What is a "crush"?

My very unofficial definition is: someone you're really interested in and find yourself thinking about a lot, romantically and/or sexually. Sometimes your mind wanders to them when you're supposed to be focused on other things. Like mine is right now trying to focus on this post...

 

Infatuation, basically. This is what most people are referring to when they say they're "in love" with someone. Your post might as well have been written by me, since I didn't get my first real crush until I was 21 or so, which took me completely by surprise. It involved constantly thinking, dreaming, and talking about said person, feeling a tugging in my chest when they weren't around, wanting to spend all my time with them, and of course... blushing whenever someone mentioned them. Then there was the "break up", after which I'd cry out of nowhere for days...

 

A person who you could imagine a future with, and are connected with on more than an emotional level.

Basically a friend you also want to cuddle.

A fruddle. I made that word up.

 

For me it would be thinking endlessly about the person in question, observing them (aka really obvious staring! :eusa_doh, worrying about them when they're not around, heart racing when they're near, only seeing the good in them, imagining what it would be like to be with them. Yep, that pretty well sums up the crush I had on a straight lad a couple of years ago. Unfortunately tied with the "crushing" feeling knowing that it could never work for me at least.

 

I know I have a crush when I get a little adrenaline rush being in contact.

 

A crush is when I like a guy and then flip the switch and imagine him all dirty. As in he may not be clean.

 

This is a picture of a crush

 

Infatuation at it's worst.

 

This pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. It's when you can't get them out of your head, you get excited about seeing them and your heart races when you notice them walking towards you. And when they smile at you or laugh at your jokes you feel like you can do anything. And then you realise it's not going to work out and you feel utterly crushed. Good times.

 

Crushes are these wonderful things that give you adrenaline rushes when you talk to that special someone and ruin your studying when you spend hours upon hours staring at them in class and dreaming about them when you really ought to be working. They're these pangs of regrets that you get when he leaves and it's the cause for those tears when you realise that your relationship is impossible. I guess you could say that crushes are like snippets of love anyone can get with time

 

Stephen Fry adequately described my thoughts in the subject:

“And then I saw him and nothing was ever the same again.

The sky was never the same colour, the moon never the same shape: the air never smelt the same, food never tasted the same. Every word I knew changed its meaning, everything that once was stable and firm became as insubstantial as a puff of wind, and every puff of wind became a solid thing I could feel and touch.”

For me, it's a rare phenomenon. But when it strikes it is all-consuming and life-altering - as explained by Mr. Fry.

 

Crushing is like being high, or addicted while love is more like strong connection that feels like it's a part of you.

 

Infatuation differs from true love in that love isn't as intense a feeling, and some might describe it as boring compared to infatuation, but it isn't even once you're at that stage where you're comfortable with each other on every level.

The number one difference between love and infatuation is that infatuation causes that one thing people do where they spend nearly all of their free time with you. That gets tiresome after a while and I've seen countless relationship fail because people can't understand that spending too much time together is an unhealthy relationship. Simply put, with infatuation the passion wanes and fizzles out just as quickly as it started in most cases.

In real love people aren't so possessive and clingy with their loved ones to the point they're drowning out the rest of their social life. Both people should be happy and fulfilled in a relationship, whereas eventual, being as unhealthy and toxic as it is, is always bothersome to the other person in the relationship. I had an ex who was very manipulative and clingy and she would use guilt trips to try to make me spend even more time with her. It was all really draining, and I eventually ended the relationship.

I may seem heartless, but it was such a relief once it was all over, and the succubus was gone from my life for good. There's more I haven't said, but she was a depraved person with serious issues and she was beyond my help.

I hope one day to find a girl who loves me, appreciates me, makes my heart melt, falls asleep with me, shares my passions, and is just enjoyable to be around. Is that too much to ask?

And I want to do the same thing the girl would do for me: hold hands, share a warm embrace, cook for her, write love notes, go for walks. I want companionship and I want it to last. I feel that life is love, and since I don't have any love in my life that I'm not even living. If I knew the rest of my life were loveless I think suicide would be preferable over this.

 

For me, having a crush is that step right before I say I actually like a person. Usually I get attracted to them first and I mentally see if this could actually work or if a friend has dating them and I don't want problems. I usually don't keep crushes long. This is probably just me as this is how I keep myself from getting hurt too much.

 

Roflmbo :roflmao:

 

I think of it as infatuation.
I've had one for 5 years. I don't act on it because I'm happy just observing their life from afar and online.

Infatuation is a terrible thing, making people think of someone else in a completely positive way is dangerous..

 

Damn I meant to post that rant in the other thread, not this one. Oh well.