'm wrong. I don't really know that much about being transgender.
I'm getting a tattoo. I've already started it, back when I was sure I was being honest with myself about this gender thing. I plan to add to it only when I feel I've made significant strides in my transition, but deeper than that, when I've made significant strides in accepting myself. Right now it's only the very center of the piece, just the linework, but eventually I plan to add color, lettering, and other parts of the design. I suppose, in a way, it's a bit of a ritualistic piece. My goal is to complete it over the course of my lifetime - if I "win", then I'll know I've achieved deep self-acceptance, something that seems impossible to me sometimes from where I stand now. Another "ritual" I've done that might be great for transition is what I've dubbed "The Burning Ritual". The short of it is that you write things down that you want to get rid of or are hoping to let go of and burn them. For a transition theme, you could write a letter to your old self and give her a proper goodbye. Sprinkle the ashes somewhere, maybe somewhere you never go, or somewhere you used to love, and leave them. It sounds sort of silly when I write it out like this but it's strangely liberating, especially when what you write about is something that was weighing you down for a while.
I thought of chanting gibberish words while a crowd of men surrounded me chanting "Ook tak! Tak tak!" When I found out I was gay. Oh- not that kind of ritual?
