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Romantic different from sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RainbowVomiter, Nov 23, 2013.

  1. RainbowVomiter

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    Anyone else have their sexual and romantic orientations 'mismatched'? :slight_smile: (homoromantic bisexual, panromantic homosexual, polyromantic asexual, etc...) Did it make it harder to figure out your orientation? Do you identify more with one or the other? Is it difficult to explain to people?
     
  2. AtheistWorld

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    I'm Demisexual, and while I think it would be possible to fall for a guy, the likelihood of it happening is so inconsequential I don't even consider it happening. In cis mode I identify as a heteroromantic Asexual, while in girl mode I identify as Panromantic, but dating a man would conflict with my other gender, so I don't think I could ever be with a guy.

    What confounded me during my teens is that I had a crush on a male friend that lasted for quite some time, and I experienced lust for him until the crush diminished. For the longest time I thought I was Bisexual, not knowing that Demisexuality existed back then, nor fully appreciating I was Bigender yet. To be engulfed in lust for a man really confused me and left me kinda shook up because I hated the idea of being Bisexual. I knew I was Bigender, but I was trying to bury it with the hope that it would go away on its own.

    The confusion could've been avoided if I was aware of the various sexual orientations that existed and if I had realized that my genders also had different orientations.
     
  3. maracont

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    Hi!
    1. Didn't make it harder, just took me a little more time to pinpoint.
    2. Identify with one more than the other? I don't understand the question.
    3. I sort of make it easier for them to understand by saying I like women, but would only date a guy.
     
  4. RainbowVomiter

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    Interesting responses. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2013 at 11:15 PM ----------

    Well, for instance, some homoromantic bisexuals consider themselves more of and come out as lesbian/gay, while others feel closer to the bisexual identity.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2013 at 11:20 PM ----------

    As for me, my sexuality was quite confusing until I learned about romantic orientation! Finally, I could explain how my attraction to genders besides female did not seem as "strong". I tend to go with bi/pansexual, though I don't mind being called a lesbian (providing someone's not telling me I "can't" be attracted to more than one gender).
     
  5. resu

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    I'm gay and only attracted to men, but I still have kind of semi-romantic feelings when I see a pretty girl who seems nice. It's kind of that "If I was straight, I would have a crush on you" feeling. Sometimes I make the mistake of complimenting a girl and then realizing later she might have thought I was interested in her.
     
  6. SeaMist

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    Being a biromantic homosexual definitely made to a little harder for me to figure out my orientation;I remember at one point feeling like I was a bisexual girl who didn't like guys. It's also made coming out harder because I don't feel bi at all, but coming out as a lesbian would make it impossible to be in a romantic relationship with a guy. Actually, it's probably the biggest reason why I'm not totally out yet- I don't want to have to explain all the intricacies of my sexuality to people who actually don't care and aren't going to try to understand. I think I do identify more with my lesbian side, though.
     
  7. The_Poets

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    My sexuality is very fluid, that is the main reason I identify as pan.
    I am more likely panromantic asexual or panromantic homosexual I have been attracted to men a lot before but the idea kind of scares me/grosses me out. I had a huge crush on my trans ftm friend before and also on a gay guy I know, but in general I like the idea of girls more than of boys. Although I wanted to be a gay male for a while (I am a very weird person). Then again i'm only 14 so I have a while to figure out the whole sexual attraction thing.
     
  8. Fairybread

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    Panromantic asexual here - and I guess I identify more with the panromantic part. Having them "mismatched" did make it a little harder for me to work out, cos I couldn't understand my feelings/attractions very well.