Gender Cars - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

16th Jun 2008, 09:41 PM

Okay, so last week I got a new(er) car and I really like it. It's a silver 2004 Toyota RAV-4. I thought it was a really nice car, and my parents really liked it because of it's reliability and good gas mileage. However, while looking I was overly conscious about whether the car I was going to get looked like a car for girls or for guys, or one that one gender drove more frequently than another. Much to my dismay, today someone told me that I had a "girl car" and many others have described it as "cute" or "pretty".

What do you think about this? I mean, I know it ultimately doesn't matter because it serves its purpose: it gets me from here to there. But still, I don't really want to feel self-conscious when driving because I think someone is going to suspect I'm gay if I drive a girl car--I'm already self-conscious enough without that added weight.

Any thoughts? Has anyone else had a similar worry? Am I making too much out of too little?

Hoppip · 16th Jun 2008, 09:45 PM

What's wrong with being cute or pretty?

Besides, man cars are NOT all cool as 'girl' cars.

MeskElil · 16th Jun 2008, 09:46 PM

Oh, gosh, it's fine. A car's a car. And if you like it, that's even better.
I'm going to drive a huge pickup truck, so it's kind of similar for me but the opposite, you know? I'm going to get accused of being a dyke (which I am, so it's cool). But it doesn't matter. If it gets you places, it's serving its purpose.

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 17th Jun 2008, 03:01 AM

Try not to feel self-conscious about breaking gender stereotypes. You'd be much more unhappy if you spent your life checking your behaviour (and cars) for sufficient masculinity.

Sod the haters, it's their loss.

Kenko · 17th Jun 2008, 03:10 AM

I drive a purple girlie car that's my mom's old car. I honestly don't give a shit what other people think. It handles great, was inexpensive, hasn't given mechanical problems and is good on gas.

otc877 · 17th Jun 2008, 03:14 AM

I know where you're coming from. I've always wanted a Mini Cooper mostly because I think they're one of the coolest cars, but I'm a bit hesitant about it being a 'girly' car.

panda · 17th Jun 2008, 07:00 AM

Years ago when the Mini Coopers first came out there were racing series for the Cooper SS.They were fantastic race cars and incredibly fast. The Mini Copper's pedigree is that of a race car and not a "Girlie" car.

BlakeHarmony · 17th Jun 2008, 07:20 AM

It's not exactly masculine, but that does not look like a girly car, besides, who cares!

Quote:

I'm going to drive a huge pickup truck, so it's kind of similar for me but the opposite, you know? I'm going to get accused of being a dyke (which I am, so it's cool).

Me too! But if I do, I'll have to get a job or hobby where I'd actually use it properly.

Jeimuzu · 17th Jun 2008, 08:10 AM

I want to drive a Mazda when I finally pass my test. That's pretty damn gay.

The only really manly car that I like is the post-'05 Ford Mustang, and they're pretty much exclusively American cars.

Beebo · 17th Jun 2008, 08:11 AM

"I know it ultimately doesn't matter" -- If having a stylish car didn't matter , then we would all go around wearing trenchcoats and unitards from startrek. Since style does matter, you chose a car whose style, you liked; something that probably matches your personal preference.

Now you can either be ashamed of your choice of cars, and say "my mom picked it", if your friends ever rag on you for it, OR you can be comfortable with the fact that you like cars that might be a tinge 'girly'. If you choose the latter, some people might disagree with you, but they will respect your confidence. Don't force them to understand why you like the car though, because that would probably end with you coming out to them.

Jeimuzu · 17th Jun 2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beebo

"I know it ultimately doesn't matter" -- If having a stylish car didn't matter , then we would all go around wearing trenchcoats and unitards from startrek. Since style does matter, you chose a car whose style, you liked; something that probably matches your personal preference.

Now you can either be ashamed of your choice of cars, and say "my mom picked it", if your friends ever rag on you for it, OR you can be comfortable with the fact that you like cars that might be a tinge 'girly'. If you choose the latter, some people might disagree with you, but they will respect your confidence. Don't force them to understand why you like the car though, because that would probably end with you coming out to them.

Yeah, totally agree. It's something you'll use most days, you don't want to get up and think "Oh god, it's ugly..." so style does help. If you like your Rav4, think of it as your own little secret way of being honest with yourself; your little treat. There are much gayer cars than the Rav4, anyways. If someone rags at you for it... well, start ragging on their car. Start talking about how they're just jealous because their car is held together with rust, or how it costs them more on petrol, or that it's just plain ugly. Don't be aggressive about it, just take the mickey a little. Turnabout is fair play.

Joey · 17th Jun 2008, 08:39 AM

Hey... I drive a purple minivan. So... yeah, lol. I never thought of it as a 'girlie car' because I'm the one driving it and I don't look at me when I'm driving lol :P

agraves · 17th Jun 2008, 09:08 AM

I think my car is kinda gender neutral. I drive a greenish silverish Mazda 6. But I agree with what the others are saying and you shouldn't worry about what other people think (I know that's easier said than done at times though). As long as it gets you to where you're going and you like it, well, that's all that matters.

sdc91 · 17th Jun 2008, 10:36 AM

I don't think Rav-4s are girly. All the people I know who drive them are guys.

By the way, the Mustang is a chick car. Sorry Jeimuzu! If you look at who drives them, 80% are girls.

WilbersRevenge · 17th Jun 2008, 10:44 AM

It's not really a girly car. And if it is around where you live, it is just a car and you will survive. But if the constant fear of scrutiny is to much for you, just make some exuse as to why you got it, like "It was a really good deal" or your parent's paid for it, so you had no say.

But as far as gender-typing cars, the stereo-types are only there so we can brake them.
I should know, I drive a VW Beetle

Pancake · 17th Jun 2008, 11:07 AM

i would say that it is neutral..if you want a mascaline car try a Aston Martin V8 Vantage convertible

Jeimuzu · 17th Jun 2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pancake

i would say that it is neutral..if you want a mascaline car try a Aston Martin V8 Vantage convertible

Not sure your average teen has that sorta money. That's like, £100,000 or something.

You've been watching too much top gear.

interstella · 17th Jun 2008, 12:01 PM

I am SO getting a beetle when I'm 18!

17th Jun 2008, 12:29 PM

Thanks for all the responses...I definitely agree with what you're all saying. I think it's just something I need to work on because I'm too worried about what others are thinking about everything all the time...even though I try to hide that I worry about that. So, in the end...I like my car, it serves its purpose...I don't think anyone would make a big deal about it and if they did I could tease and play along. It really is no big deal...if I don't worry about everyone being able to see me belting and jamming with non-tinted windows in my car, than I shouldn't worry about what they think of the type of car.

17th Jun 2008, 08:00 PM

Who cares what gender your car seems to convey? If you have fun with it, it doesn't matter what others think. I drive a bright yellow jeep wrangler (stick shift) and - you guessed it - got crap for it while i was in high school. But once my friends went for a ride with me, they all changed their minds and said "hey, this is actually a really fun and awesome car!"

only downside was the gas mileage (16 miles/gal - OUCH).

16th Jun 2008, 09:41 PM	#1
goodisgood Guest Posts: n/a	Gender Cars Okay, so last week I got a new(er) car and I really like it. It's a silver 2004 Toyota RAV-4. I thought it was a really nice car, and my parents really liked it because of it's reliability and good gas mileage. However, while looking I was overly conscious about whether the car I was going to get looked like a car for girls or for guys, or one that one gender drove more frequently than another. Much to my dismay, today someone told me that I had a "girl car" and many others have described it as "cute" or "pretty". What do you think about this? I mean, I know it ultimately doesn't matter because it serves its purpose: it gets me from here to there. But still, I don't really want to feel self-conscious when driving because I think someone is going to suspect I'm gay if I drive a girl car--I'm already self-conscious enough without that added weight. Any thoughts? Has anyone else had a similar worry? Am I making too much out of too little?

16th Jun 2008, 09:45 PM	#2
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Gender Cars What's wrong with being cute or pretty? Besides, man cars are NOT all cool as 'girl' cars. __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant.

16th Jun 2008, 09:46 PM	#3
MeskElil ♥♥EC's Resident Hippie Child♥♥ Full Member Gender: Tomboy Orientation: Questioning...still... Out Status: 2 great guys who are helping me through everything Location: Southern California Age: 20 Posts: 1,038 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Gender Cars Oh, gosh, it's fine. A car's a car. And if you like it, that's even better. I'm going to drive a huge pickup truck, so it's kind of similar for me but the opposite, you know? I'm going to get accused of being a dyke (which I am, so it's cool). But it doesn't matter. If it gets you places, it's serving its purpose. __________________ Call me Mesk

17th Jun 2008, 03:01 AM	#4
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 2,195 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Gender Cars Try not to feel self-conscious about breaking gender stereotypes. You'd be much more unhappy if you spent your life checking your behaviour (and cars) for sufficient masculinity. Sod the haters, it's their loss. __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)

17th Jun 2008, 03:10 AM	#5
Kenko EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few friends + parents Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,407 Join Date: Jan 2007	Re: Gender Cars I drive a purple girlie car that's my mom's old car. I honestly don't give a shit what other people think. It handles great, was inexpensive, hasn't given mechanical problems and is good on gas.

17th Jun 2008, 03:14 AM	#6
otc877 ^_^ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most friends know Location: L.A. Outskirts Age: 22 Posts: 790 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Gender Cars I know where you're coming from. I've always wanted a Mini Cooper mostly because I think they're one of the coolest cars, but I'm a bit hesitant about it being a 'girly' car.

17th Jun 2008, 07:00 AM	#7
panda EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Toronto,Canada Age: 67 Posts: 4,653 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Gender Cars Years ago when the Mini Coopers first came out there were racing series for the Cooper SS.They were fantastic race cars and incredibly fast. The Mini Copper's pedigree is that of a race car and not a "Girlie" car.

17th Jun 2008, 08:10 AM	#9
Jeimuzu Wreck Cognition Full Member Gender: Heterogametic Orientation: Rawr. Out Status: 99% out. Location: Middlesbrough Age: 23 Posts: 1,744 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Gender Cars I want to drive a Mazda when I finally pass my test. That's pretty damn gay. The only really manly car that I like is the post-'05 Ford Mustang, and they're pretty much exclusively American cars. __________________

17th Jun 2008, 08:11 AM	#10
Beebo the cat what has facial hair. Full Member Gender: MAN Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 23 Posts: 893 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Gender Cars "I know it ultimately doesn't matter" -- If having a stylish car didn't matter , then we would all go around wearing trenchcoats and unitards from startrek. Since style does matter, you chose a car whose style, you liked; something that probably matches your personal preference. Now you can either be ashamed of your choice of cars, and say "my mom picked it", if your friends ever rag on you for it, OR you can be comfortable with the fact that you like cars that might be a tinge 'girly'. If you choose the latter, some people might disagree with you, but they will respect your confidence. Don't force them to understand why you like the car though, because that would probably end with you coming out to them. __________________ New Song up. a rough version of "The Ghost of Adam".(I will be adding more.)

17th Jun 2008, 08:39 AM	#12
Joey EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: tiny tiny University in northern Maryland Age: 23 Posts: 503 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Gender Cars Hey... I drive a purple minivan. So... yeah, lol. I never thought of it as a 'girlie car' because I'm the one driving it and I don't look at me when I'm driving lol :P __________________ I was smacked in the face with a piece of chicken which was covered in Thousand Island Dressing today... somehow, I know it'll be all right in the end.

17th Jun 2008, 09:08 AM	#13
agraves Amber Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 28 Posts: 246 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Gender Cars I think my car is kinda gender neutral. I drive a greenish silverish Mazda 6. But I agree with what the others are saying and you shouldn't worry about what other people think (I know that's easier said than done at times though). As long as it gets you to where you're going and you like it, well, that's all that matters. __________________ I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

17th Jun 2008, 10:36 AM	#14
sdc91 Coop d'état Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Berlin, Germany Age: 21 Posts: 1,607 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Gender Cars I don't think Rav-4s are girly. All the people I know who drive them are guys. By the way, the Mustang is a chick car. Sorry Jeimuzu! If you look at who drives them, 80% are girls. __________________

17th Jun 2008, 10:44 AM	#15
WilbersRevenge EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: love all, but in love with guys Out Status: To those friends who are my family Location: Jackson, NJ Age: 21 Posts: 275 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Gender Cars It's not really a girly car. And if it is around where you live, it is just a car and you will survive. But if the constant fear of scrutiny is to much for you, just make some exuse as to why you got it, like "It was a really good deal" or your parent's paid for it, so you had no say. But as far as gender-typing cars, the stereo-types are only there so we can brake them. I should know, I drive a VW Beetle __________________ In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery Were both in you And in this labyrinth where night is blind, The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.

17th Jun 2008, 11:07 AM	#16
Pancake Waffles suck! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: 85% Gay Out Status: 1 friend! Location: London, UK Age: 17 Posts: 658 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Gender Cars i would say that it is neutral..if you want a mascaline car try a Aston Martin V8 Vantage convertible __________________ Hi, name is John.

17th Jun 2008, 12:01 PM	#18
interstella Don't call me GaGa... Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Queer Out Status: Everyone Location: London, UK Age: 18 Posts: 700 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Gender Cars I am SO getting a beetle when I'm 18! __________________ Lesbian? Gay? Bisexual? Transgender? Queer? Whatever.

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17th Jun 2008, 12:29 PM	#19
goodisgood Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Gender Cars Thanks for all the responses...I definitely agree with what you're all saying. I think it's just something I need to work on because I'm too worried about what others are thinking about everything all the time...even though I try to hide that I worry about that. So, in the end...I like my car, it serves its purpose...I don't think anyone would make a big deal about it and if they did I could tease and play along. It really is no big deal...if I don't worry about everyone being able to see me belting and jamming with non-tinted windows in my car, than I shouldn't worry about what they think of the type of car.

17th Jun 2008, 08:00 PM	#20
eclipse Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Gender Cars Who cares what gender your car seems to convey? If you have fun with it, it doesn't matter what others think. I drive a bright yellow jeep wrangler (stick shift) and - you guessed it - got crap for it while i was in high school. But once my friends went for a ride with me, they all changed their minds and said "hey, this is actually a really fun and awesome car!" only downside was the gas mileage (16 miles/gal - OUCH).