I sort of started this in another section, but I felt it was starting to get off topic so I will continue here. I feel that the LGBT, as a hole, has not really been picking their battles very wisely. As it stands right now, someone could say "That's gay!" on TV, then have a huge scandal on their hands as everyone raises their torches and pitchforks screaming "Burn the homophobe!" The original topic I started this rant on was referring to an article I found about a young girl making international headlines to fight apples definition of the word "gay." I think apple is right in this case, "gay" is rarely even associated with homosexual anymore, outside the phrase "I'm gay!" or "She's gay" etc. What I am saying is, there is a HUGE difference between a "gay club" and a "club that's gay." I'll give you an example that I feel accurately depicts this difference. "Hey, wanna go to Smokies?" "No that club's gay, Let's try that new gay club that just opened up." "Sounds good." We as a community are trying to get across one message, let us live our lives, but we seem to over complicate it with nitpicking, and kicking up a huge fuss over the smallest things. Personally, I would MUCH rather live in a world where I could visit Russia without being thrown in Jail, or a world without the west baptist church then live in a world where people weren't allowed to say the word "Gay" in a negative construct. People always over do it with civil rights movements, to the point where it alienates everyone else. Race for example, it's hard to even refer to the black community without the fear of sounding racist, because a movement seeking for equality became a witch hunt for racists. I'm gay, the gay community exists, were not some secret society that's taboo for anyone but member's to speak about, we're not Fight Club. I just want people to stop caring, I want to be able to say, "By the way I'm gay," and to have them reply "Pfft, I don't care, let's hang out!" I don't want people to feel awkward around me because I'm gay, or to feel as though they need pick their words carefully around me, that would just make me feel isolated. That's just my thoughts, am I alone in this?
Here's the thing: when people say that something is gay in a negative context, it makes being gay sound like a bad thing. We can argue vocabulary and the English language all day long, but when little Timmy realizes that he's gay, and the only time he ever hears the word gay is in a negative context, then he's going to have emotional issues. He's not going to want to accept that he's gay, and he's going to want to change, which I know too well that changing your sexuality is impossible. And that is why I think it's wrong to say that "something is gay" when you really mean that "something is bad"
You are very right in saying that. It seems everywhere you look someone is saying "don't be such a homo!" or "So and so is a fag." For almost my entire life I was insulted if someone suggested I was a lesbian. It wasn't until I was about twenty that I finally accepted the fact that I like girls. Homophobia is a huge problem in our world, and it's not going away because we sign a petition, or picket a building, it will only go away if we change peoples perception about being gay, and arguing over the usage of words isn't going to do that. Homophobia will only begin to fade when the world starts seeing us as people, not a symbol for gender preference. I've met plenty of homophobic people in my life, and I try my hardest to get along with them. I overlook their hate, and try to get to know them as a person, let them know me as a person. I don't tell them I'm gay until I feel we know each other, and I feel I've changed more minds by doing that than if I came out in full battle attire. Sure, some still want to burn me at a stake, but others actually begin to rethink their views. Being gay is about love, so why not use it to fight hate?
Really?????? I'm going to start referring to everything I don't like as "Swedish female" from now on. Get used it. Don't complain or I'll say you're picking the wrong fight. Obviously this is an awful thing for me to do, anyone can see that. It's exactly the same as using 'gay' as a negative synonym.
What I mean is that, and perhaps this is wishful thinking, that it's better to disassociate it rather than letting it continue being a reference to homosexuality. Truth is, I completely agree that it was wrong to start using the term "gay" in the first place, but it's so wide spread now that stopping it's use is virtually impossible. I'm only saying disassociation could be beneficial, if gay stopped meaning exclusively homosexual, (and Happy) then perhaps it would take out some of the sting. Sticks and stones.
But it does mean homosexual. We aren't just going to give up and let our moniker be used exclusively as a slur because... well for really no reason at all that can I see other than it is already occasionally being used as a slur. In my experience it is being used negatively less than it has been in the recent past anyway. I rarely see or hear gay being used to mean something other than 'homosexual'. I saw it used on another forum (entirely unrelated to queer issues) and that person got torn to pieces by everyone else for using it in that way. New Zealand's prime minister last year jokingly referred to someone wearing a 'gay red shirt' and he got ripped a new one by the media. We've already won this fight - it's just taking a little while for some people to realise it.
I definitely agree. Obviously, we do need to fight every fight at some point. Saying "that's so gay" is wrong. However, I'd much rather deal with that than seeing the stories about gay kids who killed themselves because they were bullied or abused or tortured, or don't even get me started on the whole Russia mess. I'll say it now, just like I've been saying....we have to focus, or we won't get anywhere.
I think we are more than capable of fighting the gay definition battle as well as Russia/Uganda et al.
I agree that we should fight hate with love. But we also have to stand firm in our beliefs and let them be known. Yes, we should choose our battles wisely, but that means that there will be battles that we have to fight. I hate fights, I hate confrontation, and I hate conflict, but I have to fight if I'm ever going to be happy.
Precisely. It's a false dichotomy to say it's either one or the other. These issues are almost always intrinsically linked anyway so if you're fighting one you're fighting them all regardless. 'Giving up' or 'postponing' the fight on one particular problem really isn't going to make any other issue get resolved faster. All it will do is make overall progress slower.
I guess we will just drive this one into the ground. I've got the keys. I see the folks who don't even understand us, who think that we are evil devil spawn. Spending so much damn time worrying about trivial things doesn't seem very plausible. Or maybe.....maybe it's more like some of us just don't care? (Oh, yeah, I just went there.) I've definitely seen enough to know that I frankly don't care as much about kids saying "that's so gay" as when a "friend" tried to attack me in front of my peers while screaming "fag." Maybe it's more along those lines.
The difference is, rooting out negative/frivolous use of the word "gay" is a battle that can be won. And I believe it would have a ripple effect far outstripping any grander-seeming wins like legalized SSM.
