So I am out to a few friends, but in the closet at home and at work. I work in a pharmacy, and we had a temp pharmacist in today, and I usually eat my lunch in the back of the pharmacy. Today while I was on my lunch, I overheard said pharmacist say something along the lines of the following to the other tech on duty: "So earlier there was this transkid in here. He had like painted nails and lipgloss on and shit, and he talked like this *kind of insulting stereotypical gay lisp* his name was **omitted**..." He kept talking about this girl like that, and I just got so pissed off. It took everything I had not to flip out, he was being completely disrespectful and ignorant. If I was the only one in the pharmacy, I would have flat out told him off and outed myself in the process, and if he had any objections, I would have walked out and let him flounder by himself for the rest of the evening. But with the other tech there, I couldn't. I don't feel comfortable outing myself at work, and with how worked up I got overhearing the conversation I know I would have outed myself if I tried speaking up. Seriously ruined my mood for the rest of my shift, I hope it showed. :tantrum:
What if the person was one of those Hipstr Tumblr "trans trenders"? They might have been an FtM who had no idea what he was doing. Probably not. But being transsexual is a complex thing to explain. Most transgender people don't have much,knowledge about it, in fact. Can you blame the guy for saying stupid things? Just my two cents.
At least your coworker called the person "transkid". It's probably (no, it's definitely) something cis people have hard time to understand. What about befriending the girl without outing yourself? To help her facing people like your coworker?
It's quite possible he will. Transmen receive a lot of discrimination. In different ways, yes, but it's ridiculous to imply that he will never be discriminated against. __________ As for what happened, I know the feeling. Often stuff like this plays on my mind for a couple of days and I go through in my head all the possible things I could've said instead. At the end of the day, assholes are assholes and they don't deserve the time it takes for you to be annoyed at them. If he brings this stuff up again, there may be other opportunities to reprimand him. Don't let him rule your emotions.
X2 Don't you guys remember "The Pregnant Man" and how everyone flipped out about how he was a transman without bottom surgery? He caught TONS AND TONS of flak.
Right? Even I remember that and at the time, I actually thought Thomas Beatie was intersex. People either considered him something of a dancing bear or did nothing but freak out. I honestly think if you'd told me that I'd one day grow up to be a man and you cited Thomas Beatie as the only example of an FtM, I would've flipped the fuck out. Transmen do face discrimination as well. Maybe not as overtly, maybe not as publicized but why sit around playing oppression olympics or pretending not everyone has problems? DISCRIMINATION impacts EVERYONE.
Because, don't you know, if you're part of a majority then obviously everything is peachy. Everyone knows that it's only minorities that have issues.
Oh man. I'm still trying to break out of that. I mean...Man. Like, it's not okay for anyone to be racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/etc but just because someone's not the majority doesn't mean it's okay for THEM to be ist/phobic. Like some people I know are saying men deserve to be raped because they're men. No. Stop. No one should be raped, period. Claiming someone should be raped just to play SJW doesn't make you the better person.
For some reason, transmen don't even get media representation. As a young person I watch lots of tv, and not once can I recall seeing any program with a transman on it. So transmen benefit in a way from the very thing that oppresses them.
As of right now... 1) Adam from "Degrassi" 2) Max from "The L Word" Two most famous transmale characters ATM. How's anyone supposed to benefit without media representation? When you had Adam on Degrassi, a generation of teens saw a transguy normalized and not only knew what a transguy was but got to know him as a person and a love interest/friend/brother to other characters. Without Adam, these same people probably wouldn't have had the chance to learn about what being trans meant, or at least not in a positive light.
Oh and don't forgot Brandon Teens from Boys Don't Cry. When transgendered people are represented in a sympathetic way it's always tragic. Not once are they ever depicted as good, normal people in fictional television. I looked up Max and they presented him as a potential murderer.
Never seen L Word. That's why we need media representation.... So we can have characters who aren't always the same cookie cutter tragic stories. CW recently optioned a show about a transguy ("Ze" so it's speculated that the protagonist may also be non-binary) but I haven't heard much about it beyond that they're casting the lead. Like you know what I really want? A trans character who fights the monster of the week and looks good in shades. Gender issues? They've got it figured out (every other trans show/book is about the discovery process. Which would be fine if that wasn't every trans book), they've got to kick ass and take names.
If you want good representation, it's gonna have to be a trans*person that does it. You can't count on gays for that either as I'm almost certain that the writers of The L Word are gay or at least some of them are, yet even they depict transmen poorly. The jaundiced cis writers have proven over and over that they're not interested in treating us fairly, and that's why it's important for us to regain control over how we're represented. The trans movement has been deflated by this The behavior of cis people, including the way they depict us, affects our lives in the most significant ways. As long as they're misrepresenting us, no real understanding of trans* people will be achieved. You, as an aspirant writer, should make that character you want so badly happen, because it's not gonna happen unless people like you jumpstart it. I know I complain about the demonization of transwomen, but the only worse alternative would be not getting noticed at all, so the invisibility of transmen is arguably even worse, because there's something so depressing about not getting noticed. But all that aside, thanks for reminding me of that show - I know they've been showing gay friendly shows, and I vaguely recall hearing something about a show based on a transgender character and then I forgot all about it. I'm delighted with the premise of the show, and I'll definitely be watching once they start broadcasting it.
I can agree that at least we don't have negative representation in the media. But the thing about having nearly zero representation is that sometimes you even start to think you don't exist - you're not part of the vast majority, or the weird minority. You're so bizzare that the media can't comprehend your existance. I watched a bit of degrassi when the Adam character was part of the cast. I liked how normal he was. There were a few episodes about trans issues and acceptance, but for the most part based on what I've seen, he was just seen as a guy by all of his friends and peers, which was really nice and made an important statement to the shows viewers about acceptance I think. ---------- Post added 15th Dec 2013 at 05:39 AM ---------- Honestly, I don't know what her gender was (99% sure I've seen her before and pretty positive she's either genderqueer or mtf), but I don't think it really matters. I just don't think that the guy's extreme response to her presence was warranted. Especially his exhasperated (very nearly word for word here) "I was nice to him, now he's gonna come back here. He might make this his regular pharmacy now and everyone's gonna hate me for it". That's what really did it for me. Like, I'm so sorry we trans and otherwise gender non-conforming individuals are such an inconvenience to you, and you're gonna get all butthurt about the repercussions of being nice to one of us. :dry: ---------- Post added 15th Dec 2013 at 05:41 AM ---------- If I see her around again I might. She seems pretty cool.
