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Concealing attraction

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Hexagon, Nov 28, 2013.

  1. Hexagon

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    Do you ever feel the need to hide same sex attraction, even when you're out? For many people, 'acceptance' seems to be conditional on us not being attracted to them, and being discreet about our attractions in general.
     
  2. drwinchester

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    Yeah, all the time. I don't get it but since I don't pass well, there's always this worry that if I check out guys or admit male attraction, I'll be less likely to be taken for male. :\
     
  3. lukeluvznicki13

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    Yes that is for me when it comes to talking about my attractions with friends.
    Like if I talk to my gay friend, I'm fine about talking about the guys I like, but for other people I think they would find it awkward etc.
     
  4. kageshiro

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    Depends. I'm normally covert about checking guys out. How much I enjoy Sam Claflin's face is fairly public information by now though <3
     
  5. Awkward Balloon

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    Not at all. I will look at guys in public and only if I'm noticed I'll make my watching more discrete. I comfortably compliment my straight friends about their looks and all seem to be fine with it. I mean my guy friends make it blatantly obvious when they're checking out a girl, and I'd feel too left out if I didn't do the same.
     
  6. Thedistra

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    Not really. I'll check someone out anytime and any day around anyone. I won't be "pigish" about it of course.

    Now I certainly won't talk about it if I feel it will make someone uncomfortable(If it's family member whom is uncomfortable I just might as a joke). I hope for the same from people interested in males as well.
     
  7. Mrtambourineman

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    Im crap at sneakily checking someone out...I just stare really creepily.....
     
  8. do you mean out as in 'out' or out as in a public place out?
    am i the only one confused haha?
     
  9. Tzoa

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    Yeah, I hide it. A cute girl walked by and complimented my outfit the other day, and when she was gone I almost turned to my friend who was with me to say, "Wow, she was super cute!" But I didn't... Which is ridiculous, because 1) I know my friend supports LGBT issues and 2) I've talked about our school's LGBT club so often and have expressed my dismay that no other women were in it, so she might have a clue already.

    As for checking people out... I never really checked out guys when I thought I was straight, but sometimes I have to stop myself from ogling a cute girl.
     
  10. freeskies

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    when it comes to checking out, i always glance in the direction of a hot/cute guy momentarily, unless, i'm in a position where nobody can see me stare voraciously at him, then, i'm all eyes :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  11. Yossarian

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    I check out other guys at the gym all the time; everyone seems to do it to some extent so it doesn't seem to imply attraction. Mirrors make it possible to do so somewhat discretely since you can be looking in a different direction than that which your head and eyes seem to be pointed. So the answer is that I do so discretely, while not being apparently discrete about it. People seem to assume everyone there is straight, or at least they act like they do, and I don't think I have ever seen anyone there who acts or dresses like they are gay and "out", so the issue doesn't come up.

    In the locker room, where more is sometimes showing and there aren't mirrors, everyone seems to make a point of not staring, including me; I would call this avoiding displaying same sex attraction, but it probably is just more like modesty or self-consciousness. Some people actually shower wearing swimsuits or underwear, so maybe there is something going on or being perceived as going on that I am not clueing in on.
     
  12. EleanorHunter

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    Generally, I don't have to hide it to the people I'm out to. The majority of my straight girlbuds even think that me liking other girls is cute, and will ask me a lot of questions. Still, I'll talk about it more with certain people than I will with others, depending on who they are.
     
  13. SixesAndSevens

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    Ha! So I'm not the only one then... I've always been inclined to stare and it seems I'm not getting any better at making it more discreet!
     
  14. myheartincheck

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    Well, I was out in California and even then I never really talked about my crushes or anything. I mean, nobody really ever seems to want to know LoL

    Now that I live in a red state and am staying with relatives until I get on my feet I'm more closeted than I have been in a long time. I can't talk about my girl. :icon_sad:
     
  15. resu

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    Most of the times, yes I conceal it, especially if the guy I'm looking at notices. I go through this hyper-rationalization in my head to just stop looking for the rest of the time he's "in range." I am very good at appearing asexual. Sadly, that may be why I can count on my hands the number of times people have asked if I have a girlfriend. Only recently, as I've slowly inched closer to coming out, have I not less afraid to hold eye contact or actually seem interested.
     
  16. MrAllMonday

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    I try my best not to appear gay but it doesn't work. So meh whatever.
     
  17. blueberrymuffin

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    Nah i don't hide it. I'll stop looking if i think it'd be rude to continue or i just lose interest. If someone asked what i'm looking at i would just compliment his looks. If he wants to freak out that's his problem.
     
  18. Saint Otaku

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    I'm still a minor, so I need to be careful about who I tell or else I could be at risk for an "intervention" from my parents' church! D:
     
  19. spockbach

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    Yes! I'm always afraid of friends thinking I'm attracted to them. And the hardest part is that I often am!
     
  20. BryanM

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    I feel that I shouldn't flirt with guys I think are cool even when they know I'm gay. I guess it's just because I don't know how they'd react if I did.