Any ideas on how to tell if a girl is lesbian? I know girls who really look pretty straight - long hair, etc. - but you really can't tell. I have long hair, and so does my first girlfriend. How else can you tell if a girl is gay? I think with guys it's slightly easier.
Well you can't really tell as you said, you know? But maybe if they're wearing something rainbow like a bracelet, they could be somewhere on the spectrum.
OK so I posted a thread a while back asking what people thought about gaydar and how they were able to tell if a girl was gay. The best answer came from pgame311 This is what they had to say: "I think it's less gaydar and more just being attune to things. Basically, I do think I'm pretty good at telling, but I keep it to myself most of the time. The reason I say I'm good is because back in high school, I had a very masculine friend who was a hockey player and always knew he was gay—he came out last year. I have a friend now with a girlfriend, but I know he's gay, just not ready to admit it—he flirts with me incessantly and accidentally (maybe lol) left a whole bunch of material up on his computer before letting me borrow it. There was a butch girl who everybody says was a lesbian, she's just butch—has apparently done well with guys at college. I have another friend who everybody thinks is gay, but I know he's bi, not gay. How do I know this? - Eye contact - Physicality - Inflection/Subject Matter during conversation - Sincerity when talking about respective sexes - Knowing families/situations And all of this equates to KNOWING the person. I think it's impossible to tell about somebody you don't know, but two of these were people I spend/spent a great deal of time with professionally, and the others are close friends. You've got to remove yourself, remove your own wishful thinking. As much as I want to have one particular person come out to me, I've got to just accept their across-the-room eye contact, suggestive comments, and flamboyant/homoerotic material until they're ready and open. Otherwise, speculation can lead to type-casting and stereotypes before you meet a person. So, basically, yes, gaydar exists, but only after you've known the person—not the gay." Hope this helped.
very much what angel said you have to know the person, it is very much possible for someone to be very female and very butch and still completely straight, just that they were either raised different or like to dress different or have certain hobbies, and NOT at all be attracted to anyone of the same gender same way with guys - I have met metrosexuals whole were totally straight - they just really liked being neat and fashionable so you have to get to know the person plus there is of course the total other side the lipstick lesbian - looks totally straight - and is not
Yeah, angel's post from pcgame311 got it down I think. It's definitely more about body language and other factors. For example, I feel very strongly that these two male WWE wrestlers are each at least somewhere on the spectrum, because you can just tell they're really into each other based off body language, particular eye contact, and actions, etc. But you still can't assume their exact sexuality, cause one could be straight with exceptions and the other gay; or one could be bi and the other pan, etc. You would never really know unless they were being honest and told you themselves/came out.
Sounds good to me! Wishful thinking, I suppose. I feel like it is often easier to tell with guys, but of course even then you simply cannot be entirely sure. I hate coming out to other girls, though, because it usually turns out that they're straight and really have trouble understand how a person could be gay. Not always in, like, a hateful way, but in a way that's just like, "How can you not be into guys?" I had one girl tell me it was because I hadn't had sex with a guy, and that really every girl needed a penis in her life.
It's funny you asked this. I was thinking about posting something similar. I was at a gay bar this weekend and I was dancing with women all night. Right at close when we were waiting for a cab, this guy came up to me and said "I assume you're straight?" Of course I said no. His response? "Oh! You dance like a straight girl." Do lesbians have a certain way they dance? I didn't think so. I'm thinking that it was my looks that threw him off. I've gotten that I 'look straight' because of my long hair, make up and choice of clothes and I find it so unfair that other lesbians usually don't approach me because of it. I would say, approach women even if they don't 'look gay'. There is no way you can tell if a woman (or man) is gay unless you are upfront and ask them. You could be missing out on meeting your next girlfriend if you don't.
Wait? Were suppose to wear rainbow stuff? Well, I suppose it would make things easier, but what if I don't want to wear rainbow?? And the easiest way to tell is to walk up to them and ask them if they are gay. If the answer is yes, they may tell you, blush, look embarassed or even just walk away, and if they arn't, they will tell you, and maybe throw drink in your face >)<
Even if you can narrow it down with body language... A girl who checks out other girls? That only indicates that she isn't straight. She could be bi, or pan, or something else altogether.
I would talk to the girl if under suspicion. I would mention LGBT related stuff and notice if she gets uneasy or excited. If she gets uneasy or excited, she's probably bi or even gay. If she responds normally, she's not.
I would go with what's in angel's post. You can't really tell by anyone's looks but it is sometimes possible to get an insight once you get to know them. I'm usually better at telling if someone who everyone thinks is gay isn't but there have been other people too who, even although they don't fit the stereotypes at all I've picked up on (my ex-girlfriend being one). I'd always let them come out or not say anything to anyone - it's not my place. From what you're saying your asking because you want to see if someone would be interested in you so getting to know them probably isn't a bad shout anyway. Good luck with them!
