Coming out: Worst thing you've heard

"You are your biology. It's science."

Apparently, biology isn't her forte if she really believes that.

I'm sorry but that's so effing stupid I have to wash my brain out with some Richard Dawkins now.

 

"If you go through with this, you're dishonoring your father."

Now that's just evil. Using your father in such an underhanded way, especially now, really shows how low she is. I really hope you can find a way to move out if she's gonna be that inconsiderate, shortsighted, and heartless. I bet it scarified you, hearing her talk like that.

 

"Transgenders are just people who never grew up past the 'playing house' stage of life. They should just learn to deal with what they're given and get mental help in order to learn how to do that."

"Why do you want to mutilate yourself?"

And the big slap in the face, "I don't have a son, I have a daughter."

 

The worst things that happened to me was 5 yrs ago at Christmas. I had came out the previous Thanksgiving, and my Mom told me I was no longer her daughter, and not welcome in her house. My Dad however overruled that, so when Christmas came around I thought things had blown over. Since I was no longer allowed in the kitchen to help Mom, I was in the living room talking to my 2 yr old niece. My Mother came out of the kitchen and happened to look in my direction. She then walked over, scopped up my niece and walked back into the kitchen. My niece looked very surprised. Since the kitchen is an actual separate room from the living room, I couldn't see or hear what was going on, but my sister came out holding my niece, and put her down on the floor.

I asked my sister what was going on, and she just rolled her eyes and said don't worry about it. I stupidly pressed her on it. She told me Mom told her someone needed to watch her (my niece) because I was playing with her. My sister asked what do you mean by playing and she admitted it was just talking. My sister said "so?" and my Mother said "so?" back, like it was supposed to be obvious. My sister said, "Mom, just because she likes adult girls instead of guys doesn't mean she likes little girls too." My Mother said, "How do you know? If she's into 1 perversion, who knows what else she's into?"

After that, I haven't been back, and I realize now that was a mistake. I don't mean going to her house, but not going down there (South) and seeing my brothers and sisters family, and seeing my Dad. I basically just let her win, and that was wrong of me. She may have changed or she might not have, but I am going there this weekend regardless. I'm not ashamed of who I am, and if things get ugly, I'll just walk out and go to my brothers and sisters, where I know I'll at least be treated civilly.

As bad as I though that was, the worst thing I heard didn't happen to me. I have a platonic friend who is a lesbian, and is in a arranged marriage. She just lets her husband screw her every now and then, because it it her duty, but has a girlfriend on the side who she loves. She can't just divorce him and come out, because she thinks she would be killed, even though she's in the U.S. (honor killing) I feel so sorry for her but there's nothing I can do. Hearing that though gave me a different perspective on my own situation.

 

People say they understand, but the next day they act as if I never told them anything...and when I ask them about it, they ask me if I'm sure of what I said.

 

People tell me that I'm confused, that I'm only what's between my legs and that no matter what, I'm always going to be a woman.

Bah. :dry:

 

"Don't tell anyone else in the family. Your <insert relative> wouldn't understand."

 

Yeah one of the things my mum said was "Who's gonna want you?" lol cause having a relationship is so vital to life. And I can get with someone if I want when I'm more aligned, but god... :rolle:

Oh and she also said something along the lines of it being hard (being a trans person, and the way she said it, as if I was choosing this shit lol). And look at you've been doing mother dearest, you certainly haven't been helping things. You're part of what makes shit "harder" than it needs to be! You're part of the problem, use the right pronouns and name already, it's been a fucking year!

 

After i came out to my pops, who was at first being really supportive, got upset when I brought this guy I was talking to over and told me "I don't wanna see that nigga over here again!" I was sooo mad I started to cry and really wanted to fight him over it. When I told the guy I was talking to about it, needless to say, it didn't work out.

 

I wish I could give you a big hug!! And your friend. And everyone in this post. (&&&)
And that I could slap your mother... sorry, I know she's your mother, but still... I just don't get how anyone could see being gay or bi as a perversion, it just feels right. :bang:

 

"Are you sure you're gay?"

"We think you're pushing yourself to be this way."

Those were from my parents, and then there was one person who threw a couple of f bombs at me when I first came out at 15, that kind of hurt.

 

I'm in the closet and I have the following thrown at me:

1. Your such a girl
2. Your so gay (in a bad way)
3. Your not a man, your a f wuss
4. Your a f****t
5. Your a filthy homo
6. You know your going to hell right?
7. Why do you act like such a girl?
8. Are you a girl?

Bla bla bla

Don't know which one is the worst really. I guess it sounds worse when it is spoken in my mother tongue (Urdu).

Probably number 8 upsets me the most. Nothing upsetting being called a girl but I do wish people would stop judging me on my appearance and try to get to know me rather than belittle me. I think people forget I am a human and have some feelings/emotions.

 

"Please don't tell your grandparents that you're dating a girl. They'll blame it on me."

That one was from my mother. It wasn't when I totally came out to my parents, but six months later, when my grandparents were going to be visiting for a week. It just hurt because she didn't seem to care about the fact that they might disown me, she only cared about herself and how she'd be treated after. Thanks. :dry:

I also came out to one of my friends, and she told me happily, "Oh, that's okay! You're just confused, you'll find out what you like later on! Just haven't decided!" I just kinda sighed and explained that wasn't how it worked for me.

 

Okay well I'm not actually out but I still have heard some bad ones.

The best (sarcasm intended) was my mother discussing my gay cousin and why she doesn't like him
"He's a fag. Fag's aren't normal"
And another one from her (on a discussion on gay marriage)
"I think it should be legalised. I mean honestly I think being gay should be illegal but that can't happen so let them marry"
(I really wasn't sure if I should be happy she supports gay marriage, or sad because she said being gay should be illegal.
And I've been called a filthy fu**ing faggot before as well. Anyway those are fun lines to reflect on.

 

"Are you sure you're not just confused? Just think about it some more. I don't think you are."

Now, this may not seem that bad. But when you insult me by telling me that I have been confused for the past 21 years and that all I need to do is "think about it some more" I get fucking angry. Those comments are all from my family by the way, which I gave a verbal lashing for it. I rarely can get angry, but that really set me off.

 

Is this just because you've given up on your ability to date girls?

 

Thanks (*hug*) They were both looking for something or someone to blame for me being a lesbian, perhaps I'll show them that news story in the news section, about "Demon sex makes you gay."

I'm going back home this weekend to have a talk with them, without the other family members being there. I'm not hoping for acceptance, just civility. If that doesn't work, I can always leave and drive over to my brother and sisters house. In addition to my sisters girl, I've got a new nephew to see, plus my brothers fiance. She already knows about me and is cool with it. We've talked on skype, but it's better in person.