"Sexuality is fluid"

It doesn't bother me when people say "sexuality is fluid" as long as they understand that for some people, it's not fluid and that they're not trying to invalidate who you are.

If they are meaning it in that way, believing you'll turn straight, then it bothers me. I think gay guys and more masculine lesbians still deal with it, mostly when first coming out, only they probably hear it phrased as, "It's just a phase," or "You're confused."

 

No, I dislike that phrase as well. I don't think many people's true sexuality has potential to change over their lifetime. Of course some people might experience that, but I don't think it's a significant amount. I know with 100% certainty that I'll never be with a woman, lol.

 

I used to love his phrase. That is when I identified as bisexual. It now has less meaning for me as a gay man. Bisexuality was just another form of denial for me. Yet I do recognize it as a legitimate orientation.

 

I hate it when anyone tries to tell anyone else about their sexuality. Full stop.

 

The phrase itself doesn't bother me, but the connotations "fluid sexuality" has regarding sex and gender definitely do. For instance, there's the idea that female sexuality is non-existent or unimportant, so what they experience towards one another "doesn't count", while male sexuality that doesn't conform to the rigid binary is seen as threatening by society. The concept is sexist and unfair in more than one way.

I think our labels and our definitions are definitely limited, and do human sexuality little justice. Take for example the variety within gay populations: some who feel little spark for members of the opposite sex, versus those who never have and couldn't even if they wanted to; people who value male/female presentations and/or identities versus genitals alone; stories of people who preferred one thing before, and totally flip flop later in life. And no, these stories aren't rare; there are quite a few on EC alone.

What bothers me are monosexuals using their experience to invalidate those of others, and that's probably a whole lot common, even within the LGBT community. There's still so much we don't know concerning sexuality, but people are too quick to say, "NO, it's like this, and that's all there is to it. The end."

 

no, it especially bugs me when people find out that I have had a past and then they try to push me and say well see maybe you can do it again tet see if you can try a guy again sexuality IS fluid you know go ahead try it you might like it :bang::bang::bang:

no! I know what I am I have not wanted to be with a guy in a couple of decades, I am pretty sure I have this figured out.

I do not decide yours do not decide mine. please (&&&)

 

If only that were true! God knows how many years I've tried to change my orientation, "fluid" my ass.

 

I think only our grasp and indeed our very understanding of sexuality is fluid, but it itself is not 'fluid' in the way that this statement tends to most often imply. A connotation it often brings that I do agree with is that sexuality is far removed from black and white and is very much a spectrum, so at the very least that part of it holds true.

 

I do agree with the statement to some extent, but its use is often problematic. For one, as previously mentioned, the implication is often that someone who's attracted to the same gender now won't be later. The opposite -- that someone who is straight could turn gay -- is rarely brought up (not that this is true, of course). This is especially true when applied to women. If a young woman mentions being open to a relationship with another women, "sexual fluidity" is often used to brush it aside as something temporary.

That being said, I am also frequently unsettled by arguments against the phrase, since they usually end up reinforcing the idea that a person's sexuality is an obvious, unchangeable thing that everyone knows from puberty (at the latest) onward. This is true for some people, but not for others. I didn't consider that I might be anything other than straight until I was 16 or so and binary cis until this year. It's not out of denial, either; I genuinely cannot tell what my gender or sexuality are. The latter is especially opaque and slippery.

Basically, what bothers me is one overarching narrative of sexuality and gender being used to erase others. I would like to see "sexuality is fluid" replaced with "sexuality is an immensely complex and personal thing."

 

It bothers me too, as far too many people have tried to become straight and realised their orientation is as fixed as their eye color. So I would think people wouldn't say that so often. Not that that is necessarily the case for everyone, and there's nothing wrong if one's orientation did change, but it does seem to be pretty solid or fixed as far as I can see (though perhaps complex). In general, at least.

 

To me? No. (Then again, I still don't understand the majority of these contrived statements.) I like guys. I like girls. Sometimes at the same time! It's not like one day I wake up and it's "Oh, it must be GAY TIME. No vaginas for me from now on!"

I find the phrase annoying as all hell. Same with the other overly-contrived gender/sexuality labels and statements, and especially the ones that come from tumblr. (Panromantic demisexual? Did that really need to be a label?)

 

I do believe that sexuality can be fluid; however, in many peoples cases, it probably is most certainly fixed. For example, I am gay and always have been. While I do understand the term, it is DANGEROUS in the wrong hands as it is reached some conservative groups and I just read an article recently by a conservative organization who is saying that since sexuality is fluid, LGBTQ people are thereby admitting it is possible to change and conversion therapy should not be banned. However, sexuality should come natural, if we naturally are fluid, let it be, if our sexuality is fixed for other individuals, let that be too.

 

You are what you are.
For me that means gay: I have never, since puberty, experienced any "fluidity" in my sexuality. It has been consistent and persistent since then, fine.
Other people may experience fluidity.
So what.
Some people do, some people don't.

 

Definitely one of the most overused phrases in recent years.

 

Fixed in some.

Fluid in others.

For those in whom it's fluid, it can go in a certain direction depending on developmental experiences, opportunities, and landing on a significant other they bond with.

It's way too complicated. One only need read some of the developmentally themed stories on EC.

 

Well, I strongly dislike it when its used to invalidate women's sexualities. But that isn't to say some people's sexualities aren't fluid.

And no, sexual fluidity isn't the same as bisexuality, although some people might id as both. Fluidity implies change in one's sexuality, for example, being attracted to women one day, and men the next. Bisexuality is usually constant, in other words, being attracted to two genders all the time.

 

I've tried to change myself so many times! If only sexuality were as fluid as people say ...

There are studies that indicate that sexuality tends to be more flexible in women than in men; e.g., it would seem that lesbian women are more likely to find a man vaguely or strongly sexually attractive than gay men are to find a woman vaguely or strongly sexually attractive. I do not have thorough statistics, so I can't really vouch for any scientific position on this.

Speaking, however, as a lesbian, I am, with a single and tentative exception, exclusively attracted to women. There has been one man I have thought about kissing, but he is a feminine gay man, and the idea of actually kissing him is ultimately undesirable. I have spent my whole life striving for an attraction to men, but it just doesn't work.

 

Fluid doen't mean you can freely chose the direction of the flow. That we can change, doesn't mean we can freely choose how or when. You can choose to come out, but choosing not to has consequences that no one should have to suffer with. A queer man can choose to marry, have sex with his wife, but both he and his wife will suffer in ways that no should have to go through.
Choice is not simple. It's complicated. Homophobes--or anyone--who talks about choice like it's pizza with mushrooms or without is a closeted bigot, or deep deep in denial.