Dating and Disability

When I had my broken leg, I hated being out in public in the wheelchair and I always felt like I was in the way. I know how you feel.

That said, I'd date someone with a disability if they were the one for me. I thought the son with cerebral palsy from Breaking Bad was pretty cute, and I'd date him in a heartbeat.

 

A disability isn't going to stop me from asking someone out if I like them. My own lack of courage will stop me, though. I had a huge crush on a classmate of mine, who is in a wheelchair. I don't seem him around much, and I really wish I had had the guts to talk to him more often. Disabilities aren't a turn off for me. A personality that doesn't work with mine is a turn off.

 

I agree, opposites can be good. I love surrounding myself with people who are outgoing, even though I'm really shy. I'm just terrified to talk to people I have crushes on in general. About the crush, anyway. The guy in the wheelchair and I joked around, but I never got his number and never brought up the possibility of a date. I would talk to him more, but I haven't seen him around since the beginning of this term.

 

I'd date a guy with a physical disability, I think. One-armed, in a wheelchair, or something like that isn't a problem. A mental disability or a really severe physical handicap might be harder to deal with; it might require dependency in the relationship and make things unduly hard.

 

It wouldn't bother me at all, though my disability puts people off dating me

 

It wouldn't matter to me.

 

Every word of this /\

 

I have a disability. It's something I can (and do) hide for the most part until I have to talk about it but its a recent thing... And something that has taught me a lot about people. It sucks a little to find out that person you're having a awesome second or third date with is so totally turned off by disabled people.

It has made me anxious and depressed a lot.. I often feel hideous. I've never been good with asking for things either, and that's on me, but i love touch, and when a partner doesn't touch me it makes me feel awful.... And I mean just the little hand on your back things. Never mind the better stuff. I don't know how to say "hey sweetie, I need you to touch me so I don't feel like a monster."

Sometimes it's easier to just stay indoors and not talk to anyone... but I know that intellectually that's not a great idea either.

 

Seeing that I have a disabilty myself, it would be a injustice to me and other PWDs to not date PWDS solely on the fact that they have a disability. In fact, it's something that we could bond on or what have you. Even dating someone without a disability can be invigorating because you already have a conversation starter and if they're curious about your disability or disabilities in general, they could just ask you. I even conveyed to my ex that I believe my disability is holding me back. He told me that it wasn't holding me back much, but it did somewhat concerning what went on in the bedroom. He is very perceptive of my disability and wasn't exactly sure where the barriars were.

I told my crush that I have Cerebral Palsy (it came up somehow) before we went on our first date. This was when I honestly believed it was holding me back. We then parted our ways and it came to a point where I told him that I really like him and that it was breaking my heart that he really liked another guy. I just went head-on with it and asked him his first impression of me and he said: "I really did not see anything wrong ..." That gave me so much joy and essentially told me that what I have been worrying about all along was essentially nothing.

PWDs = People with Disabilites.

---------- Post added 9th Dec 2013 at 01:40 PM ----------

Funny...I was thinking about posting this thread last night but slipped my mind.

 

Another thing might be is that, if it's basically the same case with me, is that like other people may not perceive it as an obstacle but in our mind, it's like "well...I know you're okay with it, but I have no clue where the barriers are." I guess it's just a trial and error thing. And just something else that our partners have to be wary of but at the same time, it does suck because we don't want to voice anything to be perceived as weak. And I do honestly believe that's our main obstacle. That being, to being able to voice when we aren't able to do something and still being perceived as strong.

If you don't mind me asking, how severe is your CP?

 

That's pretty much the inverse of what it's supposed to do but seeing as you gave up on PT when you were 14, then yea

It's not as apparent as it can be, but it still exists. By that I mean, it does affect my balence, speech and the like. My speech, when I was younger, is very hard to understand for those who are not used to hearing me talk and had to go to speech therapy for that. It has gotten better but some words will sound like others at times. For example, if I say the word 'world,' it will sound like 'word' so with that, it takes me a lot longer to get out what I'm trying to say, which can be very annoying. As for my balance, let's just say I walk better when I am intoxicated which is the truth. Also, walk like I'm drunk when I'm sober if I walk without thinking. Walking for long distances is possible, but my muslces in my legs tire out very easily. Ice skating for me is not possible. That said, it's icy here in Texas so I needed my friends to help me traverse the ice. When I was in primary school, I would wear a helmet and use a walker. But those are pretty much not needed anymore.

 

I have autism, and as much as I wish I didn't, it produced some of the qualities that my boyfriend was initially attracted to. For me, it's a disability and something I'll have to live with my whole life.

 

I dated someone with a disability. I honestly don't care. Then again, everyone is different, but I do think there are a significant amount of people that won't mind.

 

I have CP as well and it affects my balance a bit and my speech as well because I have a slight lisp which I HATE! I've recently noticed that I have a hard time saying 'W' sounds clearly and also when I'm having a conversation I have a hard time saying out loud what I want to say which causes people to interrupt me and ignore me when I'm speaking...that is the worst part about my CP in my opinion!

 

Talking about CP I watched this doco today and it's amazing how marijuana can change the way a person with CP talks.

Cerebral palsy and Cannabis - YouTube