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Success with online dating?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gibson234, Nov 29, 2013.

  1. gibson234

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    I haven't had much success so far. I've essentially been rejected by half the gay men within 200km of me. Tbf I've only been doing it for about a month. Have any of you guys had success with online dating or at least had someone message you. The only person who has message me was a 60 year old man.
     
  2. Daydreamer1

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    Online dating has been really mixed with me. Much of it failed because of problems with communication, trust, and feeling like only one person was doing the work in the relationship. (and yes, I've had people make the first move)

    Right now, my partner and I have been going strong even though we're over 1,000 miles apart.
     
  3. BookDragon

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    I've only had 1 person I like message me, and I spoke to them first...but even that is better than offline so I'll roll with it...
     
  4. AtheistWorld

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    Online dating is a waste of time.
     
  5. gibson234

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    Has does one find a boyfriend then? Is it impossible for but the most attractive people.
     
  6. Love is love, doesn't matter how people meet. Can't hurt to try it. :slight_smile:
     
  7. BookDragon

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    The advantage of course is that at least if you're not stunning you get the chance to throw your personality our there too! Although I must admit even though I'm messaging someone I like right now and they are responding I don't think it will go anywhere.

    Apparently the accepted convention is to meet through a friend of a friend...which is fine if you have sociable friends, but all mine live elsewhere or don't know anybody so it's basically my only option right now.
     
  8. Johneh

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    It was successfull for me.
     


  9. so far I have met at least 4 people I can prove to be scam artists that I reported to the FBI though I actually had to learn the hard way the first time by getting scammed and loosing my rent an more money - totally broke for a month.


    no one has been willing to really meet me IRL or even actually speak to me - and I have even PAID for some, been on them for years

     
  10. I want to give online dating a try, but I'm too nervous to make an account.
     
  11. Tim

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    I know 2 people in successful long-distance online relationships. Both are engaged and intend to move to where the person they're dating lives soon.

    However, I've also seen my fair share of them crash and burn, which is why I'm skeptical about ever trying it, xD
     
  12. Jinkies

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    Right, because meeting my boyfriend on Skype, who can't seem to think of anything big enough to express his love to me was a complete waste of time. Going to Youmacon together this year, where we had the time of our lives (and also began a turning point with him) was completely pointless, and so was my trip to England in August, when I met him in person for the first time. Every event we had in England, including seeing Les Miserables in Piccadilly Circus, going to various museums and going on The Eye are just things I should forget. Finding out that with each time I see him in person again, I seem to get more aroused and my appreciation increases, that's all just a bunch of nonsense. All because I met him online.

    The thing is, I've seen online dating work. I'm not talking about those adverts that they shove on TV. I'm talking about my aunt and uncle. My aunt had gone through several men who all did illegal drugs like cocaine and heroine, didn't truly respect her wishes, and thought they were king of the world. It started to look like she'd never have someone to be with. And although it wasn't entirely something dire or desperate, it's not the best thing anybody can think of. My aunt met someone truly amazing online, someone who's lived in Hawaii for the majority of his life. The only qualm I have about her husband is that on Facebook, he looks like a child. But the man is truly one of the most loving people I've ever come across. The big difference between him and any of the other guys is that if you asked him if he loved his wife, he'd look you straight in the eye, and say "Yes" as seriously as he possibly can, something almost completely out of character for him. Everyone else would just wave it off as "Yeah, I love her". They've been married for over 5 years, at this point. And it doesn't look like they're separating.

    When I last met them (Last year, I think?), I told my uncle I was in an online relationship, and if he had any tips about it. This is what he said:

    "It's just like any other relationship. If someone's in it out of insecurity and/or they want attention, it's not going to work. For a relationship to work, both parties have to put their share (which is their all) into the relationship. They have to make the necessary sacrifices for the other person because they want to be with them, and they can't think of themselves NOT being with that person. That has to be both parties."

    I've taken that and I've applied that into the relationship I have. While at first, there were some qualities about my boyfriend I didn't like, I still stayed with him and did my best to make him feel better without stroking his ego. One of the last things I remember my boyfriend saying to me when I was leaving England was that if he had any doubts about staying with me, they were gone. Whether or not that's true is not something I know. But I'm not really sure if that should matter to me. I'm not going to assume anything, but I'm still going to stick with him, unless he says otherwise. There are thousands of reasons for us not to be together. A big one is that there's an entire ocean and about 20 states between us. Someone's move is going to be bigger than the other's, that's for sure. But if both of us are still willing to make that move (And I've raised my hand to it more than enough times), I think we're in pretty good shape. Because there's a small quote I remember from someone I follow, and I think it rings really true. He said it out of frustration, but I love it:

    A person behind a computer screen is still a person.

    If our signatures could hold more quotes, that would be number 3.
     
  13. LD579

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    How do you define success in this case? Is it about finding a longterm partner? Is it about making connections? Is it about learning more about yourself and what you want in a relationship, regardless of whether anything develops or not?

    Personally, all three sound like success to me; in other words, success is not just about getting a longterm partner — far from it. That's rare for everyone, practically. However, online dating's an option that we can choose to use or not. There are issues with it, but there are upsides, too. All-in-all, I think online dating can be quite nice to have around.
     
  14. KazTastic

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    Relationships in general are a waste of time. We all die alone in the end.

    To the OP: Try getting a job that makes you work really long hours. If you're working 12-16 hours a day, you'll be too tired to worry about dating or relationships.
     
  15. thekillingmoon

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    I never had any luck with dating sites. I can only speak for myself, I got the impression most people on dating sites aren't looking for anything serious and just there for attention and to kill time online. Even if you meet them in real life, it doesn't mean anything. Chances are you'll never see them again. I've met a few people off dating sites and there were no horror dates, but it didn't turn into a relationship either with any of them. I'd much rather prefer meeting someone in real life than on the internet and get to know them by being in the same environment on a regular basis.
     
  16. Tim

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    When it comes to dating in general, I would probably define success as not having a messy ending. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. Rainbow Panda

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    I was in a long distance realtionship with someone for 5 years and we met online. Though not on a dating website so I don't know if that counts.
    Though recently, because I've moved to an area where I know no one, I've been trying to find friends and make connections on a dating site. So far it hasn't really worked, most of the people on there are people who are looking for other people to have threesomes with.
     
  18. BookDragon

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    So was I at first, then it occurred to me that it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference! I made the thing like I would any other account and if it never got looked at, so be it. Then before I knew it I was getting told people were viewing my profile!
     
  19. Foxface

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    OP, it's tough. The problem with online dating is that you have to find ways to keep it fresh. When you are with your lover in a room and silent there are so many nonverbals to keep things going. When online you online have the typing you do.

    One HUGE tip I will give you is take you time...even MORE so online. Because there is only typing, people tend to let out all the mystery quickly and get bored with their partner. It's hard but just be genuine, calme and relaxed and you'll do fine.

    Foxface
     
  20. tex st

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    yeah it worked for me

    you gotta stick to your guns in terms of who you are as a person and what kind of person you're looking for. WHERE you look also counts